


Ishimondo Drabbles & Short Stories

by CharlotteML



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Drabble Collection, Fluff, M/M, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-04-20 06:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 38,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14254623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlotteML/pseuds/CharlotteML
Summary: I have a bunch of short Ishimondo drabbles/one-off short stories that I posted on tumblr but not on here, so I figured I'd start gradually uploading them here. I'll be posting one a week and they're mostly in the range of 1,000-3,000 words long.Each one is self-contained so although the fic itself might be listed as unfinished, the stories themselves are as finished as they'll ever get.





	1. Umbrella (Mondo POV)

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a prompt on tumblr (Sorry I can't remember where from) that read “I have important school work in my rucksack and it’s raining so I need to commandeer your umbrella AU” and instantly thought of Taka. 1200 words.  
> (Also this is about the oldest of these, so it's not great. I'm hoping they'll get better.)

“Err… Excuse me! I hate to bother you, but I have some important documents in my bag, and my umbrella has ceased functioning! Could I humbly request that I commandeer yours!?”

The hell was that? Was that Ishimaru, harassing people as they tried to leave the school for the day? Man, the guy really was up himself if he thought it was alright to ask people to let their own things get wet in order to save _his…_

Mondo got closer to the front entrance and found that, yes, Ishimaru _was_ stopping everyone he saw carrying an umbrella and repeating the same stupid spiel:

“Excuse me! I hate to bother you, but I have some important documents in my bag, and my umbrella has ceased functioning! Could I humbly request that I commandeer yours!?”

Most people were just looking at him like he was crazy and leaving without a word, but there was the odd person whose reply was funny enough to convince Mondo to stick around to watch the annoyance get more and more desperate as he kept making an idiot of himself, starting with Togami…

“Excuse me, Togami! I hate to bother you, but I have some important documents in my bag, and my umbrella has ceased functioning! Could I humbly request that I commandeer yours!?”

“Certainly…”

“Ah! Thank you ve…”

“I assume you’ll be able to compensate me for the resulting damage to my suit?”

“Err… N-no I don’t think I _could_ …”

 _"Well_ then, I'll be leaving _with_ my umbrella..."

And now here came that photographer and the bratty dancer who always clung to her…

“Excuse me, Mahiru! I hate to bother you, but I have some important documents in my bag, and my umbrella has ceased functioning! Could I humbly request that I commandeer yours!?”

“What!? Geeeeez, you’re a _guy! You’re_ supposed to offer _me_ an umbrella, not the other way around!”

“Well… I would but mine’s broken?”

“Well, big sis wouldn’t want to share an umbrella with _you_ anyway, you freak-eyed loudmouth!”

"Ah... alright then..."

Aww damn, here came Makoto, looked like the end of the show… there’s no way Makoto would turn down the pathetic loser…

“Excuse me, Makoto! I hate to bother you, but I have some important documents in my bag, and my umbrella has ceased functioning! Could I humbly request that I commandeer yours!?”

“Uhh… Sorry, Taka. Mine’s broken to! What are the chances, huh…?”

“Ah… well good luck not getting wet. It’s really pouring out there…”

“Thanks. Good luck getting an umbrella!”

"Thank you...!"

People were starting to thin out now… looked like his last chance was the mechanic from class 77…

“Excuse me, Souda! I hate to bother you, but I have some important documents in my bag, and my umbrella has ceased functioning! Could I humbly request that I commandeer yours!?”

“Uhh… Sorry, man. I kinda turned it into car during English class…”

“ _How…!?_ ”

“Well, see, if you take out the spokes…”

“How could you even _think_ of neglecting your studies like that!?”

“Uhh… see ya!”

“Souda, don’t you run away from me…! The rain won’t save you from discussing this tomorrow!”

 

Well, that was everyone… and Ishimaru knew it to, judging from the way his shoulders actually slumped for once as he looked into the torrential downpour on the other side of the door… the one that was forecast not to stop until tomorrow.

Didn’t look like Ishimaru was going to do anything else interesting… time for Mondo to head out himself…

“AH! Excuse me, Oowada! I hate to bothe…”

Oh yeah… His bike was in the shop… which meant _he_ had an umbrella today… But still…

“You ain’t ‘commandeering’ _shit_ from me!” He snapped. “Stuck-up asshole, giving everyone detentions all the goddamn time and then having the nerve ta ask for shit from us! Like _you_ and your stupid school work’s more important than everyone _else_ in this place!”

“Ah… I… I didn’t mean to…” He stammered. “It’s just I really _do_ have something important with me today!”

“Well, what is it?” Mondo asked.

“…It’s not something I wish to discuss with _you…”_

 _Stuck up asshole…_ Well, if he didn’t wanna _discuss_ it…

“Then I’ll just take a look myself then!” Mondo snapped, roughly grabbing the strap of his rucksack and yanking it off his arm, then spinning him around to get it away from him completely.

“Let’s see what’s in here then…” Mondo pulled out the first thing his hand touched. “Math notes? Those aren’t important…” He threw them on the muddy floor…

“Ngh! Oowada that is disrespectful…” The dizzy looking Ishimaru complained.

“Class meeting minutes? No one give a shit…” He carried on dropping stuff on the floor…

“Those are _important_!”

“A library book? Like those don’t get wet all the time…” On the floor it went!

“It’s _still_ school property!”

“And… what the hell is this?” His hand brought out a plastic folder, the sort you put into ring binders…

“Oowada! I _swear_ on her _grave_ if you put one _finger_ on that…!” Ishimaru shouted, looking like he was getting ready to deck him the moment he dared drop it to the floor... whereas he’d made no attempt to do anything for the other stuff.

But... _her_ grave? _Whose_ grave? And what the hell was so important that he’d refuse to walk in the rain, even with it folded in plastic and buried under a stack of notes and books... Mondo couldn’t help but look...

It was a single photograph, showing a young Ishimaru, stood between two older Ishimarus...

“ _Please_... it’s the last photograph of me and her we _have!”_

Well, that made sense now... _she_ was his mother, or _had_ been before she died at least...

“Guess you’ve got sensible priorities after all...” Mondo admitted as he put the photograph back in the rucksack and passed it over to Ishimaru. “Why you bring it to school?”

“Ah... Fujisaki said she could help me scan it, and put it on my ‘Facebook’ page!” He said, looking pleasantly surprised that Mondo had returned it on one piece.

“Really? Did it work?” Mondo asked, thinking of the old photos of Daiya he had tucked away in a shoebox…

“Yes… reasonably at least. But the original still looks better so…” He sighed, “I guess I’m sleeping in the school tonight!”

“The hell you are…” Mondo muttered.

“…You’re letting me commandeer your umbrella?” Ishimaru asked, hopefully.

“Hell no!” Mondo snapped, opening it. “But it’s big enough we can share and you live on the way to my house.” He shrugged.

“You… want to share an umbrella?” Ishimaru looked freaked out. “Like we’re a couple?”

“WHAT!? NO!” Mondo snapped. “I’m just not enough of an asshole to make you sleep in the goddamn school! Don’t make this fuckin’ _weird_!”

“But… it _is_ something most commonly done by couples…”

“Alright, _fine!_ Just _take_ the fuckin’ thing.” Mondo shoved it at him. “I’d rather get soaked than be seen _dead_ near you anyways!” He snapped, turning away and running full pelt into the downpour.

…Well _that_ was a stupid idea, now he was gonna need a bath and to restyle his pompadour once he got back home, which was gonna take a while…

Still better than anyone, _especially_ Ishimaru, thinking there was a chance in _hell_ he wanted to be in a couple with _that_ guy!


	2. A 'Healthy' Snack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was something I wrote on a whim because I was annoyed at having to work at home on a night where I'd been ready to go off to bed as soon as I got home.

Kiyotaka shut his eyes and rubbed them, before returning to look at the computer screen. He was tired, and shouldn’t really be doing such important work in such a state, he was  _certain_ to make some blindingly obvious mistake and cause the whole project to crash to the ground.

“How long ya been working on that now?” Mondo asked, his voice twinging with concerned irritation.

“Almost an hour.” Kiyotaka answered.

“And  _when_ did ya boss ask ya ta do it?”

“Ten minutes before I was due to leave work.”

“And he said it needs doing by tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“And ya didn’t tell him ta go stuff himself  _because…?”_

 _“_ Because it  _does_ need doing by tomorrow!” Kiyotaka sighed, “He’s away next week and if we don’t get this finalised soon then we’ll lose the opportunity for funding and…”

“It still sounds like  _his_ fucking problem!” Mondo grumbled.

“It’s not as if he intended to make me work at home… we’re all overworked at the moment!” Kiyotaka tried to assure his boyfriend he wasn’t working for a tyrant. “And I shouldn’t be too much longer… so long as I don’t make any mistakes, at least.”

“Alright, I’ll let ya get on then…” Mondo sighed, obviously disappointed not to be able to spend time together “D’ya want a snack or anythin’?”

“Hmm… A nutritional boost might help kick my brain into gear.” Kiyotaka decided, “But make sure it’s something healthy!” He added.

“Sure thing, Taka!” Mondo smirked at Kiyotaka’s dedication to his health and ruffled his hair before heading into the kitchen…

It was alright for  _him_ to be eating carelessly, his carpentry meant he burnt off excess calories easily enough, even  _without_ the added weight training they usually did together. The same was  _not_ true of Kiyotaka’s office job, however! Especially not when his boss’ poor scheduling meant that Kiyotaka ended up working through his allotted exercise time…

“Here ya go!” Mondo cheerfully placed a plate in front one him, “One healthy snack!”

“Thank you!” Kiyotaka smiled… as petty as it was, he did  _like_ being pampered, in moderation, of course! But then he actually  _looked_ at the snack… “Mondo… what is this?”

“It’s nutella.” Mondo told him, as if it wasn’t perfectly obvious what the thick brown substance that constituted about 30% of his ‘healthy snack’  _was._

 _“_ I know that… what I meant was, how,  _exactly_ , do you think that  _shortbread,_ coated with  _nutella_  I might add, constitutes a  _healthy_ snack?” 

“It’s mentally healthy.” Mondo managed to say with a straight face.

“ _What…?”_ Kiyotaka was at a loss for words… that was a  _ridiculous_ argument, and yet he was too tired and frazzled to put into words exactly  _why_ it was…

“C’mon! You think I ain’t noticed how stressed ya been the last coupla weeks?” Mondo sighed at him, “I get it, this shit’s important and ya wanna get it done right, but you’ve not been sleeping right and now you’re not even getting time ta chill at home…”

“I can manage! And it should calm down next week…” At least, Kiyotaka  _hoped_ it would, with his boss gone for a while…

“I know, but… you could stand ta let yourself have some sugar ta perk you up a bit…” Mondo waved the plate in front of his nose… he had to admit, it did  _smell_ tempting…

“Alright… but just  _one!”_ He insisted, as he not-so-reluctantly took a biscuit and bit into it. To his slight annoyance, the rich taste of the chocolate actually  _did_ help him feel slightly less tired and frustrated…

“See! Told ya you’d feel better!” Mondo gloated as he noticed Kiyotaka’s muscles and features relaxing, “ _Now_ ya can get on with work! And I guess I gotta eat these extra biscuits…”

In other words Mondo had on-purposefully made more than he knew Kiyotaka would eat, because he’d wanted an excuse to eat junk himself… Was Kiyotaka really that predictable? It was nice to have someone who knew what he needed, even when he couldn’t recognise it himself, but it still rankled that he was so easy to manipulate at times…

“Wait, Mondo. I think I need a bit more sugar.” He declared, “Come back over here, please.”

“Oh… ya  _do?”_ Mondo asked, disappointment obvious in his voice as he walked back over with the plate and leaned down to allow Kiyotaka to take one…

At which point Kiyotaka grabbed him by his vest and pulled him down for a kiss, sloppily forcing their lips together and unable to help but smile into it as he heard Mondo carefully put the plate down before moving his hands to the back of his neck and shoulder blades.

A minute later, Mondo pulled back for breath…

“ _NOW_ I can get on with my work!” Kiyotaka announced, returning his gaze to the computer screen with renewed vigour, “Enjoy your biscuits!”

“Hah! Shoulda  _known_ it was too good ta be true! _”_ Mondo laughed, “But once you’re done with that it’s  _your_ turn ta give  _me_ some ‘sugar’!”

“Absolutely!” Kiyotaka agreed… and  _know_ he had even  _more_ motivation to get this work done quickly…  


	3. Rub for Luck (Shinos Museum AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short piece based on the museum AU @shinos-artblog on tumblr came up with, where Kiyotaka is a statue that comes to life at night. See here for details: http://shinos-artblog.tumblr.com/tagged/museum-au
> 
> I was thinking about some of the stuff that happens to statues, and remembered reading stories where some statues were getting eroded in certain (inappropriate) places because people keep rubbing them there because they thought it was lucky, and this idea popped into my head.
> 
> (Also, slight warning: I mention Kiyotaka’s butt a lot more in this than I usually do in my fics)
> 
> Word count: 3100

 

Mondo clocked into work and headed to the guard room to both relieve and interrogate the guy who handled the afternoon and evening shift at the museum they worked at…

“So, you actually been doing your  _job_ today?” Mondo asked, taking the set of keys that unlocked the security station from the guy…

“Geez… yeah I paid attention this time. No one stuck gum on your favourite statue…”

“ _Good.”_ Mondo stated as he sat in the chair, in what he hoped was a subtly threatening tone.

He was pretty sure he heard the other guard muttering about what a weirdo Mondo was as he walked out… and to be fair to the guy, if you’d asked him a few weeks ago, he’d have also said that anyone who had a favourite statue was a fuckin’ weirdo as well.

But now he  _did_ have a favourite statue, but not because he’d become the sort of weirdo he’d been expecting to meet when he’d taken this night guard job, but because he’d found a pretty weird statue… one that quickly had him heading over to the Antiquities section with a towel as soon as he was sure the other guard had left the building each and every night.

He arrived at the Antiquities section and headed over to his ‘favourite statue’ and waited with baited breath. This part always made him slightly anxious, looking up at the back of the well toned, spiky haired, pretty much naked man that had been chiseled out of stone several thousand years ago, and wondering what if nothing happened tonight? What if tonight was the night that whatever magic caused the statue of Kiyotaka Ishimaru to come to life at the stroke of 11pm every evening didn’t  _work?_ Or worked on one of the  _other_ statues? Or turned out to have never existed and Mondo had just gone completely batshit crazy after his brother died?

…But as usual, tonight his anxieties were relieved as soon as the clock ticked over, and Kiyotaka began to do what Mondo had started guiltily thinking of ‘Kiyotaka’s sexy wake up jiggle’… starting by stretching his arms up and arching his back, then shaking out his legs (and that nice ass he’d been carved with), then he’d usually stretch his arms out sideways and give them and his hips a little shake as well…

Except that tonight, he replaced  _that_ step with rubbing his own backside, frowning off into the distance as he did so…

“Uhh…” Mondo let out an unintentional drawl, slightly mesmerised by thoughts of placing  _his_ hands where  _Kiyotaka’s_ were… He still wasn’t entirely sure what the statue’s body was made of at night time. His skin was as pale and smooth as the marble he’d been carved out of, but sometimes Mondo thought he had a little too much softness and flex in his movements to be completely made of stone… or was that just wishful thinking on his part, as he imagined himself running his hands over the statue’s handsome body…

“Ah! Mondo! Good Night!” Kiyotaka greeting him cheerfully… if he’d been a normal person, he’d have been one of those obnoxious morning types. “Is something the matter?” He added, tilting his head quizzically as Mondo stared dumbstruck at him…

“N-no! I’m fine!” Mondo dropped his gaze, hoping the statue hadn’t noticed him leering. “Here’s ya towel…” He added, holding it up so Kiyotaka could cover himself up.

“Ah, right…” Kiyotaka muttered, sounding slightly put out at having to cover himself, as he always did. He was quite proud of his body and didn’t understand why Mondo wouldn’t want to look at it, when lots of other people who visited the museum  _did…_

Of course, Mondo  _hadn’t_ told him that the problem wasn’t that he  _didn’t_  wanna look at it, but that he  _did_ wanna look at it…

“Oh, but first, could you please tell me if my backside looks any different?” He suddenly asked.

“What? No, it looks the same as usual…” Mondo told him, trying to shove the towel at him.

“You’re not looking at it though!” Kiyotaka complained.

“I looked at it while I was waiting for ya to wake up!” Mondo explained.

“Hmm… alright then…” Kiyotaka frowned, looking as if he was trying to puzzle something out as he tied the towel around his waist.

“Why were ya worrying about it, anyway?” Mondo asked him, “Did something hit it or something?”

“No… well, not a  _hit_ exactly…” Kiyotaka finished tying the towel and jumped down from his dais onto the floor. “It’s just… there was a new tour guide this morning, and he kept telling people that rubbing my backside would make them have good luck…”

“What… so everyone was touching your  _ass?”_ Mondo scowled, “Fucking asshole… he shouldn’t be telling people to do  _that!_ ”

“Yes, I know, because of erosion! I read about it once when we had an exhibit on how us statues have been preserved and common problems we face, as well as how the different oils on human hands can damage the paintings and…”

Mondo hadn’t been thinking about erosion… to be honest he hadn’t really been thinking of much, other than his instinctive annoyance that  _other_ people were being given an excuse to touch Kiyotaka up. But he still listened as Kiyotaka recounted the various difficulties involved in art preservation.

It was odd, Mondo knew that Kiyotaka had no special knowledge of art beyond reading the descriptions on every piece of art in the museum, and every book in the gift shop, multiple times. So there should be nothing he knew that Mondo wouldn’t have just skipped past, had he been visiting the museum for fun (which, let’s face it, was a pretty big stretch to begin with). But Kiyotaka had a way of making all the boring crap that lined the walls of this place  _interesting,_ to the point that Mondo had occasionally spent the entire shift just listening to the some of the huge amount of information the statue had retained.

“I just hope  _I_  won’t be eroded…” Kiyotaka’s speech came full circle after a while, as he clutched his backside with a concerned look on his face.

“Well… when exactly was this dumbass doing his tour?” Mondo asked, “I can have a talk with him, like I did with that other guard who was letting people stick gum on ya!”

“Ah… I appreciate the offer, but this happened almost straight after the museum opened for the day…” Kiyotaka sighed.

“Uhh… So?” Mondo asked, he’d just have to stay up a few hours later than he usually did after work.

“That’s when you go to sleep, isn’t it?” Kiyotaka asked.

“Well… yeah, usually. I can stay up longer to help you out, though!” Mondo shrugged.

“You… you  _can!?”_ Kiyotaka looked gobsmacked at the idea.  _“How!?”_

“Uhh… well… I just… don’t let myself sleep…” Mondo tried to explain, “Umm… human’s ain’t like you, we can sorta…  _control_  when we sleep, like if we keep ourselves busy and moving, we  _can’t_ sleep.”

“ _Really!?”_ Kiyotaka stared at him in awe, “So… why do you  _ever_ sleep? Wouldn’t you rather be able to move about all the time?  _I_ certainly would! It’s frustrating being stuck watching everyone else move about and not being able to move myself…”

“Ah… I don’t mean we  _never_ have to sleep, if we don’t get enough sleep we start feeling like crap, and the longer we go without sleep, the harder it is to stay awake.” Mondo explained. “It’s just that we can play about with the exact times a bit…”

“Oh, I see… that’s  _amazing,_ I never realised humans were so versatile!” Kiyotaka smiled at him like he was the cleverest person on Earth…

That was the other odd thing about talking to Kiyotaka. The statue was a fountain of knowledge when it came to trivia found  _inside_ the museum, but simple stuff that every kid  _outside_ of it would know, like how  _sleeping_ worked? He was completely clueless half the time, and acted as if Mondo was a complete genius when he gave his ham-handed explanations of them.

It was nice, but Mondo couldn’t help wonder what would happen if he statue ever met someone who actually  _was_ smart and realised how thick he actually was in comparison…

Still, he shouldn’t worry about that sort of thing. For starters, he needed to plan to stay awake an extra hour after his shift began, which meant… “I need ta go get myself a cup of coffee…” He grimaced. The coffee in the place tasted like burnt hair.

“But… you  _hated_ that stuff the last time you tried it!” Kiyotaka commented in confusion.

“Yeah… but it’ll help me stay awake until that tour guide comes in.” Mondo pointed out.

Kiyotaka’s jaw practically dropped to the floor…

 

After several pleasant hours of discussing caffeine, coffee and how people turned the beans that Kiyotaka had seen pictures of traders selling into the liquid that people drank in paintings of cafes (He’d assumed they just got mashed up into a paste), Kiyotaka sighed and announced that he needed to return to his pedestal, to go back into his unmoving sleep for the day ahead…

“I’ve gotta head back to the security station to give the keys to the next guy, but I’ll be right back to keep an eye out for that guide once the place opens, alright?” Mondo promised him.

“Yes, thank you so much!” Kiyotaka smiled, “You’re such a kind man! I’m lucky it was  _you_ who got this job!”

“Heh… don’t mention it!” Mondo blushed. He didn’t get why Kiyotaka thought he was so kind, he was just doing the least he could for the guy… it’s not like staying awake a few extra hours for one night would kill him… He could organise getting an appointment for his bike’s MOT test as well… “See ya tomorrow, Kiyotaka!”

“Thank you!” Kiytoaka replied, getting into his usual position… “And Good Morn….”

He was cut off as the clock ticked over to 6am and whatever spell brought him to life stopped working and left him as nothing but a cold, marble statue.

Mondo swallowed a pang of sadness as he gently removed the towel and took it back to the guard station. He was starting to feel more and more disappointed every time that happened…

 

Another few hours later, and Mondo was the first person to enter the museum, having waited outside for the doors to open. Then he’d gone straight back to Kiyotaka’s room and waited for this idiot of a tour guide to show up…

It didn’t take long before a group of people were being herded into the room by some guy with large, brown hair that stuck upwards in all directions… geez, and people thought Mondo’s pompadour was impossible! At least  _his_ style was obviously done with hairspray, how was  _that_ guy keeping his hair up!?

And even more ridiculous than the hairstyle were the stories Mondo could overhear him telling about the pieces on display… in some cases he was giving them almost the complete  _opposite_  meaning to the ones that Kiyotaka had told him, this  _had_ to be the guy Kiyotaka had been talking about!

Mondo stopped pretending to stare at a statue of one of the female gods and went over to stare at Kiyotaka instead… just so he’d be close enough to give this idiot an earful when he came out with his bullshit, obviously!

“Now…  _this_ guy, there’s actually a funny story about him!” The tour guide soon came over and started his spiel on Kiyotaka, “See, there’s a rumour that he can make your come your way… and all you’ve gotta do is give him a quick rub for luck!” He grinned like the dumbass he was, “Like  _this!”_

He quickly patted his hand on Kiyotaka’s ass, before starting to rub it up and down quickly a few times as an example, which was all it took for Mondo’s temper to explode…

“What the  _fuck_ do you think you’re  _doing!?”_  He yelled, barely noticing the shocked gasps from the tour group around him, “Can you not  _read?_ The signs say  _don’t fucking touch the artwork!”_

“Hey! What sort of amature do you think I am!?” The guide responded, “ _This_ statue doesn’t  _have_ a sign on him!”

“Uhh… he doesn’t?” Shit… had Kiyotaka knocked it off of the pedestal when he was jumping down one time or something? “Well… he  _should_ do! And even if he  _doesn’t,_ ya shouldn’t be telling people ta  _rub his ass!_ Haven’t you ever heard of erosion? Dumbasses doing shit like that is a big problem with statues!”

“Yeah, but  _this_ statue’s different from the others! I had a prediction about it!”

 _“What?_ What sort of stupid answer is ‘I had a prediction about it’!?” Mondo snapped at the guide.

“Well…”

“ _A-hem!”_ There was a stern cough as a man that Mondo barely managed to recognize as the owner of the museum, who he’d met briefly during his interview, arrived to see what the fuss was about, “What is going on here?”

Mondo took his chance to get Kiyotaka’s problem sorted out for good… “This idiot is telling the visitors to  _rub_  the statue!” He yelled.

“ _What!?”_ The owner scowled, “It  _clearly_ states on the sign that the statues aren’t to be touched!”

“But… there’s no sign…” The tour guide tried.

“Then that means we need to replace the sign, not encourage visitors to damage the artwork!” The owner scolded him…

“Geez, bummer man…” The guide sighed. “In that case, there’s nothing really interesting about this guy, so…” He herded the people away from Kiyotaka…

‘Nothing interesting’?  _Hah!_ If only he knew what Mondo did…

“Hmm… You’re Oowada, isn’t it?” The owner asked.

“Uhh… yes, sir!” Mondo admitted.

“I thought we put you on the night shift?”

“Y-yeah! Ya did! I’m just here as a visitor, before I go to bed for the night…”

“ _Really?”_ The man looked very surprised, “I seem to recall you saying you weren’t interested in art, during your interview…”

That wasn’t strictly true…what Mondo had  _actually_  said was that he ‘didn’t give two shits’ about art. But now… “Well, It’s starting to grow on me a bit….” He admitted.

“Good to hear!” The owner patted his shoulder cheerfully and headed off somewhere, blabbering on about how good the art must be to get someone like  _him_ interested in it…

Well… the place had  _one_ good piece, at least… One that had been worth staying up a couple of hours extra for…

Later that night, as he fed coins into the vending machine that would give him yet another dose of terrible coffee, Mondo wasn’t so sure  _anything_ would have been worth saying up those extra few hours… Especially not now he had  _another_ early morning appointment to stay up late for.

Still, at least Kiyotaka was in a happy mood tonight, talking about a fact about one of the statues in another room that one of the visitors had heard from a tour guide and then repeated in front of him. Mondo was just hoping it was one of the better tour guides, and not some made up stupidity from that big-haired idiot.

But whatever had caused Kiyotaka to talk so animatedly tonight, Mondo was thankful for it. Listening to him talk was  _almost_ enough to distract Mondo from the awful coffee… but not quite enough, as Mondo couldn’t resist the urge to scowl at the cheap plastic cup in his hand…

“… _Oh._ ” Kiyotaka suddenly stopped talking, and stared at Mondo’s face instead.

“What’s wrong?” Mondo asked him. Did he have something on his face or something?

“You… you’d prefer it if I stopped talking, wouldn’t you?” Kiyotaka asked, sadly.

“What? No! I don’t want you to stop talking! Why would you think that?” Mondo asked, worried he’d done something to upset the poor guy…

“You’re drinking coffee… I thought perhaps you were having trouble staying awake, because I was…  _boring_  you.” Kiyotaka explained, “Because all I have to talk about is art, and you… you aren’t  _interested_  in it… But there’s nothing else I can learn about here and…” Kiyotaka looked like he was on the verge of tears as he started to apologise for his lack of conversation topics… which he didn’t even  _need_ to!

“What!? No! That’s not it at all!” Mondo cried at him, “I mean… it’s not boring when  _you_ talk about it, cause… ‘cause I like listening to ya get all excited about it all… You  _make_ it interesting!” Mondo admitted, worried at how close he’d come to admitting he just flat-out liked  _Kiyotaka…_

“But then… why the coffee?”

“Oh, I gotta stay up another couple of hours tomorrow to take my bike for its MOT…”

“To… to do  _what?”_ Kiyotaka stared at him in confusion.

“Uhh… well… You know my bike…”

“The movement machine!” Kiyotaka smiled eagerly at understanding something about the world outside his museum.

“Yeah, well, ‘cause I drive it on the same roads as loads of other people, I have to take it in to a mechanic once a year, who’ll look over it and make sure it’s not got have any major problems that could be dangerous if they don’t get fixed…”

“But what if it does?”

“Well… then I’d have ta pay money I probably can’t afford ta get it fixed, or I wouldn’t be able to ride it on the roads, so then I’d be stuck trying to find a way to get anywhere…” Mondo grimaced at the thought… “But, I know enough about my bike to check it over myself, so with a bit of luck it’ll pass with flying colours!”

“A bit of…  _luck?”_ Kiyotaka asked.

“Well… yeah. I mean, even if I check it really carefully, there’s still a small chance the mechanic will notice something  _I_ didn’t… Which is why it’s still luck-based…” Mondo explained, taking another sip of the disgusting coffee…

“Hmm… I see.” …” Kiyotaka nodded and turned around, facing away from Mondo as he adjusted his towel, “Well! If it stops you from being unable to come here and talk to me anymore, then feel free to give me a ‘rub for luck’!”

“ _K-UUHHH!”_ Mondo almost choked on his coffee as Kiyotaka untied the towel to innocently offer Mondo the perfect chance to finally put his hands on the firm, perfectly chiseled ass he’d been secretly staring at for  _weeks…_

With  _any_ kind of luck, this statue was going to be the death of him!


	4. A Mastermind (Inconsequential MM!Ishimaru AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These were based on a comment by @Kiyotakaishimaru about a Mastermind Ishimaru AU where he A) locks everyone in the school for an hour a day for one week so they can study for their exams and B) Makes everyone eat a healthy breakfast. Plus a comment from @toralyzer about how it would be funny if it was told from the perspective of someone who really hates studying and talked about it just as dramatically as the killing game.

**Part 1:**

“Alright, listen up kiddos, ‘cause I’mma tell you a story ‘bout a man, a  _mastermind,_  hellbent on causing  _despair_ to everyone in the world. Y’see… most bad people go like that ‘cause of how they’re raised, but not  _this_ guy… this guy was  _born_ like this, and he wouldn’t rest until everyone  _else_ in the world felt the same way  _he_ did…  _all the time.”  
_

“Whassat? You think I’m being over-dramatic? Alright, lemme give you an example: Imagine this… A school, a  _prestigious_ school, the sorta place ya  _dream_ of getting into… Now, imagine it being turned into a  _prison:_ Sixteen kids, all forced together to appease this guy and bend ta his will. Not a single person allowed to leave until his twisted demands are met, and the whole time he makes dumb comments about them all bein’ together in harmony, and acts like you’re being a jerk for wanting to get  _out…”  
_

“Mondo, it was for  _one hour…”  
_

 _“_ An hour every  _fucking day!_ ”

“It was just the week before exams! And besides, it  _did_ help you pass mathematics, didn’t it?”

“I don’t  _care!_ It was still  _bullshit_ that ya didn’t give any of us a  _choice_ in the matter! And you’ve  _still_ never explained how you managed ta lock us all in the room from the inside!”

“Well… I just asked the headmaster to do it…  _he_ thought it was a reasonable request… Was it… was it really so bad? I mean… I was just trying to help you all, but you make me sound positively  _evil._..”

“Aww, c’mon Taka! Don’t  _cry…_ I was just tryin’ ta warn the kids what a  _hardass_ ya can be if they don’t learn quick enough…”

“They’re  _dogs_ Mondo, It’s not like I’d be allowed to take them into school anyway…”

“Well, ya might decide ta force them ta stay longer at obedience school if they ain’t doin’ well enough…”

“Well, of  _course_ I would! It would be irresponsible of me  _not_ to ensure they’re properly trained!”

“See, kids?  _EVIL!”  
_

 _“_ Well, if I’m so  _evil,_ I guess I won’t share these pancakes I made for breakfast then…”

“Wait, what? Ya made pancakes!? Awesome! Lemme at ‘em! … Aww, c’mon! You’re not  _serious_ ‘bout not sharing them, are ya? It was a  _joke!_ Alright! You were right, it  _did_ help me pass maths an’ shit!”

“…So I’m not a _‘mastermind’?”  
_

 _“_ Well, ya  _are…_ But you’re not an  _evil_ one!”

“Alright you flatterer… Have some pancakes… So long as you don’t go telling the puppies I’m evil again!”

“Alright… man’s promise… *Nom*”

 

**Part 2:**

“Ya know, kiddo, ya really oughta  _appreciate_ this food! A long time ago, people had ta  _sacrifice_ ta get good food like that back! Whassat? Ya wanna know the whole story? Alright then! Imagine this… a school, a prestigious school… the sorta place ya  _dream_ of getting into, where they give ya a fancy room and all the food ya can eat! And it’s all  _good_ food to, rows and rows of every delicious thing you can  _think_ of!”

“But then… imagine one morning ya wake up, and all that good stuff is  _gone!_ Just disappeared without a trace! Instead, all that’s left is dull, tasteless  _healthy_ stuff! Nothing that brings any joy, just the basic essentials to keep ya alive and workin’ like a  _slave_ for another day! All part of a plot by one man, a  _Mastermind…_ Just a normal kid, or so he’d seemed until the day we all woke up and felt the  _despair_  as we all realised one of out closest friends had turned  _evil,_ and he’d somehow risen ta power behind all our backs!”

“MONDO! You  _promised_ me you’d stop calling me  _evil!”_

“Technically, I only promised not ta call ya evil in front of the  _dogs_ …”

“But… but  _still…”_

“Aww… c’mon! I’m just kidding! And it’s not like he’s old enough ta understand it yet!”

“But… I mean, I barely even  _remember_ that happening, yet you act like it was the end of the world! Was is  _that_ bad? I just thought everyone would be better off if we had a good, healthy breakfast every morning!”

“Yeah, but  _your_  idea of a healthy breakfast is boiled rice and veggies  _every fuckin’ morning!”_

 _“_ There were different vegetables available! And there was grilled fish and poached eggs, as well as oatmeal and porridge, for those who prefer cereals… Everyone could have had a hearty, balanced breakfast each morning!”

“Yeah, and it would’ve been boring as  _hell!”_

“You could have at least  _tried_ it, before instantly marching en masse to the headmaster’s office… Which, incidentally, is hardly a  _‘sacrifice’!”_

“It fucking  _was!_ He made us all sit in the hall for  _two hours_  and listen to what options were available, before he let us vote on what we wanted! All ‘cause you somehow convinced him to change everything!”

 _“Hah!_ Mondo, do you want to know  _how_ I convinced Kirigiri to change the breakfast options to what  _I_  wanted?”

“Yeah? I bet this is one hell of a story…”

“Not really! All I did was attend the meeting  _he’d_  arranged, and had been encouraging us all to go to for  _weeks_ I might add, spent two hours listening to him describe the various options available, and voted on what I thought was best for everyone!”

“Ujh… but… what about everyone  _else’s_  votes?”

“There wasn’t anyone else  _there!_ Kirigiri enacted  _my_ opinion, because  _I_  was the only person who bothered to show up when he’d asked you all to!”

“But… all the staff were making a big deal of saying  _you’d_ done it!”

“I can only assume Kirigiri told them to, thinking you’d all be so enraged at the thought of  _me_ dictating your diets that you might actually bother to go  _talk to him_ to prevent it!  _And_  he was so sure that’s what you’d all do that he didn’t even bother to organise my suggestions for  _lunch!_ ”

“Oh…”

“And  _then_ every time he wanted to engage the students he’d tell everyone to come and participate ‘ _Or I’ll let Ishimaru decide again’!_ And then they’d all  _race_  to attend, as if they were expecting me to always pick the worst choice just to petty or mean, when all I’d wanted was everyone to have a good start to the day without the temptation of all that processed rubbish being there!”

“Aww… shit… c’mere… c’mon, Taka, don’t cry… We were just kids being dumbasses, ya know everyone who knew ya knew ya just  _cared_  for us…”

*sniff* “I just don’t understand why everyone hated my suggestions for breakfast so much…”

“Well… ’Cause ya took out all the fun stuff! Like the fruit loops!”

“Because those are  _terrible_ for you! They’re  _40%_   _sugar!_ You can’t eat those for breakfast every morning!”

“Yeah, I  _know_ that! But I’d still wanna have the choice ta eat them  _occasionally!_ Ya weren’t even letting us have  _that!”_

“But… but there were some students who ate things like that  _every_ day!”

“And that was their own damn fault! All the kids with any  _sense_ started eating sensibly after a few weeks of that crap… Hell, even little  _Daiya_  here’s decided he’d rather have  _actual_ fruit instead of Fruit Loops…”

“Well, of  _course_ he has! He’s a clever little boy, aren’t you Daiya…?”

“Sure… a little  _Mastermind,_ like his Father…”

“Mmmm… And a messy eater like his  _Daddy…”_

“Hey! I ain’t  _that_ bad! …But, okay, yeah I’ll go get the broom…”


	5. A Good Cause (Self-indulgent self-insert as a teacher at Hope's Peak)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (There was one of those character/scenario memes going around on tumblr based on your birthday, and mine was to throw a party with Celestia, which prompted me to imagine myself as a teacher throwing a charity bake sale at Hope's Peak, with some Ishimondo shenanigans thrown in, of course, so I wrote this as a birthday present to myself. 2750 words, told from MY POV.)
> 
> I have the students call me ‘Doctor’ because that is actually my title (I have a PhD in biochem) but also because I don’t want to reveal my surname, given my first name is already known.
> 
> Background info: This whole fic is based around the British charity Comic relief, which organises a fund-raising day every two years where lots of people wear red clown noses (called Red Nose Day) which they sell to raise funds (along with encouraging people to do other sponsorship stuff.)
> 
> As this has been going on for over 20 years, the noses have become a lot more sophisticated, and this years is a set of nine collectible ones that are sold in blind bags, including a dog.

“The tea has been completed, Mistress Celestia!” Yamada cheers from the back of the room as I struggle to put up bunting.

“The tea is ready, Doctor.” Ludenberg tells me, as if she did it all by herself… or at all.

To be fair to her, Yamada probably wouldn’t be helping set up this bake sale if she hadn’t badgered him into it, and she’d  _also_  somehow convinced the Ultimate Confectioner to provide most of the cakes (which make my attempt at Rocky Road look pitiful) But it’d still be nice if she was doing something other than nitpicking how the pair of us are arranging everything…

“Thanks, guys.” I finally get the bunting looking symmetrical… or at least symmetrical enough that I don’t think it’ll annoy anyone but myself. “I’ll start the coffee then…” Ludenberg tuts at that, “It’s a bake sale, we need coffee…” I sigh at her for what feels like the tenth time, “Trust me, I’ve organised enough of them…”

Although, I  _am_  wondering if what’s in high demand in the science department back home will still be wanted here in Hope’s Peak…

“You do this sort of thing often, Doctor?” Yamada asks, probably less out of curiosity and more to prevent Ludenberg and I having yet another argument about my not like black tea, despite being British.

“I do a few of them a year, usually, depending on which charities are fundraising…” I explain, as I set the coffee brewing. “Comic relief is only once every two years, for example.”

“Well, we’re lucky you happened to be here for this year, then!” Ludenberg comments.

“Y’know, I’ll be honest, I’m a little surprised! You don’t really seem like the charitable type…” I admit.

A violent darkness flashes across her face for a brief moment, but then disappears into a sunny smile… “Well, it’s for a good cause, isn’t it?” She asks, innocently.

Hah! She definitely has some ulterior motive for helping me set this up. Now, if only I could figure out what the heck it  _is..._

But before I get a chance to probe into the question, I’m interrupted by the stomping boots and loud booming voice of one of this class’  _loudest_ students… “Good Morning! And Happy Red Nose Day!” Ishimaru greets the room, apparently thinking Red Nose Day is something we actually  _celebrate_ , rather than just being a day organised by the charity to encourage people to raise money…  “It smells delicious in here! And I imagine it all  _looks_ nice as well! Ahahaha!”

The room stares at him in surprised silence… he  _has_ to imagine what it all looks like, because he’s wearing his usual disciplinary armband over his  _eyes…_

“Err… Is anyone actually  _in_ here?” He asked, worried by the silence, “I’m  _sure_ this is the right room…”

“Uhh… Yes, Ishimaru-dono, we’re here!” Yamada tells him.

“Yes… Ludenberg and I are here as well.” I clarify for him, “...Why are you  _blindfolded?”_

“Oh, yes! I didn’t tell you, did I? Kyoudai and I are both doing one of those ‘sponsored challenges’ to help raise money, and mine will be to spend the day blindfolded!” Ishimaru somehow manages to stride over to the front desk towards us. “And I must say, a lot of people have been very generous! S _ee?”_ Ishimaru triumphantly holds out a single piece of paper…

“That is a poster.” Ludenberg observes.

“Errr…” Ishimaru frowns, enough that we can see the peaks of his eyebrows droop, “I… was  _certain_ I put it on the bottom of my pile of posters last night… I suppose it’s possible I’ve hung it up by mistake, instead…”

“You mean to say you hung up the posters while blindfolded!?” Yamada cries, “You truly  _do_ know the hallways like the back of your hand!”

“Ahahaha… Well, it’s not been ideal…” Ishimaru sighs sadly, “It”s taken me longer than I expected, so I haven’t made it to the dining room for breakfast… I was hoping that Kyoudai would help lead me around once he saw what my challenge was, but I’ve not heard from him all morning… And to make matters worse, I’ve had someone pushing and prodding at me in silence all morning, and when I tried to ask everyone else who it was doing it so I could give them detention, everyone just laughed at me!”

“Taking the opportunity to ‘get their own back’ on you for your hall monitoring?” I suggest, bitterly. I  _like_ him, he’s a good student and stops everyone else giving me grief while I’m trying to teach… “But do you know what Oowada’s doing for his challenge? Maybe he’s not  _able_ to help you?”

“I don’t, actually. We decided to keep it a secret from each other, as a surprise!” Ishimaru explains. “I suppose he might have had the same idea as myself…”

“Or, he might have decided to do a sponsored sit-in in his room!” Ludenberg suggests.

“He had best  _not_  have! That would be completely detrimental to his studies!” Ishimaru scowls at the thought, “I just hope he’s not upset with me…”

“Why would he be?” Yamada asks.

“Ah… well, he and I were maybe getting a little…  _over-competitive_ about which of us will have raised the most money last night.” Ishimaru admits, shamefully, “And if I  _have_ accidentally hung up my sponsorship form, then he might think I’m being smug…”

“That still doesn’t seem like a reason to ignore you all morning…” I mutter… He’s walking around  _blind-folded_  for pity’s sake!

“You’re right! I’m probably being paranoid!” Ishiamru decides, digging through his bag and carefully pulling out various pieces of stationary and notebooks… is he still going to try and  _write_ like that? “He’s probably just a little slow getting up this morning!”

“I wouldn’t put it past him.” I sigh, “But how about a piece of flapjack or something, as you’ve missed breakfast?”

“Ah! Yes please!” Ishimaru starts rummaging around in his pockets, “How much is it?”

“…Y’know what? Given all the effort you’re putting into this, you can just  _have_ the piece of cake…” I grab a slice and put it on his desk in front of him.

 _“And_ a red nose!” Ludenberg adds, throwing one of the bags I had imported for today towards him, where it bounces off his chest onto the table.

“Oh! Yes, you mentioned this, didn’t you? That the charity sells red clowns noses to raise money! _”_  Ishimaru remembers, as his hands feel over the table for the  bag and he manages to fumble it open. “Why isn’t it perfectly spherical?” He asks, feeling over it with a frown.

“There’s a collection of nine different designs!” Yamada explains, “Or at least, nine  _common_ designs! There’s also a rare one as well, but from my research online, it appears most people are settling for buying a set of the common ones…”

“Why were you researching  _that?”_ I ask, suspiciously.

“Ah… I was just curious as to how hard it was to get a full set!” He answers, although his voice raises in pitch enough that I’m even  _more_ suspicious now… “And it didn’t seem like much, except the import costs were a bit pricey, so I thought if I was paying  _that_ much, I might as well buy a few cases and see if I got that rare one!”

“But what will you do with all the extra ones you bought?” Ishimaru asks.

“Well, I expect I’ll be able to sort them out into sets and sell them at a higher cost, thus recouping my original expenditure and also earning a little extra money that…err…” Yamada trails off, glancing between my own irritated look and the way Ishimaru’s jaw has clenched… “…that I can donate to the charity, of course!” He finishes with a pleading look at me.

“Good plan.” I tell him, in a tone that I  _hope_ gets the point across that I expect to actually  _see_ that donation at some point…

“Well… I suppose if it goes to the charity…” Ishimaru seems to decide he approves as he puts on his dog-themed red nose, “Have I got this on the right way?” He asks.

“Yes.” I tell him, “It’s a dog, if you’re curious.” I add, at which his face lights up. He’s probably thinking Oowada will like it.

“And speaking of which, we should all put  _ours_ on as well!” Ludenberg announces, to my slight chagrin. I mean, it’s a fun idea and all, but I always find wearing these things on my nose incredibly uncomfortable…

But it’s for charity, so I put on the wizard-themed nose I drew at random last night… and then look up to see Ludenberg wearing the exact same design and scowling at me. Oh goody,  _another_ stupid thing for her to be annoyed at me for…

She doesn’t say anything about it though, she just orders Yamada (who has apparently decided to wear the dragon themed nose) to make her a cup of tea and pass her a scone and jam as she sits at her desk.

…I wonder if her reason for helping to set this up is so she can have tea and cake during class? That seems a little too innocent for her though…

There’s no time for me to figure it out though, as the rest of class 78 start entering the room and giving me a polite morning greeting, most of them stopping to buy a cake, drink and one of the red noses Ludenberg is strangely insistent on peddling before sitting at their tables, after which I thank them and they sit at their desk.

The first exception is Kuwata, who enters the room with his finger on his lips in the classic ‘keep quiet guys’ position and sneaks up to Ishimaru’s desk, before sticking both middle fingers up at the hall monitor and waving them in front of his face…

_Oh for pity’s sake…_

“Detention for obscene hand gestures!” Ishimaru announces, before I get the chance to, and expertly pulls his pad of detention slips out of his pocket.

 _“Wha…!?_ How’d you know I was flipping the bird at you?” Kuwata cries.

“I didn’t, thank you for telling me.” Ishimaru smirks a little from under his blindfold, "I was just aware that  _someone_ was waving their hands in front of me in a mocking fashion.”

“Urg… geez, I wouldn’t have sponsored you if I’d known you’d  _still_ manage to gimme detentions!” Kuwata sighs, as Ishimaru somehow manages to write his name and misdeed in the correct parts of the slip.

“You  _do_ realise  _I’d_ have given you detention for that, even if  _he_ hadn’t?” I ask.

“Oh, yeah… Morning, Doc!” Kuwata grins sheepishly, as he seems to notice me for the first time, before going to buy some cake.

The next exception to the pattern is when Oowada arrives. He’s one of the last few students to enter the room, and gives me no morning greeting when he does so. Instead he awkwardly glances at both myself and Ishimaru, before silently heading over to buy a cake and red nose.

“Thank you, Oowada!”

“Oh! Kyoudai!” Ishimaru perks up at the name, “You were so quiet, I didn’t realise you were here!”

Oowada frowns slightly, but only looks down at the floor as he takes his seat.

“Kyoudai…?” The sides of Ishimaru’s mouth drop, “…are you upset with me?”

There’s no response to the question, aside from a slightly pained look in Oowada’s eyes…

“Have you lost your voice?” I ask him. That would have explained the unusual lack of communication from him, except he doesn’t try to nod either.

This is weird, and I’m not sure if I ought to be giving him a punishment or not. On the one hand, he’s refusing to answer any of my questions, which is rude… but he  _looks_ remorseful and he’s getting out his school work and preparing to take notes, so it’s not as if he intends to disrupt the class. I decide I’ll hold off on punishments… for now, at least.

The Ultimate Moral Compass is less forgiving though, and it’s probably not helped by his inability to see his friend’s expression.

“Kyoudai, if you continue to ignore the teacher, I’ll be forced to give you a detention for disrespect!” He snaps, tapping the pad of detention slips.

Oowada looks annoyed at that… but it’s not Ishimaru he’s glaring it, it’s almost everyone else in the room. The only other people he doesn’t look annoyed at are myself and the two who were helping me set up.

“I’m serious, Mondo!” Ishimaru gets more annoyed as Oowada continues to be silent, “I’m giving you a detention if you fail to respond in three…  _two_ … _”_

 _“What…?_ What’s going on in here!?” Ishimaru’s countdown is interrupted by a confused cry from Togami, as he and Fukawa are the last two students to enter the room.

“It’s a bake sale, to raise money for charity… a  _British_ charity.” Ludenberg smiles sweetly at him, “And would you like a collectible red nose? For the same reason, of course.”

“It’s… it’s for  _charity…”_ Togami looks dismayed at the knowledge. “…So of  _course_ Ishimaru is happy for us to be breaking dress code…” He mutters.

“Ah, what was that?” Ishimaru picks up on his name being mentioned, “Oh, yes! I mean, it’s alright for a one off event!”

 _“Tch!”_ Togami just scowls and pulls out an obscenely large amount of money and thrusts it at Ludenberg, before sitting in his chair irritably.

Ah, so  _that’s_ why she helped me set this up…

“You really ought to stop making bets against Celestia…” Kirigiri observes.

“Well, how was  _I_ supposed to know that there would be a charity event on today!” Togami asks angrily.

“Umm… but wasn’t it you who sponsored Mondo a hundred thousand yen to stay silent all day?” Fujisaki asks him.

 _HOW MUCH!?_ That’s about £700, isn’t it!? I usually only make  £250 from the whole sale…

“All he asked was how much I’d be willing to pay him to be silent for a day, he didn’t mention it was for a charity.” Togami shrugs.

“…But you still paid him a hundred thousand yen to do it?” I ask. I seem to be the only person who’s in the least bit surprised by this.

“Well, I didn’t just let him get away with being silent, otherwise he could still disrupt by business by passing notes around.” Togami seems to miss the point of my question, “So I told him I’d only give him the money if he avoided all forms of communication.”

 _“AH!_ You mean…  _That’s_ why Mondo’s not responding to me!?” Ishimaru cries, and Oowada visibly breaths a sigh of relief. “Why didn’t anyone  _tell_ me!?”

“…Were you really not aware of that?” Oogami asks him.

“No! We decided to keep our challenges a secret from each other!”

“So… that thing you guys did in the corridor  _wasn’t_  an act?” Naegi asks, and Oowada’s eyes roll to the ceiling.

“ _What_  thing in the corridor?” Ishimaru asks in response.

“Umm… you were putting all your posters on the walls back to front…” Maizono starts to explain, “So Mondo was trying to you to turn your stack of posters around, but you just kept scolding him, so in the end he was following along next to you, waiting for you to put each poster up and then having to unstick it and turn it the right way around.”

“You mean that’s why you were all laughing at me!?” Ishimaru looks upset, “You didn’t think to try and  _help!?”_

“Well, with you being blindfolded and him being silent… It was such a silly coincidence, we thought you guys must have planned it!” Asahina giggles, “Y’know, like you’d decided to do a comedy show to get more sponsors…? And then you’d carried it on in class…”

“When have I  _ever_ disrupted a class?” Ishimaru grumbles at his friends’ logic.

“Technically speaking, you have been for the last three minutes…” Ludenberg announces, pointing to the wall clock that display the fact that, yes, I should have started class three minutes.

“Ah, right. I’d best get on with that then.” I apologise, before Ishimaru gets a chance to. “But don’t think I’m letting you keep that money you won off Togami…” I add, to Ludenberg, and point to the donation bucket…

She flinches, and then sighs and pouts at me as she puts the money in the bucket.

“Oh, don’t be like that.” I tell her, “After all, it’s for a good cause!”

…Yeah. She’s gonna fucking  _hate_ me now…


	6. One of those guys (Post DR:IF Ishimaru birthday fic with Mondo and Taka working for Future Foundation)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written in a rush so I'd have something to post on Kiyotaka's birthday while I was on holiday last summer, and I then promptly forgot to ever post it on AO3, so here it is! 1500 words of fluff.

_11_ : _59pm_ …

Motherfucker! There was no way Mondo was even going to make it through all the security checks to get in the damn building, let alone all the way to the office before the clock ticked over to…

_12:00am, Tuesday, 1 st September, 2015._

…The day  _after_ Taka’s birthday…

God-fucking- _damnit!_  How the hell had Mondo let this happen!? He’d listened to his parents having screaming matches after his old man had rolled in drunk after midnight on his mother’s birthday, he’d seen those idiotic men in TV sitcoms who showed up on Christmas morning with nothing but some random shit they’d picked up at the gas store at 11pm the night before, and he’d  _sworn_ to himself that he wouldn’t be that sort of shitty partner when he’d grow up! After all, how hard was it to remember the most important person in your life’s  _birthday!?_

And yet, here he was, with nothing to give his fiancé but a gas store rose and the cheaply-made school diary that had made him remember the day in the first place. And,  _sure,_ his excuses were a lot better than the ones his old man or those dunderheads on TV had been able to give. The end of the fucking  _world_ had happened, for a start. He’d had his memory erased and been told to murder 14 of his surviving classmates, Kiyotaka included, and probably only survived  _that_ because one person had  _luckily_ got their memory back and told them what was up. Then they’d all joined up with Future Foundation and Kiyotaka had stayed at their headquarters working his ass off for Division 1 while Mondo had been sent out to build up recently reclaimed areas for Division 12, so they’d been apart for a couple of months. And this diary in his hand was the first thing he’d seen that mentioned the date for  _weeks._

But… still. Even with all those excuses, he was still gonna be  _that guy. That guy_ who turned up too late with too little to impress his partner. And  _his_ partner could be hard enough to impress as it was…

…But what was done was done. Mondo had fucked up. The least he could do was go and apologise, shitty gift looted from an old gas store that he’d found on his mad dash across the country in hand, and beg Kiyotaka to give him a chance to make up for it.

He got plenty of odd looks as he passed through security. A downside of being a Hope’s Peak student, he supposed. Everyone knowing who you were meant they could also instantly tell when you’d fucked up and forgotten your boyfriend’s birthday. But a period of time that was both too soon and not soon enough later, Mondo was stood in front of Kiyotaka’s office/apartment door, looking at the whiteboard that listed all the appointments he’d had that day and hoping that at least one of  _those_ people had done something nice for him, because Gods knew he fucking deserved it with all the different, boring weekly meetings and cross-division organisational shit he’d somehow ended up involved in.

Well, only one way to find out… And that was knocking on Taka’s door.

There was barely a fraction of time that passed before the door slowly started to swing open and Mondo could see his fiancé wearing his usual white…

 _Pajamas…_ because Mondo had just called on him and probably woken him up  _after midnight!_

“…I’m sorry, but is there any chance this could wai… _MONDO!?”_ Taka’s expression went from begrudging and tired to alert shock the second he realised it was  _him_ at the door.

“Hey… I’m sorry…”

 _“What are you DOING here!?_ Aren’t you supposed to be near the front lines…  _OH GODS! Are we doing THAT badly!? The front line is HERE!?”_

The hell…? Why was Taka so shocked to see him? It was his  _birthday…_ or had been! Shouldn’t he have been pissed off that Mondo was so late? After all he’d have had to have spent all the day wondering why his own boyfriend hadn’t even called to wish him a happy birthday… at least he would have spent his time off doing that… if he’d  _had_ any time off yesterday… which on second thoughts, the schedule posted on his door hadn’t mentioned…

“…You don’t know what day it is, do you?”

“Of  _course_  I know what day it is!” Taka snapped indignantly, “It’s Mon… well, it  _was_ Monday, technically it’s  _Tuesday_ now, but as I’ve not been to sleep yet…”

“But… you don’t know the  _date,_ do you?”

“Ah… I’ll admit I can’t remember it off the top of my head, but I  _can_ check in my diary!” He disappeared for a moment and came back brandishing a small black book with ‘2015’ on the cover. “Let’s see… today, or yesterday if you insist, was Monday, August Thirty-Fiiirrr…”

“…Hope ya had a Happy Birthday.” Mondo sighed, holding out the rose.

“…I completely forgot.” Kiyotaka gently took the rose off of him, smiling at it with tears beginning to form in his eyes as if it was some priceless jewel and not a piece of crap Mondo had panic-stolen. “I thought you were in Osaka…Did you really come all the way here  _just_ for my birthday?”

“’Course I did! It was bad enough I forgot about it until the new school diaries came out!” Mondo pointed out, “I wasn’t gonna just  _call_ you after that!”

“You have a  _school_ diary? So it starts in September and ends in August?” Kiyotaka looked ecstatically hopeful.

“Yeah…?” Mondo shrugged, getting it out of his pocket, “…You want it?”

“Yes! Please!” Kiyotaka pretty much snatched it out of his hand and looked through it excitedly, “I know I’m not in school anymore, but I’m finding it odd that all the months are in the wrong place in my current diary! That’s probably why I forgot my birthday was coming up…”

…Because his birthday was usually when his old diary ended? But his other one wouldn’t end for another four months…

“…This is wonderful! I really appreciate you making the effort to come and see me…” Kiyotaka sniffed happily and wiped the tears from his eyes.

Heh… maybe Mondo hadn’t fucked up as much as he thought he had…

 _“However,_ you did so without proper authorisation, and therefore have wasted precious Future Foundation resources! As such, I am afraid that I will have to report this to Division Three who will look into this further and may, depending on exactly  _how_ much fuel you used getting here, deduct the cost from your salary  _or_ proceed to further disciplinary procedures…”

 _Motherfucker!_ Was he  _really_ gonna report Mondo for a fucking  _romantic gesture!?_ “Hang on one fucking minute! I ain’t even  _used_ Future Foundation’s fuel!”

“Then… how did you  _get_ here? Don’t tell me you  _walked_ all the way…?”

“No, I found an abandoned gas station and filled up there.” Which had been pretty lucky really, because he’d rushed out on his bike without planning the route, so if that hadn’t been there he  _would_ have ended up walking! “I’ll just fill my tank back up on the way back and I’ll have the same amount of fuel as I left with!”

“…You found a  _working_   _gas station!?”_ Taka stared at him in awe.

“Well, I had to go and turn on the backup power generator while I was using it, but otherwise it worked fine…” Mondo shrugged, although Taka still didn’t raise his lower jaw back up. “Is that important?”

“Is that important…!?” Taka repeated his question sarcastically, “I’ve just had a four hour cross-division meeting about finding a sensible location for us to try and  _build_ a new gas station on the way to your  _assigned_ location! If you can just  _show_ me an intact one that’s  _already there,_ then that’ll save us no end of trouble and we can consider building one up towards the north side instead!”

“…So you’ll have less meetings to go to?” Was all Mondo got from that.

“Hmm…  _no,_ we’ll probably end up having a bunch of meetings about the northern gas station, so probably not…” Kiyotaka sighed. “But it  _does_ mean I can forgive you going AWOL from your post…! So long as you agree to stay here overnight, have a shower and then drive me out to this gas station tomorrow morning… or  _this_ morning, technically…” Kiyotaka gestured for him to get inside the apartment, pausing to put the diary and crappy rose down next to the pile with his keys and wallet before heading further into the place, “…Sorting this out probably takes precedence over my other plans for tomor…  _today._ ”

So in other words, he wanted Mondo to stay the night and take him out for a picnic to celebrate his birthday tomorrow. Well, this evening had gone from disaster to  _dating…_ and Mondo couldn’t help but push his luck…

“…And maybe as we’re together for the first time in months, we can have a little  _fun_ in the morning,  _eyyy_ …?”

Kiyotaka paused, then half-turned to face him, one overly-large eyebrow quirked up flirtatiously at him… “Technically, it already  _is_ morning…”


	7. Private Investigators AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the first in a series of alternative career AUs I wrote one week, after I saw a list of the top twenty career AU tags people use here on AO3 and decided to turn it into a prompts list. (Funnily enough I offered to write any ships/characters from Dangan Ronpa and Ace Attorney, and of the seven prompts I got, Four were pure Ishimondo, and two involved Ishimondo in some way or another.)  
> This is about 2000 words of Ishimondo being rival private investigators.

“And feel free to call me if you need any help whatsoever…” Kiyotaka reminded his latest client, once again, as he lead her out of the door to his office.

 _“*sniff*_ Thank you…” She replied one last time, and finally left, gripping the various photographs of, and chat logs between, her husband and her best friend tightly as she went…

Kiyotaka at least managed to wait until he’d actually shut the door before letting out a weary sigh. He’d started working as a private investigator in the hopes of getting access to information that would clear his grandfather’s name. Not because he’d wanted to prove that roughly ninety percent of the male populace were cheating philanderers…

But he shouldn’t dwell on such things. He needed to make sure he was  _especially_ ready for this next stakeout… He’d had a warning that the man he was tracking might get violent, so he either needed to be particularly careful not to get spotted, or ready to defend himself if he  _was._

…Neither of which he felt capable of at this moment, overworked and lacking on sleep as he was. He was  _deeply_ regretting not telling this client to head across to the Crazy Diamond investigation agency across the street, as he usually did when a case seemed like it would be too dangerous for Kiyotaka to handle by himself… But he’d done that  _twice_ this week already! And Mondo Oowada, the man running thatplace, had plentyof his  _own_ cases to work on, if the number of men Kiyotaka saw coming in and out of his office was any indication.

Not that it was any surprise to Kiyotaka that he had so many clients… Even looking through the windows across the street, he could see that the owner was exactly the sort of rugged, hard-boiled, maybe-a- _little_ -rough-around-edges chap you’d  _want_ handling a potentially risky case- or any case at  _all,_ for that matter! The sort who could handle himself if things went south. The sort who actually knew his way around the darker parts of the city. The sort who was handsome enough to star in a film noir…

“AH!” Kiyotaka slapped himself awake and swallowed a mouthful of disgusting lukewarm coffee in the hopes of staying that way.  _That_  line of thought resulted in him drifting off to sleep all too often, and he certainly couldn’t afford to do that right now!

Perhaps he wouldn’t be so overwhelmed with work if he didn’t keep wasting time oogling his rival PI! But no matter how many times he told himself that, he still kept finding his eyes idly drifting over to the man’s office. And he was starting to worry that Oowada had noticed him doing it. There’d been a few times this week that he’d gone to look out the window, and seen the other PI stood at the window, glaring at him from across the street.

Oowada wasn’t glaring at him right now, though. He didn’t seem to be in his office at all. He was probably out working on a case, maybe even one of the cases Kiyotaka had foisted off on him. Or perhaps…

 _“Alright, Ishimaru, what the FUCK is your DEAL!?”_ …perhaps he’d just slammed the door to Kiyotaka’s office open and was angrily striding across the room to confront him.

“I… err…” …Was this actually happening, or had Kiyotaka failed to keep himself awake, after all? Either way he should probably respond to the question, but… “I’m sorry, I don’t understand…”

“Don’t play dumb with me!” Oowada slammed both his hands on the top of Kiyotaka’s desk, leaning his face down, close enough that Kiyotaka could spot the patch of grazed skin underneath the slightly-bruised eye. “I just got done with those cases you sent over to me!”

 _…Oh no._ He’d got  _hurt…_ Because of  _Kiyotaka…_  “I… I’m  _so_  sorry! Really! I thought you’d be able to handle those easily!” Kiyotaka apologised, not that that was going to do anything to help… “L-let me get my first-aid kit!”

“…What are you…?” Kiyotaka barely heard the beginning of Oowada’s nonplussed reaction, before he was dragging the box of medical supplies off of its normal place on the shelf and over to the man he’d inadvertently injured.

“Here… I’ve got sterile wipes for your cheek and there should be some arnica for the eye…” Kiyotaka told him, dropping the wipes on top of Oowada’s hands and digging through the box until he was able to pull out the tube of cream and hold it up for him. Not that it seemed like anything  _near_ enough to make this up to him… “…And… and please  _hit_  me, if it helps…!”

“Wha…? No! I ain’t  _hitting_ ya! Just… calm the fuck  _down!”_ Oowada grabbed him by the wrist tightly, instead of taking the cream. “Especially not over a fucking  _shiner!_ This shit’s  _nothing!”_

“Ah…” Kiyotaka paused, his mind momentarily unable to focus on anything except for the warm pressure tantalisingly close to his hand. “But… If the injury wasn’t a problem, then  _why…?”_

“What? You thought I wouldn’t  _notice!?”_ Oowada spat, “I know what kind of shit you take on, so how the fuck did you  _think_ I’d react when I get clients saying they came over ‘cause  _you_ told ‘em ya weren’t  _able_ to help ‘em, only for them to have the most piss-easy cases I’ve ever worked!?”

“You…” He thought those cases were  _easy?_ Admittedly, on the mental side of things, they  _had_ been, but…

“…Was that your idea of a fuckin’  _joke!?_ To rub it in my  _face_ that you get so many clients, that ya can afford to dump the boring shit on  _me!?”_ Oowada was too angry to give him the time to think of a response, “Or is it just some smug  _pity,_ ‘cause I’m behind on rent!? ‘Cause if  _that’s_ the case then you can take your free cases and…”

What…? Had Kiyotaka understood that right…? “You… You don’t get enough clients to make  _rent?”_ His sudden question stopped Oowada’s rapid-fire speech for a moment, “But… I see  _lots_ of people going into your office!”

“Tch… that’s just my gang…” Oowada tutted, “Or people who take one  _look_ at me and decide they’d rather have  _you_ handle their problem…”

…Why would they do  _that?_ Even with the injuries on his face, Oowada still looked handsome… But rather than say that out loud, Kiyotaka decided to ask more about… “Your  _gang…?”_

“Yeah, y’know… buncha dudes who help me find shit, or stalk people, or back me up if shit’s getting violent…” Oowada shrugged, “Though I guess  _you_ can probably pay‘em more than a six-pack of beer for their trouble, and call ‘em something  _fancy_  like… I dunno, ‘consultants’ or ‘informants’ or whatever…”

“Well… I  _do_ have a consultant who I hire for some of the more difficult computer work…” Kiyotaka explained, although he did only pay Fujisaki as a last resort… “But… other than that, I work by myself. Which is the  _only_ reason I’ve been sending people over to you, if they’ve had particularly dangerous-sounding requests that I wouldn’t be safe completing by myself!”

“Wait… you seriously do  _all_ that shit by yourself!?” Oowada gaped at him, “I always figured you’d have a team of people here…”

“Ah… no. I tried hiring assistants in the past, but… I never really managed to build up a rapport with any of them, and they’d usually leave before they made up for the amount of time I’d spend training them…” Kiyotaka admitted, feeling somewhat…  _incompetent_ to be admitting this to someone who’d just told him he had a small army of people willing to help him in exchange for  _beer._ “In the end I decided it would be more efficient to just work harder on the cases myself.”

“…Huh. That sucks…” Oowada let go of his wrist, to his disappointment… as least until the hand moved up to his face and titled his chin upwards… “Is that why ya look like ya ain’t slept in three months?”

Was it really  _that_ bad…? He  _had_ slept! They might not exactly be peaceful,  _full_ nights of sleep, but… oh, who was he kidding! “…Yes.”

“Well… why didn’tcha send more people over to  _me_ , then? Or hell, even just tell ‘em no! ” Oowada let go of his face and glanced around the office, “I mean… I’d have thought ya wouldn’t need  _that_ many cases ta pay for one person and  _this_  place… ”

“I couldn’t leave people to deal with their problems alone!” Kiyotaka insisted, “And I thought you already had a lot of cases to deal with yourself, so I felt guilty about adding to that…”

 _“Pfft!_  If it had been  _that_ much of a problem, I’d have sent ‘em over to Saihara’s joint…” Oowada snorted, “But… how’s about a deal… My place is going under, and you’ve got too much work… so how’s about we work together? You can talk to clients and I can do the dirty work, and we’ll split the profits fifty-fifty…”

“Ah…”  _Him,_ work with Oowada!? In the same  _room!?_ He actually pinched himself to make sure that this wasn’t just a fantastic dream… He’d  _longed_ for the chance to get to interact with the man, and how he was going get to see him up close and speak to him every single  _day!?_ It… it… “…It wouldn’t work.” He realised.

“Wha…? Why the hell  _not!?”_ Oowada shouted, even more angry than when he’d first entered the room. “I just told you I have a bunch of guys I can get to help out, and you  _know_ I can deal with shit, else you wouldn’t be sending people to me in the first place! So why the  _fuck_ don’tcha wanna work with me!?”

“It… it’s not that I  _don’t_ want to work with you!” Kiyotaka assured him, “It’s… that I want to work with you for the wrong reasons…”

“…What the hell does  _that_ mean!?”

Ergh… this was  _not_ the way he’d ever wanted to confess a crush… “I… I find you attractive.”

“You… you  _what…?”_  Oowada just blinked at him.

“…I’m surprised you hadn’t noticed it… I’ve been staring at you through the window for… well, I’m not sure how long, really. A long time. Too long.” Kiyotaka confessed, shamefully. “You’re enough of a distraction through the window on the other side of the street… I don’t know if I’d be able to focus on work ever again if you were working in the same  _office_ as me.”

“…Shit, you ain’t kidding, are ya?” Oowada sounded… surprised, although not nearly as aggravated as Kiyotaka had expected him to.

“Why would I  _joke_  about something like that!?”

“I dunno, just…” His eyes seemed to look all around Kiyotaka’s face, rather than  _at_ it, “Yer cute… or ya  _would_ be if you’d actually  _sleep_ a bit!”

 _Him!?_ Cute!? “…Now  _that’s_ surely a joke!”

“I ain’t fucking joking!” Oowada snapped, then sighed regretfully, “Sorry, I just… I ain’t used ta people  _liking_ me… And I dunno if it’d work out if we were working and… trying  _other_ stuff together, but… well, seems ta me like it’s worth trying out, at least. I mean… ain’t got anything left ta lose… So…  _deal?_ ”

Kiyotaka looked down at the hand being held out to him, the heat of a blush rising in his cheeks. Oowada… or  _Mondo,_ even actually wanted to try…  _dating_ him? Or at least, working together with him and seeing if they got along well enough  _to_ date…?

“Deal!” Kiyotaka shook the hand tightly, moments before the alarm he’d set to warn him to set out on his next assignment rang… “Ah! And it’s time for our first case together! We’re going to be heading over to the docks, it’s about a forty-minute walk…”

“Or a ten-minute ride on my bike.” Mondo tightened the grip on his hand to stop his attempt to walk out of the door. “You can spend thirty minutes giving me the info, then go to bed and lemme deal with it.”

“I…!” Stubborn pride and a desire to impress Mondo almost made Kiyotaka reject his offer, but then his tired common sense won over. “…Thank you. I can see this is going to work very well for me…”

He just hoped it would prove to work just as well for Mondo… and that this wouldn’t be yet another case of someone coming into the office only to get tired of him and leave… Only time would tell…


	8. Ishimondo + Klapollo Lawyers AU/ Ace Attorney Crossover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the aforementioned career AU prompts, @colourmygalaxies asked for Ishimondo as lawyers or a Klapollo (Ace Attorney) Bookstore AU (with Apollo as the owner and Klavier as a customer), and I had an idea on how to incorporate both into one AU: (I hadn’t played Ace Attorney in ages when writing this though, so Apollo and Klavier might be a bit OOC)  
> 1500 words of good loud boys being oblivious. (And also a blink and you'll miss it reference to Phoenix Wright Vs Prof. Layton, because why not shove every game series I love into one big AU?)

**“WELCOME!”** Apollo Justice gave an enthusiastic greeting to one of his more reliable customers.

 **“GOOD AFTERNOON!”** Defence attorney Kiyotaka Ishimaru replied back with just as much vigour, as he looked around the, much  _emptier_ than usual, bookshelves that filled the small building.  **“You look like you’ve…”**

Kiyotaka and Apollo both cringed as the former was interrupted by a series of bangs from the other side of the wall to his right, followed up by irritating grumbling about how the owner had bought the place thinking a bookstore would be  _quiet…_

“Ah…  _SORRY…! Again!”_ Kiyotaka apologised, then coughed in embarrassment and carried on with his previous thought at a more reasonable volume, “You look like you’ve had good business today, Apollo…! Which is unfortunate, because I’d been hoping to pick up that book on English heritage you had on display, in case I get picked for the Legal League of Attorneys’ exchange program…”

Apollo knew which one he meant, he’d put it out near the front specifically to tempt the lawyer. But, given he knew who’d purchased it… “I wouldn’t worry about it! I’m pretty sure it’ll be sold back to me soon enough…”

“Really!? It was quite a  _large_  book; I can’t imagine  _anyone_  managing to read  _all_  of it… Oh! Excuse…  _me…!?”_  Kiyotaka was quite sceptical, until the door opened and a young woman came into the shop, carrying the exact book they’d just been talking about and moving past him to put it down on the counter.

“Hey… so, like, I  _know_  you said no refunds, and _I_  saidthat was fine ‘cause I was super into English stuff,  _buuuut_ …”

“I’ll buy it back for 95% of the price you bought it for.” Apollo cut her off.

“…Yeah, alright…” The woman sighed, as Apollo scanned the book and proceeded to hand over the money for it.

But he decided it was nicer to wait until she’d left before turning and offering it in Kiyotaka’s direction… “This is the one you were talking about, right?”

“Ah…  _yes!”_ Kiyotaka nodded in surprise, quickly getting his wallet out, as if worried that it might be bought again if he didn’t hurry. “So… I suppose that…  _ability_ of yours let you know she was lying when she said she wanted it!”

“No…” Apollo had a knack for being able to focus on the tells people gave when they were lying, but that wasn’t what had let him know that girl was coming back… “I knew because she only bought the book to try and impress Klavier…”

“Klavier…?”

“Klavier Gavin, the prosecutor. He’s another lawyer I see in here a lot…” Although, not one who tended to actually  _buy_ much… He mostly just came in to talk about books with Apollo. “I’m guessing you know him from work…”

“Actually, I’ve seen him around, but I’ve never spoken to him properly.” Kiyotaka admitted, quickly becoming irritable. “Every time I’m  _supposed_ to face him in court, he ends up dropping the case, and Prosecutor  _Oowada_ takes over for him!”

“Oowada…?” Apollo didn’t  _think_ he’d met that one, but judging from how annoyed Kiyotaka looked to have faced him, “…He give you a lot trouble in court?”

“No… it’s not  _that…_ Actually, I have to admit he does a good job of making sure the police build a good case and pick the right suspect, rather than pick a defendant based on their own biases, so the cases are usually very cut-and-dried.” Kiyotaka corrected him, only slightly surprised that the oddly-perceptive shopkeeper had picked up on his bitterness over the situation. “It’s just… He’s  _loud,_ looks like a  _gangster_ with a loaf of  _bread_ on his head _,_ and his court etiquette is  _terrible!_  There have been times when he’s yelled ‘Shut the…  _eff_ up!’ at me, instead of ‘Objection!’  _plus_ he’s started bringing a  _dog_ into the courtroom as well! And to top it all off,  _now_ he’s decided to  _mock_ me by asking if I want to look over the evidence with him, as if I can’t build a good case by myself!”

“Ah,  _that_ guy…” Now he had the description, Apollo could remember the guy coming in with Klavier one time, and lying about the pile of dog-care books he was buying being for a friend. “I can see why you wouldn’t be his biggest fan…”

 _“That’s_ putting it lightly!” Kiyotaka was still in the mood to vent, “Honestly, if the chief prosecutor wasn’t already taken, I’d have assumed he got his job based on his  _looks!”_

“…You think he’s good looking?” Apollo asked. He hadn’t seemed…  _that_ good looking. Not if you were comparing him to Klavier Gavin, anyway…

“Wha… err…  _No!_  I mean, yes, he  _is!_ But… it’s not like I find him attractive _myself!_ I just mean, logically speaking, that he’s an attractive man!” Kiyotaka insisted, although Apollo could spot multiple tells popping up without even needing to focus on him. “But, ah, anyway, you were trying to talk about Prosecutor  _Gavin…?”_

Apollo only showed the smallest hint of a smirk at the lawyer’s unsubtle change of topic, as he carried on explaining what had happened. “Well, Klavier’s the lead guitarist in a rock band, as well as being a prosecutor…”

“Ah… so  _that’s_  why he dresses like that?” Kiyotaka realised, “I was starting to think the prosecutor’s office had some kind of  _rule_  against wearing ordinary clothing…”

 _‘Says the man wearing a blue suit with knee-high black boots…’_ Apollo thought to himself, before carrying on. “Uhh… Yeah… anyway, his band makes him pretty popular with a lot of women, and he got spotted coming in here, so before I knew it the shop was  _full_ of women trying to get his attention by spending money on stuff… Not that I think he’d actually be impressed with anything in  _here…_ ”

“But… you have a  _great_ selection here, even if you aren’t able to control what stock you get…” Kiyotaka insisted, “Why  _wouldn’t_ he be impressed?”

“Because he collects  _rare_  books…! At least, I  _think_ he does? There was one time he asked me what my favourite book was, and then a couple of weeks later he came in with a really nice first-edition hardback version of it…” Apollo explained, “But he seemed really disappointed that I didn’t have the money to buy it off him, so I’m not sure…”

“Hmm… he doesn’t  _strike_ me as a book-lover, but one shouldn’t judge other’s by appearances!” Kiyotaka decided, “Perhaps I’ll ask him, assuming I ever actually face him in court…”

“Ah… speaking of you working with him…” Apollo suddenly remembered something he needed to do, “You don’t happen to know his phone number, do you…? He left some chocolates I recommended to him here.”

“Well… I  _do_ know it, but couldn’t you just wait until the next time he visits the shop…?” Kiyotaka asked, uncomfortable with handing out someone  _else’s_ number.

“I  _could,_ but I’m pretty sure he was planning to take them on a date.” Apollo explained, “He’s drawn a heart with ‘From Klavier’ on it…”

“Hmm… well in  _that_ case…” Kiyotaka got out his address book…

* * *

 

_Meanwhile, at the Prosecutor’s office…_

“So…?” Klavier was idly practising guitar riffs when Mondo returned from the courtroom, holding a sleeping white fluffy dog against his chest with one arm. “How did it go with Herr Eyebrows?”

“Tch… don’t fucking  _ask…”_ Mondo scowled, despondently slumping down on a chair, dog still in hand. “My plan to ask if he wanted to look over the evidence together so we could hang out just pissed him off, and I’m starting to think taking Charlie to court is doing the same… Even though he’s totally  _fine_ with Blackquill and his  _bird…!_ Just ‘cause that jerk’s got a fancy _sword…”_

“Well, perhaps you should try being more direct…” Klavier suggested,  _“Flirt_  with him a little more, ja?”

 _“Pfft,_ yeah, and how’s  _that_ helping you with horn-hair?” Mondo snarked in response.

“Ah… not as well as I’d hoped…” Klavier admitted, “The Fräuleins stopped me from speaking with him today… but I  _did_ leave him a box of his favourite chocolates with my name on them…”

“Well, here’s hoping he doesn’t think you were trying to sell him  _those_ too…!” Mondo laughed, while Klavier checked his phone.

“Ah! Seems like he like them so much, he’s asked around for my number! Listen: ‘Hello Klavier. This is Apollo, from the bookshop. I got your number from one of the other attorneys.’” Klavier started to read the text smugly, only to suddenly grimace as he continued, “…’It seems like in all the chaos earlier you left the box of chocolates for your date here by  _accident_ …”

 _“Bwahahaha…!”_ Mondo laughed so hard the dog was startled awake, and licked the side of his face before squirming out of his arms to play on the floor, “They’re never gonna figure out we’re trying ta hit on ‘em, are they?”

“Ja… I’m starting to think that could be the case…” Klavier sighed, “…Maybe I should write him a song…?”

“I guess… He can’t miss the point  _there,_ can he?” Mondo agreed, “And come to think of it, there’s nothing stopping  _me_ from getting a sword like  _Blackquill’s_ , is there…?”


	9. Ishimondo model AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Carrying on with the career AU prompts, someone asked for them as 'Models, fashion designers and photographers' and I came up with this idea of them both working as part-time models. Maybe a little on the NSFW side (they're modelling underwear, and genitalia are discussed) and just under 4000 words.

“Uhh… hey! My name’s Mondo Oowada…” Mondo prepared to say a sentence he’d never expected to utter… “I’m here for a modelling gig?”

The receptionist checked a list, then looked him up and down,  _not_ bursting into laughter at the sight of him, like he’d been half-expecting… “And this is your first time, isn’t it?” She confirmed, “I’ll show you to your dressing room, then. There’s another model there who should be able to tell you what you need to know.”

“Thanks.” Mondo agreed, and followed her to a plain looking door, which she gestured to before leaving him alone with it.

So… there was another model in there? Probably a guy who’d actually done this before, if that chick was trusting him to show Mondo the ropes. So what the hell was  _he_ gonna be like, then…?

…Well, only way to find out was to open the door and say ‘hi’…

_“H…hhhhhuuuuuhhhh…!?”_

…He hadn’t thought about  _what_ kind of guy he’d expect to see on the other side of the door. But even if he’d thought about it for a million years, he never would have guessed he’d have ended up staring at the short, spiky black hair, red eyes and rigid posture of Kiyotaka…  _“…ISHIMARU!?”_

…Sure, he knew Ishimaru and he had both ended up living in the same general area… Several people from his old class had told him so and,  _hell_ , if Makoto hadn’t told Mondo what gym the guy was going to, he might have ended up running into him  _there_ … but a guy like  _him, MODELLING!?_ If someone had told Mondo it was gonna happen, he’d have laughed and called them crazy!

But even though he was wearing a normal business suit instead of that dumb white uniform with the knee-high black boots, it was still _definitely_  Ishimaru _,_ one of  _several_ guys he’d gone to Hope’s Peak with over two years ago, and  _easily_ the worst of the bunch! The guy who spent four years bitching at him every time he swore, or put his feet up on the desks, or rode his bike without a helmet. The guy who handed him detention slips if he so much as ran a meter in the halls, or was late to class by a minute. The guy who insisted over and over that he ought to be doing better on his tests…

“…Have we met?” …The guy who clearly didn’t have a damn clue who he was right now…

“…Yeah, we have. Had different hair back then.” Not that Mondo could blame him… The agency who’d told him to come here had also told him to lose his signature pomp  _and_  the guyliner he usually put on…

“Oh… err…” Ishimaru’s eyes flicked over his face, failing to recognise him at all, until they finally moved down and saw Mondo’s jacket, the same one he’d been wearing since his brother’s death… “… _OOWADA!?”_

“Yeah.”

“Ah… w-well… I… I wasn’t expecting to see  _you_ here!” For once in their lives, he and Ishimaru agreed on something. “I mean… you’re a model too!?”

“I’m a ‘whatever the hell gets me  _money’!”_ Mondo explained, testily.  _“Usually_ fixing and building shit… but a friend of mine introduced me to an agent a while ago, and he offered me this job, which seemed like easy money for not much work…”

 _“Huh…_ You…  _build_ things…?” Ishimaru’s head was tilting so far to the side it looked like it might fall off his head altogether, “Well! That’s better than I  _expected!_ I’d always assumed you’d end up in  _jail!_ Ahahaha!”

 _Yeah…_ Mondo  _bet_ he fucking would have! Smug prick always thought the worst of him! But whatever, even  _being_ here had shown him that he was full of shit. And besides, Mondo had a much more pressing concern…

“And what the hell are  _you_ doing here!? Last  _I_ heard, you were studying law at some fancy college!”

“Ah… yes! I am!” Ishimaru nodded matter-of-factly, “But… well… ‘fancy’ colleges are expensive, and my scholarship only goes so far… But there was a modelling agent at the campus who took a great interest in me during my first year, so I’ve been topping up my income with the odd job here and there, while I carry on with my studies.”

“Huh…” Well… that actually sounded pretty boring, to be honest. It was more or less the same reason Mondo was here… “So, what are we modelling, anyway?”

“You don’t  _know!?”_ Urgh, did he have to act like Mondo was a fucking idiot, just ‘cause he didn’t bother reading all the crap they sent? “Don’t you check before taking these jobs? What if it’s something you’re not  _willing_ to wear!?”

“I don’t give a shit what I wear, I just need the cash!” Ishimaru gave him that old look of his… the same one he wore whenever he caught Mondo smoking, or goofing off of class, or goofing off of class to go smoke… “But I’m guessing  _you’re_ some fucking picky  _ass_  about it…”

“I’m not ‘ _picky’!_ I just have my reputation to consider, so I  _can’t_ be seen in anything inappropriate!” He snapped, like it wasn’t the same fucking thing, “But other than that, I’ll model  _lots_ of outfits! Suits, scrubs, workout clothes… anything, really! So long as it has a  _practical_  use, I’m happy to be seen in it!”

“But how about jeans and a T-shirt?” Mondo asked, and wasn’t in the least bit surprised when the ex-hall monitor practically recoiled in disgust. This  _was_ the guy who’d worn his school uniform every day for the whole four years Mondo had had the displeasure of knowing him. “Figured as much. So what kind of poncy uniform  _are_  we gonna be wearing, then?”

Ishimaru took a deep breath, holding it while glaring at him through half-closed eyes, until he decided to drop the matter and just answer his actual question for once… “…We’re modelling underwear.”

 _What!? ISHIMARU!?_ Modelling  _underwear…!?_ With not a hint of shame on his face about it…?

 _“…Bahahahaha…!”_  He was so used to his memory of Ishimaru being a joyless SOB that it took Mondo a moment to work it out _…_ “…Ahahaha! Never thought I’d see the day  _you_ told a joke!”

“Wha… What are you talking about?” Ishimaru was tilting his head again, in the same way he always did back whenever someone said something funny at school, “…I wasn’t making a joke, we  _are_ going to be modelling underwear.”

“…You’re  _serious!?”_ …Of  _course_ he was fucking serious! Two years on and the guy  _still_ didn’t have a sense of humour! “What the fuck happened to you not modelling inappropriate shit!?”

“There’s nothing inappropriate about  _underwear!_ Everyone has to wear it! And I made sure beforehand that they’re practical, tasteful briefs, so why would I have any problem with it!?”

“Gee, I dunno, ‘cause we’ll be standing around wearing nothing  _but_ them, maybe!?”

“So!? Nakedness is nothing to be ashamed of!” Ishimaru insisted  _way_ too loudly, “In fact, it’s only when men aren’t hiding behind clothing that they can  _truly_ form bonds with one another, without allowing preconceptions to hinder their judge….”

Holy  _fuck_ he wouldn’t have pegged Ishimaru as being this much of a nudist weirdo back in school! But  _now_ it seemed like the guy was never gonna shut up about it unless Mondo stopped him… “Hey… so where  _are_ these briefs we’ve gotta wear?”

“Ah… yes, it is about time for us to start getting prepared…” He finally stopped talking and picked up two boxes next to him, looking between them, “Hmm…  _This_ must be your pack…”

“Thanks.” Mondo took the box he was holding out off of him and started ripping it open, while Ishimaru started taking his clothes off and folding them carefully.

“Ah… but if you’re going to want to smoke, I suggest you do it  _before_ changing!” Ishimaru suggested, while taking his pants off like it was nothing… Guess he thought this was just ‘male bonding’ or whatever, given his casual tone…

“Eh… thanks, but I quit smoking.” Mondo told him, turning to face away from Ishimaru so he could change underwear with  _some_ kind of modesty. He’d been too broke too many times to justify  _not_ quitting, in the end…

“…You  _did…?”_ Urgh… but that probably just meant Ishimaru was gonna lord it over him that he’d ended up doing what  _he’d_  been  _trying_ to make him do for four whole years… “Well, congratulations! That’s great to hear!”

“Uhh…  _thanks.”_ Huh… That was all he had to say? No ‘well you should have done it sooner!’ or  _‘Hah!_ I told you so!’?

“Your welcome!” Ishimaru replied cheerfully, before they finished changing in silence and Mondo looked at himself in the mirror…

…This was kinda weird. He looked alright, he guessed… but the briefs were pretty tight compared to what he was used to wearing, even though they  _were_ the sized he’d given the agent. Still, it wasn’t like he looked  _lacking_ in them… although maybe he could do with straightening his cock up a bit…

“Oh, as it’s your first time, do you need a ring?” Ishimaru suddenly asked outta nowhere, while he had his hands right down his pants.

“Hell no! I ain’t wearing  _jewellery!”_ Mondo snapped, rushing to finish up what he was doing, so it wouldn’t be weird to have Ishimaru talking at him next time…

“No… not  _that_  kind of ring… I mean one of  _these!”_ Mondo got everything settled and turned around to see Ishimaru, who had a surprisingly well-toned chest, holding out a strap of plastic that looked like a cheap bracelet. “It prevents varicoceles, but we’re expected to use them to enhance the appearance of our…  _groinal_ regions!”

…Mondo could tell, given the way Ishimaru’s upper arm was moving, that he was gesturing at his dick as he said this. Not that there was any way Mondo was actually gonna look at it.  _Or_ fuck about trying to work out how the  _hell_ that tiny bit of plastic was meant to make his own one look bigger, as if he was some tiny shrimp down there!

“…I’ll pass. I’m a big enough man on my own, thanks.” Mondo told him, turning back to check he actually looked alright after his rush job… Yeah… he looked pretty good!

 _“Guh-uhhg!”_ Ishimaru spluttered indignantly, “I… It’s not like I’m…  _below_ averageeither! It’s standard practise for  _everyone_ in this business!”

“Oh,  _sure_ , I bet that’swhat they told  _you_ …” Mondo smirked at him. They probably just told him that so he wouldn’t burst into tears like a little kid…

“Yes, it  _is_ what they told me!” Ishimaru carried on, “You’ll see! As soon as we get out there, the photographer’s going to tell you to come straight back in here and put one on!”

“Well, let’s find out! ‘Cause I’m ready to go, if  _you’re_  finished making yourself look like a  _real_  man…”

“I was  _born_ looking like a real man!” Ishimaru snapped at him, then stomped, much quieter than Mondo always remembered, now that he was barefoot, through the door and towards… wherever they were going.

Mondo followed him, eyes unconsciously trailing downwards as they walked, at least until they wandered below the waistband of the item they were modelling, which made him realise what the fuck he was doing and brought them back up to look at the back of Ishimaru’s spiky black hair instead…

He was  _not_ going to think about why he’d just looked down there.  _Or_ about the fact that he now knew  _why_ that agent had taken an interest in the nerd…

Soon enough, they got to a door, which Ishimaru paused in front of… “You know, it’ll look better for you if you’re slightly late, then if you go in  _underprepared…”_

He was bringing that shit up  _again!?_ “Just open the door!”

“Well, you can’t say I didn’t warn you…” The smug asshole muttered as he went through…

Well, at least the room was  _warm,_ even if it there was nothing in here but a green screen, a bunch of lights that were  _way_ too bright and a dude with a camera…

Presumably  _that_ was the guy who was gonna be deciding who was manly-looking enough to be taking part in this job! “Yo! We looking good enough for you…?”

He could  _hear_ the quiet, self-assured snort Ishimaru let out as the guy looked him over, but decided to ignore it and focus on standing up tall and confidently…

“…Yeah, you’re go to go…”  _Hah!_ Mondo couldn’t help but glance to the side with a gloating smirk as Ishimaru silently  _fumed_ at the declaration… “A little on the small size, but it’ll do…”

_…A little on the SMALL size…!?_

“HAH! I  _told_ you, you needed the ring!” Ishimaru declared loudly.

“Fuck  _you_ , he just said I’m  _fine_  it, didn’t he!?”

“Perhaps, but you’d have looked better _with_  it!”

“SO!? He didn’t tell me to fuck off back to the changing room like  _you_ said he would, so I don’t  _need_ the thing!”

“That’s all well and good if you’re intending to  _slack off_ and only put the minimal amount of effort into this, but  _personally_ I’d want to look the best I possibly  _could!”_

“Hah, and you’re willing to  _cheat_ to do it!? So much for Mr. ‘Moral Compass’!”

“It’s not  _CHEATING_ it’s a standard industry practice, and…!”

 _“Woah,_ guys!” The photographer suddenly cut in, “We’re planning to have a nice,  _friendly_ shoot today, you know…? If that’s going to be a problem for you two, we’ll have to get some  _other_ models in…”

…Urg… did that mean they were gonna be making one of those pictures with two guys hanging out in their pants with their arms around each other…? Like  _hell_ either him or  _Ishimaru_ was gonna be able to stand doing  _tha…_

“Ah… it’s no problem whatsoever!” Ishimaru suddenly switched from angry scowl to bright smile, “At least, not for a proper  _professional_ model…”

 _Oh…_ so  _that_ was his game! Act like it was all  _Mondo’s_ fault if the two of them couldn’t get on, and nothing to do with  _him_  being a neurotic pain in the ass… Well, if  _that_ was what was going on, Mondo’d just have to play  _nice_  long enough to show this guy what Ishimaru was  _actually_  like…

“Hah, yeah man, don’t you worry! That was just banter, you know?” Mondo laughed, stepping up to Ishimaru’s side and slinging an arm around his shoulders like he was an old friend, “Me and this guy go  _way_ back!”

 _“D-do_ we…?”  _Heh_ … He could  _feel_ Ishimaru tensing up underneath his arm. This was the guy who used to scream ‘PDA’ if people so much as brushed  _fingers_ against each other in the hall! There was no way he’d keep a straight face with Mondo gently pulling him closer to his chest… “You… weren’t exactly my most  _polite_ classmate…”

“Yeah, I know…” Heck, it was a hell of an understatement, even. And it hadn’t  _all_ been Ishimaru’s fault, if he was being honest with himself. “I wasn’t really in the best place back then, and your attitude always managed to rub me the wrong way… even  _if_  you were just trying to help…”

“Is… is that so…?” Ishimaru froze in place as he tried to think of a way around  _that_ without looking like as ass… But then suddenly he stood up on tip toes and slung his  _own_ arm around Mondo’s shoulders, bursting into fake laughter as he did it _. “Ahahaha!_  Well, I’ll admit I was never the best at reading people’s reactions, and I  _did_ judge you rather unfairly, on account of your  _old_ appearance! But I’m glad you saw past that, in the end!”

 _Hah!_ This stubborn asshole admitting he’d been  _wrong_ about Mondo for all those years!? He must be  _desperate_  to make Mondo look like the bad guy, here! But Mondo wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction! If this was a competition to see who could act friendlier, then Mondo was going to be the friendliest person Ishimaru had ever  _met…!_

“…That right there, that was awesome!” Geez… Half an hour into this photoshoot and Mondo was running out of ways to compliment the guy! He was just starting to spout whatever crazy shit entered his brain, like… “I should get that as a tattoo!”

“Ah!  _No,_  you can’t do  _that!”_   _Yes! Finally_ , he’d said something that’d made Ishimaru insult hi… “Your body is a temple, given to you by your loving parents! You can’t desecrate it like  _that!”_

“…Ah…  _yeah!_ I guess you’re right…” … _Fuck!_ How he’d managed to make his nerdy hatred of tats sound so  _nice!?_ Not to mention keep up this act for so long! If Mondo didn’t know any better, he’d have thought Kiyotaka was having the time of his life, laughing at Mondo’s dumb jokes and stories about stupid people he’d had to fix stuff for… Hell, there’d been a couple of times he’d almost forgot that he was having a competition with Ishimaru at all!

“And that’s enough photos!” …Case in point, he’d actually managed to forget  _that_  guy had been there taking pictures of them in their underwear this whole time. “That was a great shoot. Guess I shouldn’t have doubted the pair of you!”

“AH! I… I was having so much fun I forgot you were there!” Ishimaru made one last attempt at winning. “But, I’m so glad we met up like this, Oowada!”

“Yeah, me to!” But the  _hell_ was Mondo gonna let him win! He’d come up with something there was no  _way_ Ishimaru would agree to! “We should do it again sometime! We both live nearby, right? What’s your number?”

 _Hah…_ There was no way he’d give Mondo his phone number… He’d probably be scared that Mondo’d give it to a drug dealer or something stupid like that! So let’s see how he’d get out of  _that_ request while still seeming like a perfectly nice guy…

“Yes! Absolutely! I’ll give you my card once we’re dressed!”  _…FUCK!_ Of  _course_ he was one of those guys who always carried around those dumb little cards with his number printed on them!

Well, that was all the ideas he’d had. Guess he wasn’t outright winning this competition after all… But at least he was getting paid for his time, and more importantly, he hadn’t let  _Ishimaru_ win either!

“Alright, well let’s go get dressed then!” Mondo suggested, using the arm he  _still_ had over the guy’s shoulders to lead him back to the dressing room, while Ishimaru made a show of eagerly following along.

Until they actually got back  _into_ the dressing room, anyway.  _Then_ he broke away from Mondo’s arm and dashed over to his clothes so fast that it left Mondo feeling a chill down his side from the loss of warmth next to him, and he hurried to get back into his own clothes to make up for it, like Ishimaru seemed to be doing…

So… that was it then? No… trash talk or anything? They were just gonna change in utter silence? Guess Ishimaru had just accepted the whole thing was just a draw in the end and decided to cut his losses by pretending it hadn’t happened…

Or, so Mondo thought, until the guy suddenly spoke up in a voice so soft he wouldn’t have thought it was him if he hadn’t been the only other guy in the room…

“I… I really  _am_ glad we met up like this…” Wait…  _what!?_ “At college… There’s nothing like our homeroom class back at Hope’s Peak, where we always saw the same people every day, so… I don’t really have a group I can talk to regularly… and I don’t have time to keep up with work  _and_ go to clubs either…” So he didn’t have any  _friends_  at his new place…? “Ah… not that it’s a big problem! I still talk to Makoto and some of the others by phone… But I don’t want to bother them  _too_ much… and they’re too far away to meet up outside of the holidays, so… Today’s the first time in  _months_ that I got to spend time with someone in  _person!”_

… _Shit._ He’d believed every word Mondo had  _said,_ hadn’t he…? As far as  _he_ was concerned, there’d been _no_  competition whatsoever! Just Mondo admitting he’d been wrong to be as much of a dick to the guy as he  _had_ been… which was probably true, but he hadn’t been meaning to end up as Kiyotaka’s new best friend, even if it  _had_ been kinda fun hanging out with the guy for a while…

“Ah… sorry! I’m going on, aren’t I? I’m sure you’re busy, so let me give you my number and then we can get going!” Now Ishimaru was heading over to him, holding out a card…

“Uhh…”  _Shit! Now_ what!? Did he just take the card like he hadn’t been lying this whole time? Or come clean and tell Kiyotaka he’d been playing him for a fool? Did he actually have the heart to  _do_ that to the guy…?

“…Wait. You… you didn’t  _mean_  any of that before…  _did_  you…?” …Turned out he didn’t  _have_ to. The look on his face must have given it away, and now  _Ishimaru’s_ smile had dropped and tears were starting to spill from his eyes… “You… you were just… being friendly because they  _told_ you to…”

 _Fuck…_ What could he say? It was  _true,_ but he hadn’t meant to do  _this…_

“Ah… Ahahaha… I’m sorry.” Ishimaru gulped as he put the card back in his pocket and turned away… “I’ll just… I’ll leave you alone then…”

 _“NO!”_  Before he realised what he was doing, Mondo had lunged forward to stop him…

“Err… I’m wrong?” Ishimaru looked between Mondo’s hand, which was now gripping his arm, and his face… “But then… why were you so surprised that I tried to give you my number…?”

“Ah…” Shit, he  _couldn’t_  tell the truth  _now…_ And he didn’t really  _want_ to either… “I wasn’t surprised about  _that_ … I just… didn’t expect ya ta come out with all that  _other_ stuff, ya know? I sorta just figured you’d be doing fine at college…”

 _“Oh!_  Ah… That’s  _kind_  of you… but I didn’t mean to make you worry!” Ishimaru laughed, wiping away some of the tears with a relieved smile, “Forget I ever said anything! I… I don’t even know why I decided to tell you that…”

…’Cause he was lonely as hell. And all his old friends probably knew it to.  _That’s_  why Makoto had told him what gym Kiyotaka used, when he’d been talking about joining one… He’d been thinking Mondo might try and meet up with him, not be an ass and  _avoid_  the whole place, even though it was clearly the best gym in the city…

“Well… I’m thinking of switching gyms… Which one do  _you_  use?” Mondo asked, like he didn’t know already. “Maybe we can be workout buddies…”

“Ah…  _yes!_ It’s just a short walk from here, I can show it to you!” Ishimaru almost jumped with joy, “And there’s an offer where I can take a friend in for free, we could even go and do a workout  _now,_ if you wanted!”

Right after work? Geez… he was still as obsessive as ever… or just desperate to stretch out their time together…

But… it was pretty cute how excited he was just to hang out with Mondo, so… “Sure, lead the way!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Next week's story will be a day early and will take a break from these career AUs, because I have written something new for Mondo's birthday!


	10. Mondo's Birthday 2018

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written for Mondo's birthday (hence the update being a day earlier than usual), although he’s not actually IN it all that much, as it focuses on Kiyotaka trying to prepare for it after his original idea for a present becomes redundant! About 3500 words. Domestic AU where Mondo and Kiyotaka are older, well on their way to their chosen professions, and have been living together for a few years.

“You’re sure you have everything? Keys, wallet, phone, extra cash in case your wallet gets stolen…?” Kiyotaka checked, as Mondo was busy getting out his protective motorcycling gear out of the hall closet.

“Taka, I’m gonna be out with the fucking  _Crazy Diamonds! And_ the guys from school!” Mondo reminded him in exasperation, “No one’s gonna mug us, and there’s gonna be plenty of sensible people like Chi and Makoto who’ll make sure I’m not being a dumbass and losing my stuff!”

“I know that! But it still never hurts to be prepared!” Kiyotaka insisted.

“Alright…” Mondo sighed and dug into his pockets to show Kiyotaka the aforementioned items… “Keys, wallet, phone, emergency cash…  _Happy now?”_

 _“Yes!_ Thank you!” Kiyotaka agreed, deciding to pull at Mondo’s upper arm, so he could get enough height to give Mondo a kiss on the cheek.

“Y’know, if you’re  _that_ worried about me going out for birthday drinks, you could come  _with_ me…” Mondo pointed out.

“I would, but spending the night in a  _karaoke_   _bar_ with all of your  _noisiest_ friends as they get progressively drunker sounds like my idea of hell on Earth!” Kiyotaka reminded  _him._ They wouldn’t even have  _Sayaka_ with them to at least make some of the singing  _good,_ because Mondo had insisted on making a  _men’s_  night out… “But I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time! I just want to reduce the chance of anything ruining your night out as much as humanly possible!”

“Hahaha… Love you to, you  _dork…”_ Mondo chuckled, leaning down for a quick kiss on the lips, before he started putting his leathers on…

“Hey, though…” Mondo hesitated halfway through. “You  _sure_  you’re alright with me spending the  _whole_  night out, without you…?”

“Of course… why  _wouldn’t_  I be? As long you make sure you’ve got enough reliable designated drivers for the whole group, that is!” Kiyotaka reminded him sternly, which caused Mondo to chuckle and roll his eyes, which Kiyotaka chose to ignore… “You deserve to have some time with your friends around your birthday! I’ll have you all to myself for most of tomorrow, after all…”

And, not that he was going to say it out loud, Mondo being gone for the night would mean he’d have plenty of time to clean, decorate the house and finalise the preparations for Mondo’s birthday surprise…

Not that there was much  _too_ organise… A stomach-churningly sweet cake had been ordered, ready to pick up this afternoon, and Mondo had insisted on having pizza ordered for his birthday treat, so there was no reason for Kiyotaka to prepare any food, beyond buying some sweet popcorn and cotton candy to eat while they watched the movie Mondo had picked out. In terms of decorations, there were several ‘Happy Birthday’ banners and packs of balloons with a pump for them craftily hidden amongst his official work documents. And he’d also made sure that they had a good stock of everything they might need up in the bedroom…

The only thing Kiyotaka had left to worry about actually  _buying_ was Mondo’s present, and he already had the plan for that! Mondo had been dropping hints about a set of tools for making intricate carvings that was going to be on sale this week for  _months_ now! He’d even made sure to show Kiyotaka what the box looked like in the catalogue! All he’d have to do was drive to the hardware store and pick it up! It would all be a  _perfect_ birthday for his boyfriend!

“Yeah… I’m looking forward to  _that!_  Thanks, hon!” Mondo finished putting on his gear, and leaned in to give Kiyotaka a long kiss goodbye that almost made him want to change his mind, take Mondo’s gear back  _off_ , and make him stay at home for the whole  _two_ days…!

But that wouldn’t be fair to Mondo  _or_ his friends, so when the doorbell rang he reluctantly let Mondo go answer it, then waved cheerfully at the rest of the Crazy Diamonds and the several male students from Hope’s Peak that had also been invited.

“Hey guys, great to see you all again!” Mondo grinned ecstatically as he headed out of the door and into the crowd, exchanging handshakes and hugs with those he hadn’t seen in a long time, “Everyone ready for one hell of a night out…!?”

Kiyotaka resisted the urge to yell at them not to cause trouble, as the group all agreed loudly and started to head off back to the road, where a mass of motorbikes and a few cars were parked on the road… and fortunately  _not_ on any of the grass verges. That was good. The last thing he wanted was the neighbours coming round to complain while he was busy getting ready for Mondo’s birthday…

“Oh, hey, Mondo!” Kiyotaka’s thoughts were interrupted by the Ultimate Mechanic suddenly making his way to the front of the group, carrying a large box, “Before we go, here’s the stuff you asked me to get! Managed to get the tradesman discount on it and everything…!”

“Seriously!? Awesome! Thanks, Kaz!” Mondo took the box off of him eagerly, “And I can still write this off as a deduction…?”

“Yep!”

 _“Great!”_ Mondo exclaimed, turning back towards the house, “Hey, Taka? Do you mind putting these in the workshop for me?”

“Of course not!” Kiyotaka took a hold of the box… the very  _familiar looking_ box… “Ah… What…? Is this…?”

“It’s those tools I was telling you about! For carvings and stuff!” Mondo explained, seemingly too excited to notice the blood draining from Kiyotaka’s face… “Now I’ll be able to start making some  _really_ cool looking shit!”

“Ah… that’s wonderful…” Kiyotaka spluttered, turning away from Mondo, so his boyfriend wouldn’t notice that he was beginning to panic, “I-I’ll go put it away now! Y-you all have a good time tonight!”

“Thanks… but are you sure you’re alright carrying that…?” Mondo said, sounding like he was coming up from behind Kiyotaka, to help him carry the box down the hall…

“Yes! It’s fine! Just a bit of an awkward shape, that’s all!” Kiyotaka told him, “I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Alright… See you tomorrow, babe!” Mondo gave him one last goodbye before shutting the door behind him…

 _AAARRGGGHHH! NOW what was he going to do!?_ He’d thought Mondo had been dropping hints for his  _birthday,_ not just discussing a future  _business investment_ he’d been planning to make! Now Kiyotaka had absolutely  _no idea_ what to get Mondo for his  _birthday,_ which was  _tomorrow!_ And all of Mondo’s friends were with him right  _now!_ It wasn’t like he could even ring one of them up and ask them if they had any idea of what Mondo  _wanted_ for his birthday!

Not that he should  _have_ to do that anyway! He’d been dating Mondo for  _years,_ he ought to know what sort of things his boyfriend would like! And he  _did…_ It was just that they were either motorcycle- or woodwork-related things that Mondo understood better than himself, or simple things like movies or food that they generally bought as and when he felt like having them, meaning that if Mondo wanted it, he either already  _had_ it, or would be better off buying for himself! He didn’t even need any more  _clothes_  at the moment, because Kiyotaka had recently bought him some newer items…

Still… Kiyotaka had the entire  _day_ to sort this out! Surely, there must be  _something_ out there that Mondo would like, but didn’t already own! And Kiyotaka needed to drive into town to pick up Mondo’s cake anyway! He could have a look around the shops while he was there, and find something to buy Mondo… even if it was just something small like a recent action movie DVD, so that Kiyotaka could give him  _something_ nice for his birthday, and then offer to buy something more expensive once he’d explained his gaff over the tool set! That plan should work…!

It was now 5pm, most of the shops in town were closing for the day, and that plan…  _hadn’t_ worked.

Perhaps he’d been setting his expectations too high, but he’d not been able to find  _anything_ that he thought Mondo would like or need! At least, nothing that was worthy of being wrapped up as a present. Even the recently released DVDs hadn’t been of any help. There was only  _one_ that he thought Mondo would like, and it was the one they’d already bought  _specifically_ so they could watch it together, tomorrow!

So now he was just walking along the mostly-deserted streets, back to where he’d parked, trying to remind himself that Mondo wasn’t the type to place too much emphasis on presents anyway, so long as they could spend time together…

It wasn’t really working. He could  _tell_ himself that over and over as much as he’d like, but it was doing nothing to stop the underlying feeling that he was an idiot who should have planned better and that Mondo probably deserved a  _much_ better boyfriend than himself and…

_“Arf?”, “Bark?”, “Woof…?”_

And.. _. Odd_ … why could he hear  _dogs_  barking…? There wasn’t anyone in sight, and he was  _pretty_ sure that the local animal control wouldn’t be letting a bunch of strays be roaming the streets in the middle of the day! And if they  _were,_ then it was going to be  _his_ responsibility as local councillor to  _do_ something about it!

So to start with, he’d best check for the source of the barks… well… more like  _whines,_ really. Wherever these dogs were, they didn’t sound too happy about it!

Not that Kiyotaka could blame them, once he pinpointed the messy alleyway that the noise was coming from. And especially not after he found the small, tattered cardboard box containing the group of four light-coloured, fluffy puppies, none of which had any collars or identification… and  _all_ of which looked up at him hopefully as he drew close…

 _Abandoned…_ As if he hadn’t made sure the local shelters had adequate funding! Honestly, how much trouble would it have been for these people to ring up and organise a proper home for them, if they couldn’t provide it themselves!

Well, it didn’t really matter, now… He’d never know who they were, and they’d already done it. All he could do now was make sure the puppies went to a good home!But the shelter would probably be shut by now… He’d have to take them to the car, drive them to…  _somewhere_ that sold pet food, probably the big supermarket, take them home for the night and then ring up the shelter tomorrow morning to organise a place for them…

And  _then_ he’d have to apologise to Mondo for failing to get a present for him…  _That_ was certainly going to put a dampner on tomor…

_“…Ark!?”, “Hrrrrmmm!”_

Oh!  _Right!_ The  _puppies!_ He needed to be thinking about  _them_ , right now! Not to mention all the decorations back at home… He didn’t have  _time_ for berating himself anymore…!

The next morning, Kiyotaka got up, checked the large dog bed (which had been on sale, so he’d figured he might as well buy it for last night and then donate it to the shelter) to make sure all four puppies were still asleep in it, and that none of them had managed to get at any of the balloons or banners he’d hung around the room for Mondo to see when he entered.

Hanging those all up with four excitable puppies running around the room had been fun… and he wasn’t even being sarcastic about that! Alright, it had been a bit of a bother with them trying to play tug of war with the banner and he’d ended up having to wash the floor after one of them popped a balloon and it scared several of the others into wetting themselves… but he’d been planning to wash the carpet anyway, and it hardly mattered that there were a few teethmarks on one end of one of the banners… at least, Mondo probably wouldn’t notice it  _or_ care about it, even if it  _did_ irritate Kiyotaka slightly…

But it had probably been worth it! After all, rushing around after the puppies last night had managed to distract him from thinking about the fact that  _he hadn’t bought his boyfriend a present in time for his birthday_ long enough for him to organise everything and get to sleep at a reasonable time…

…He almost wished the puppies were awake. Not that he’d be mean enough to wake them up when they all looked so peaceful sleeping together. But it  _might_ help him stop  _dreading_ the moment when Mondo came back through the front door…

…Again, not that he thought for a second that Mondo would be anything other than completely understanding when Kiyotaka explained his mistake! He  _knew_ Mondo would probably just find it funny and be happy to tell Kiyotaka about something he  _did_ want! It wasn’t like Mondo expected him to be psychic, and know what he wanted without asking!  _He_ certainly never knew what to buy  _Kiyotaka_ without being told in advance!

But regardless, he still felt guilty and disappointed with himself that there wasn’t a brightly-wrapped box to put out in the lounge amongst all the balloons and banners, like he had done in all the previous years, when he’d organised himself  _properly…_

But there really was  _no_  point going over that again and again! There were  _other_ things he ought to be worrying about! Like calling the local shelter about the puppies! And making sure there was food ready for them when they woke up! Not to mention getting  _himself_ some food for breakfast as well, seeing as Mondo was planning to eat at his friend’s house this morning…

He organised the food first, eating his breakfast while looking up the phone number for the shelter, and then saw Mondo’s cake on the kitchen counter he’d left it on last night, and remembered that he’d been planning to tidy the kitchen table up and lay it out nicely for him to see when they came in here to eat the pizza. And by the time  _that_ was all ready, it had just gone 9am, and he headed back into the lounge to ring the shelter…

Looking at the puppies starting to wake up, with their cute little yawns and yips of joy as they saw he’d refilled the cheap food bowls he’d picked up yesterday, he almost didn’t  _want_ to make the call. Last night had been  _fun!_ But owning pets wasn’t  _all_ fun and games, and he just didn’t have the  _time_ to take care of  _four_ dogs properly! And it would be selfish of him to make  _Mondo_ help out, just because he’d happened to grown attached to them. So he steeled his resolve and dialled the number for the closest animal shelter…

Which proceeded to put him on hold. Well, that slightly irritating, but Mondo wasn’t due back  _quite_ yet, so he had some spare time…

Or so he thought, until he heard a distinctive roar of a motorbike, and looked outside to see Mondo climbing off of the back of Yujimaru’s motorcycle, giving the man a hug goodbye, and then heading up the driveway towards the front door, at which point Kiyotaka also headed towards the door to let him in…

“Happy Birthday!” Kiyotaka greeted him.

“Thanks, man… But what happened to you not having shit to do today!?” Mondo complained mockingly… at least Kiyotaka  _hoped_ it was mockingly, about him having a phone held up to his ear.

“Sorry… something happened last night, and I thought I’d have time to deal with it this morning before you arrived, but then they put me on hold!” Kiyotaka explained,  _“And_ you’re earlier than I expected!”

“Yeah… Well, Mich and I ended up waking up early, and I’d rather spend time with  _you_ than hang around his place just for the sake of it…” Mondo told him, shutting the door behind him and pulling Kiyotaka into his arms… “C’mere…”

Kiyotaka had little time to argue before Mondo’s lips were on his, and his boyfriend was tilting his head to try and introduce his tongue into the mix…

“Hmmm… Wait…!” Kiyotaka would have liked nothing more than to reciprocate Mondo’s affection, but… “I need to be able to  _speak_  when I finally get through!”

“Alright, alright…” Mondo sighed, giving him one last peck on the cheek and then releasing him. “If I can’t play with  _you,_  I guess I’ll go open my present, instead…!”

“Oh!” Kiyotaka gulped at Mondo’s joke, “Err…  _about_ that… You see…”

_“Hello, Blue Cross Pet Shelter, this is Sharon speaking. How may I help you?”_

“Ah! Yes! Hello!” Kiyotaka spoke into the phone, which Mondo took as his cue to quietly head into the lounge… “My name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru, and…”

_“Holy shit you bought me PUPPIES!?”_

_“Errrrrr…”_ Kiyotaka’s brain stalled at the sound of Mondo’s joyous exclamation from the other room, and all he could think to do was open the lounge door, whereupon he saw Mondo kneeling at the side of the dog bed, staring in wonderment as the small group slowly started making their way towards him, sniffing curiously at his hands…

“You’re all so fucking  _fluffy…”_ Mondo carried on, as the puppies started to let him pet them all and pick them up to get a better look at them, only looking away from them once he noticed Kiyotaka staring at him from the doorway… “This is the  _best_ present I’ve ever  _had!”_

 _“Hello? Sir? Are you still there…?”_ The woman on the phone was trying to get his attention… but how could  _possibly_ start organising to give the dogs away when Mondo was looking at him like  _that…!?_

“…Err… My apologies, it seems I’ve made a mistake! Sorry to bother you!” Kiyotaka gave a rushed explanation down the phone, before hanging it up and turning to Mondo… “Well… I’m glad you like them! I… I wasn’t sure what to get you…”

“Ahaha! Well, you sure as hell made the right choice! These guys are  _great!”_ Mondo laughed as the one he was currently holding started licking his face, “And to think Kaz thought you’d been planning to get me those tools he brought along yesterday…!”

 _“Ahahaha… Really!?_ Is  _that_ what he thought…?” Kiyotaka made himself laugh, to hide his embarrassment at having done  _exactly_ that…

Although it hadn’t worked very well, if the sudden look of concern Mondo was giving him was any indication…

“…You  _had_ been planning to get me the tool set.” Mondo stated, so surely that Kiyotaka could tell there was no point trying to deny it. “…So you  _panic-bought_ a bunch of  _puppies!?_ Taka, I’ve  _told_ you, this shit ain’t worth getting yourself worked up over!”

“No! It wasn’t like  _that!”_ Kiyotaka assured him, “I just happened to find them abandoned in town! That phone call I was making just now was to see if the local shelter would be able to take them…”

“Oh… So… these guys ain’t really my present…” Mondo realised, looking down at the puppies while trying to hide his sadness.

“It wasn’t my intention… but they  _could_ be!” Kiyotaka offered.

“Wha…? Taka, I can’t expect ya to help me look after  _four dogs_ just ‘cause of a misunderstanding!” Mondo exclaimed.

“It’s not  _just_ that!” Kiyotaka insisted, “To be honest, I’ve grown a little attached to them myself! And I think having them here made me worry less than I otherwise  _would_ have last night…”

“You’re serious…? You’re not just saying that ‘cause you know  _I_ want them…?” Mondo asked, cautiously.

“I’m serious! Granted, it’ll be a lot of work, but I’m  _more_ than happy to do my fair share of it!” Kiyotaka told him.

“Well… alright then!” Mondo started grinning down at the dogs again, “…I guess we’re pet owners!”

“Yes!” Kiyotaka agreed happily, before the practicalities of the situation crossed his mind… “Which means we’ll need pet  _insurance_. And a vet to look over them all. And dog toys. And a dog… door? You know, the flappy things so they can go outside when they need to… Oh! And leashes! And we’ll have to learn how to train them! And…”

“And I don’t suppose we can wait until  _tomorrow_ to organise all of this…?” Mondo sighed.

“Oh…” He  _had_ told Mondo they’d have the day  _together…_ And that  _was_ what Mondo prioritised over presents… “Well… it  _is_ your birthday! I’m sure we can manage with what we have for  _one_ more day…”

…Even if he  _shouldn’t_ really be putting all of that off, the look, hug and kiss Mondo gave him in response was worth it…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Next week's update will be on Sunday again.


	11. Ishimondo Doctor/Nurse AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to the career prompts! Two different people asked for Ishimondo in a doctors and nurses AU! 
> 
> I don’t know what it’s like in other countries, but NHS doctors tend to be pretty overworked, especially in hospitals, and end up running late quite often because appointment times are shorter than they probably should be. Plus recently I heard about some hospitals banning them from having cups of tea or coffee in places where patients could see them, because the public thought they were slacking off if they saw them, which inspired the following take on this ask. Around 1500 words.

 

“…I’m glad to see you’ve been making such good progress! I’ll see you again in six months!” Kiyotaka told his current patient, before waving them out of the door and updating their notes… leaving him with a just a couple of minutes before his  _next_ patient was due in.

Instinctively, his hand reached over to the water bottle by his side and started to go through the motions of opening it, a task that he remembered would be fruitless as soon as he felt the lack of weight as he lifted it up. It had been empty even  _before_ this last appointment, but he hadn’t had time to go fill it up, so he’d had to plough on through it while hiding the increasing dryness in his throat.

But he  _did_ have time  _now,_ and he decided to make the  _most_ of it by dashing out of the room, through the waiting area and down the hall to the closest water cooler so he could fill up the bottle, gulp the entire thing down and hen fill it back up again so it’d last him a few more appointments…

…It would have been  _nice_ if he had the time to finish the rest of his packed lunch, or even make himself a cup of tea… but the only way he’d have time to do  _either_ was to either let himself run late or start eating and drinking in front of his patients, which would be horribly unprofessional! But maybe if he was quick he’d be able to have a bite or two of his sandwich, and the water should fill his empty stomach for a while…

…Or, it  _would_ do, if there was actually any water coming  _out_ of the cooler! What was going on? It  _looked_ switched on… Don’t tell him it was  _broken!_

 _Arrgh!_ It  _was,_ wasn’t it!? And he didn’t have  _time_ to go back the other way to the  _other_ one, or he’d be  _late!_

Well… it might be uncomfortable, but it was hardly the end of the world… Humans could survive a whole  _day_ or more without drinking, so  _he_  could manage another appointment… or another  _few_ appointments, if he didn’t manage to wrap them up early… He just had to keep positive and tell himself that it wouldn’t be as much as an awful ordeal as his dry mouth and overactive imagination were making it seem to be, as he headed back down the hall to the waiting room, where the receptionists and nurses were busy organising all the waiting patients…

“To everyone waiting for the Endocrinology clinic, we regret to inform you that Dr. Ishimaru is currently running ten minutes late…”

… _WHAT!? No he was NOT!_ He was still  _perfectly_ on time!  _Obviously_ they’d got him mixed up with someone  _else_ who was running late! Probably  _McCormick_ again! He’d have to go and correct this mistake straight away, or his next patient was going to assume they had time to go off and buy a coffee or something, and then he really  _would_ be late!

But he’d barely had time to  _think_ of such an action, before a nurse in a large-size set of scrubs suddenly sidled up next to him and used his burly arms to outright  _push_ him into one of the other rooms in the hallways, despite his ineffectual attempt to squirm away from the man…

“Mondo,  _what_ are you  _doing…!?”_ Kiyotaka spun around as soon as his boyfriend let go of him to shut the door, scolding him in an embarrassingly croaky voice.

“Here.” Mondo’s answer was merely to hold out a bottle of water, which Kiyotaka instinctively accepted and started gulping down…

 _“Ulp…ulp…ulp… Haaaahhh…_ Thank you.”Kiyotaka gasped as he rapidly caught his breath, smiling in relief that the act of breathing was no longer slightly painful. But, as appreciative as he was… “You could have just handed me that in the hallway, though! Shoving me in here has wasted time, and now I’m running a minute late!”

“Didn’t ya hear the announcement?” Mondo smirked, a look that was all too attractive when combined with the way he had his long-blond hair tied back into a messy ponytail, “You’re running  _ten_ minutes late.”

“… _You_ had them make that announcement!?” Kiyotaka realised with a jolt of annoyance, “Mondo, I get  _enough_ comments about me ‘fraternising with the nurses’  _without_ you  _intentionally_ making me  _late_  just so you can whisk me away into a private room and partake in…  _whatever_ it is that you’re planning!”

“I made ya a cup of tea and a sandwich.” Mondo explained, pointing behind Kiyotaka, where there was a table with the aforementioned items on it that he’d been too busy trying to get out of the room to notice before now.

“…What?” This… was  _not_ what Kiyotaka had been expecting Mondo to have planned.

“You didn’t think I’d noticed you ain’t stopped all day for a cup of  _tea!?_ Which I’m betting means you didn’t finish your lunch either!” Mondo snapped at him, “And just now you were about to go back to your appointment without even drinking some  _water,_ even though you were thirsty enough to down a whole  _bottle_ of it!? _”_

“I… The clinic’s busy today, and it’s not fair to keep people waiting…”

“It’s  _always_ busy and it ain’t fair that you have so much work to do that you don’t get a chance to  _eat!”_ Mondo outright yelled at him that time, “And I dunno about  _you,_ but  _I’d_ rather wait an extra ten minutes for a doctor who takes the time to look after  _himself_ , so he doesn’t fuck up looking after  _me!”_

“I know that! But…” …Of course he’dfeel the same way as Mondo about any doctors  _he_ had to wait for. He was sure most reasonable people would! And he’d never deny any of his colleagues the chance to take a break if they needed to. But when it came to choosing whether or not he  _himself_ deserved a break… “…I wouldn’t  _need_ the extra time if I worked harder, or more efficiently at lea…”

“Shut the fuck up!” Mondo growled, in the tone of voice he usually reserved for people who were insulting Kiyotaka… which… he supposed he had been, in a way… “Every  _other_ doctor in the clinic’s at least  _twenty_ minutes late! Fucking  _forty,_ for McCormick! So don’t you  _dare_ say you’re not working hard enough ‘cause you end up being fifteen minutes late!”

“… _Fifteen?_ I thought it was  _ten!?”_

“Yeah, but then you spent five minutes arguing about it!” Mondo insisted, “Now fucking sit down and eat before your tea goes cold!”

“Alright…” Kiyotaka sat down and started eating…There wasn’t any point in even  _trying_ to argue if Mondo was in  _this_ mood.

“Good. And don’t worry about cleaning the stuff up afterwards, just leave it here and I’ll do it.” Mondo told him, before leaving the room.

That offer was probably so Mondo could check how much he’d ended up eating, meaning he’d have to polish off the entire plate, unless he wanted to go home to another argument about it. Not that the food was unwelcome at all! It was only after he’d stopped rushing around and started eating that he realised how overwhelmed and hungry he’d actually  _been…_

The food was all gone before he’d even noticed it, along with half of the cup of tea!  _And_ he was currently only running  _nine_ minutes late! All he had to gulp down the rest of the drink and he’d only be as late as the staff had originally  _told_ everyone he’d be!

…Except there was suddenly there was another bottle of water and a plate of biscuits in front of him, as well as a thick pair of arms wrapping themselves around his upper torso from the back…

“…I’m sorry I yelled at you…” Mondo mumbled in his ear, squeezing his chest, “It just worries me when you don’t eat… And it pisses me off when you hate on yourself, ‘cause you do a fucking  _great_  job and should be proud of it…”

“Ah… I’m sorry I made you worry…” He should really have thought of that… “I’ll try and make sure I take proper breaks, when I need them.”

“Thanks.” Mondo gave him another squeeze, and pressed his lips against Kiyotaka’s cheek for a moment, before letting him go with a sigh. “I’ve gotta bunch of people to do vitals on, but have a couple of biscuits before you go, alright?”

“…Alright.” Kiyotaka nodded, but turned around in his seat to take the opportunity to give Mondo’s hand a quick squeeze, “And make sure you take care of yourself as well as me!”

“Sure I will!” Mondo leaned down to give Kiyotaka a quick kiss on the lips, before having to leave the room again.

Hold on… Kiyotaka was  _sure_ there’d been more biscuits on the plate before Mondo had kissed him! He’d better not be thinking of snacking while he was wearing scrubs! It wasn’t hygienic!

…Although… if Mondo  _did_ need to eat something, Kiyotaka couldn’t really blame him for it… It was far better than not eating at all. He certainly wasn’t going to bring it up and make Mondo feel guilty over it!

Now if only he wouldn’t make  _himself_ feel guilty over spending the extra five minutes to eat ~~two~~ three biscuits with the rest of his tea, before he carried on with the rest of his shift at the clinic…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	12. IshiMondoLeon as firefighters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slight difference for this week, as someone asked me to write IshimondoLEON as firefighters for the career prompts I was doing, so my apologies if you'd rather just see Ishimondo by themselves. (I do still have two more short stories with them, one of which was a firefighter AU as well.)   
> I couldn’t find much about this trio aside from a fic based on the fact that Leon and Kiyotaka have almost identical heights and chest sizes, so I kind of incorporated that into here. Around 3500 words.

People became firefighters for lots of reasons. Most of them did it ‘cause they wanted to rescue people, like his pal Mondo Oowada had decided he wanted to do after he accidentally caused his brother’s death as a teenager. Others did it because it was a decently paying job with a good reputation, like Kiyotaka Ishimaru, who’d decided it’d give him good life experience to go into a career in politics.

And then there was Leon, who decided to become one when a chick he fancied had swooned over one of those calendars filled with shirtless dudes holding fire axes. After all, what woman  _didn’t_ like firemen? They were all selfless, hunky heroes who risked their lives to save people and their pets and stuff!  _Everyone_ loved firemen!

…Including  _Leon,_ as he’d realised once he’d passed all of the tests and actually started working and hanging out with them all every day. Especially the two guys mentioned previously, even though they couldn’t be less alike…

Mondo was a cool guy to sit and shoot the breeze with, in the rare times they actually got to relax at the station, but also a huge hot-headed powerhouse who you could be damn sure would always have your back and be the first to head into a blazing inferno to go rescue someone, if needed. Especially if that ‘someone’ was small and fluffy and  _barked,_ as he had a huge soft spot for cute animals that everyone at the station knew about, but no one except Leon and Kiyotaka actually dared mention to him.

Meanwhile, Kiyotaka was the type of neurotic asshole who wouldn’t let you rest until every damn piece of equipment was double-and triple checked, and even when they  _were_ allowed to rest, he’d be there aggressively studying for exams and offering advice to anyone trying to do the same… which would have been annoying as hell if Leon had met him in, say,  _high-school._ But in a job where someone forgetting important shit, or having an equipment failure, could be  _deadly,_ it was appreciated… annoying as  _hell,_ but appreciated!

Although, from what Leon had heard, both of them were way more annoying to deal with before the time they got trapped in a burning building together and came out as the best of pals. Before  _then,_ Mondo apparently had a tendency to lose his temper and punch anyone who so much as looked at him funny, and Kiyotaka was so uptight that he’d yell at people for wasting time if they so much as spent five minutes having a cup of tea without doing something  _else_ productive at the same time.

So, it was a good that that had happened, not only cause it meant Leon got to hang out with them on a regular basis without them getting pissed off with each other, but also because if Kiyotaka  _hadn’t_ lightened up, there’d have been no  _way_  their department would have organised the production of one of their  _own_ firefighter’s calendars, let alone invited Leon along to finally achieve his dream of posing shirtless in it! And on work time, to boot! (So long as none of the alarms went off and forced it to be rescheduled, anyway…)

He was so excited about the whole thing, he ended up heading off to the room the photographs would be taken in early, just to see what was there…

…And was incredibly surprised to see  _Kiyotaka,_ of all people, finishing helping the photographer set up his lighting equipment and some backdrops…

“Ah… Leon! If you came to help set up, I’m afraid you’re a bit too late! We just finished!” Kiyotaka announced, “And if you’re here to be photographed, you’re too early! They won’t need us for another half hour!”

“Wait…  _us!?_   _You’re_ taking part in this!?” Hell, he was still pretty surprised Kiyotaka wasn’t actively trying to stop it from happening! Or at least not complaining about it taking the place of their usual drills…

“And why  _wouldn’t_ I!?” He asked, getting weirdly angry about it.

“Woah… dude, I was just thinking it’d trigger your allergy to  _fun_ stuff…”

“I do  _not_  have an allergy to  _fun,_ thank you very much! And besides, this activity raises money for the department, so it’s for a good cause!” Kiyotaka insisted, “But I apologise for snapping before. I thought you were implying I’m not attractive enough to appear in the calendar.”

“Well… yeah, you making the cut  _is_ kinda surprising…” He spent most of their downtime with his nose in a book, and given how pasty-white he was, Leon figured that’d be all he did back at home, to…

 _“Excuse me!?_ I might not be the most muscle-bound member of the department, but  _I_ actually spend a reasonable amount of time in the  _gym_ , unlike  _you!”_

“Oh, really?” Guess it made sense that he hadto do  _some_ exercise, otherwise he’d have never passed any of the physicals tests, and he probably wasn’t into sports, like Leon was.

 _“Yes,_ really!” Kiyotaka snapped and started undoing his jacket… “Here, I’ll  _show_ you!”

“Uhh… no, dude, I didn’t mea…” Leon was  _going_ to tell him that he wasn’t being sarcastic just now… but Ishimaru had already finished getting his jacket off and…

 _Wow._ Was not expecting  _that._ He might not be as built as  _Mondo,_ but the dude still had good tone on his arms and pecs, not to mention a rock solid set of abs… he probably looked similar to Leon, actually! But his skin looked way softer and smoother… Yeah, Leon’d  _definitely_  buy a calendar with  _that_ in it!

 _“See!_ If youactually _worked_   _out_ , instead of just playing  _games_ all the time,  _you’d_ have a body like this as well!” But then Kiyotaka had to go and ruin it…

“Hey! Baseball’s a perfectly good workout!” Kiyotaka didn’t look convinced though. Guess Leon’d have to  _show_ him… “And,  _here…_ I’ve  _already_ got a body like that!”

Kiyotaka arched his ginormous eyebrows at him in an unimpressed way while Leon was rolling his shirt off… but that changed once Leon threw it off to the side and casually spread his arms out to give him a better look.

“A-ah…”  _Heh…_ From the way his jaw dropped and he stood blinking at Leon, he really  _was_ surprised that Leon  _also_ had abs and arm muscles to spare! Not to mention actually having some damn  _hair_ on his chest! Let’s see Kiyotaka insult him  _now…_ “Aahhh… Alright, I’m admit you’re… only  _slightly_ less attractive than myself, but…”

“The  _hell_ you’re better looking than me!” They looked  _exactly_ the fucking  _same!_

“I… I  _am!_ But if you won’t believe  _me,_ then we’ll ask someone you  _will!”_ Kiyotaka insisted, glaring over his shoulder with an intense fire in his eyes…  _“Mondo!_ Fantastic timing!”

Leon turned back to the hallway to see Mondo further up. Probably close enough to hear that they’d been arguing, but not what they’d been arguing  _about…_

“What is it, Kiyotaka…?” Mondo asked, sounding like he was suppressing the urge to laugh at the fact that he was being asked by Kiyotaka to settle yet  _another_ disagreement, even though  _most_ of the time he took  _Leon’s_ side…

“Out of myself and Leon…” Kiyotaka grabbed his arm and pulled him so the pair of them were stood side-by-side, “Which of us has the more attractive body!?”

Mondo froze in indecision.  _Hopefully_ he was gonna have the sense to tell Kiyotaka that the answer was  _‘neither’_ and that he should quit turning  _everything_ into a competition all the damn time!

“Wh… What kinda question is  _that!?”_ Instead, he just tried to get Kiyotaka to drop the subject, although that probably wasn’t going to work…

“We were discussing whether or not Leon’s baseball games are a reasonable form of exercise, compared to my going to the gym!” Kiyotaka made it sound a  _lot_ less stupid than it actually was, “But we disagreed on what the results of our workouts  _are,_ and needed another opinion!”

“Ngh…  _Okay!_ But why the  _hell_ did you ask  _me,_ and not that guy with the camera! Or the chicks at reception, even!”  _Whoa…_ Mondo was getting seriously worked up by this! To the point where Kiyotaka was cringing in embarrassment, not that it was stopping Mondo…  _“It’s not like I find you both hot or anything!”_

… _WHAT!?_ Where did  _that_ come from!?

…Probably the fact that Mondo  _did_ find them both hot, if the way he started panicking as the pair of them gaped at him in total silence was any indication! He looked like he was thinking of bolting…

“I…” And a single strained word out of Kiyotaka’s mouth was apparently the last thing he needed to decide to actually do it, turning on his feet and rapidly disappearing down the corridor before he Kiyotaka could finish… “…always ask… ah!  _Mondo, wait…!_ Ah… he’s gone… _”_

“Well,  _that_  was a cluster-fuck…” He’d had no  _idea_ Mondo liked guys to! He’d have asked him out  _ages_ ago if he’s known that!

“But… I don’t understand, why did he run off like that!?” Kiyotaka looked towards Leon, with distraught tears starting to form in his eyes. “He didn’t even give me chance to answer him!”

“He’s embarrassed that he just admitted he’s got the hots for us! Wouldn’t  _you_ be if  _that’s_ how yo…”

“No… he specifically said he  _doesn’t_ find us hot!” Oh  _geez,_ how oblivious could he  _be!?_

“Yeah, but given how loud he yelled it was obvious he was  _lying!”_ Leon pointed out, “At least to anyone who isn’t  _you,_ I guess…”

“You… you really think so?” Kiyotaka asked, cautiously hopeful, “You think he finds me attractive?”

“He said  _both of us_ are hot…” Leon corrected, not liking the way Kiyotaka had homed straight in on the ‘Kiyotaka’ part of Mondo’s statement,  _or_  how happy he was looking about the news…

“Well,  _yes,_ but  _you’re_ only attracted to women, so it’s irrelevant in your case, right?” Kiyotaka smiled genially as he confirmed Leon’s fears… “…Err. That  _is_ right, isn’t it?”

“Not…  _exactly_ …”

“You… you like Mondo as well?” Kiyotaka’s face was slowly turning grim as he realised that this was gonna turn into something  _else_ for them to compete over, which would have to be settled by Mondo, “…Enough to want a relationship with him?”

 _Dammit._ As much as he was gonna hate screwing with Kiyotaka, or even forcing Mondo to choose between the pair of them… “Yeah, I do.”

“Oh… I see.” Kiyotaka’s face set like stone and Leon could see his arm shaking from how tight his fist was clenched… “Well… I’m sure you two will make a great couple!”

“…What!?” Why the hell was he suddenly smiling and acting like he’d be totally fine if Leon went off and started dating the guy!? “Don’t  _you_ like him as well!?”

“Ah…  _no! Ahahaha!”_  Man, here was  _another_ dude who was bad at lying! “Whatever gave you  _that…?”_

“Don’t lie! You were all for it went you thought I was straight!” Leon snapped at him, “So why are you giving up without a fight, over  _this_ of all things!?”

“Well… I’m always busy with my studies and might end up moving far away at some point! So it’s not fair if I get in the way of you and Mondo, when  _you_  have much more time for him!” Kiyotaka answered logically, although it was ruined slightly by the tears in his eyes getting bigger and bigger. “It’ll be much better for me if I wait until  _after_ I’m settled in my eventual career to start a serious relationship!”

“Yeah, but on the  _other_ hand, neither Mondo or I have our shit together!” Leon admitted, “He’d be  _waaay_ better off dating  _you_ in the short term!”

“You shouldn’t sell yourself short like that! I’m sure you and Mondo are  _more_ than competent to manage a household together!” Kiyotaka insisted, even though tears were flowing down his cheeks now. “And besides… why are you arguing  _against_ yourself!?”

“Why are  _you!?”_ Leon threw the questions back at him. “I mean, all the dumb shit we’ve competed over, and  _this_ is what you decide to give up on? Don’t you even wanna try asking Mondo what  _he’d_ prefer!?”

“No! This isn’t some petty argument we can get Mondo to solve like that! This’ll have  _serious_ consequences!”

Wouldn’t that be all the more reason to  _get_ serious about it!? ‘Cause, as much as he was trying to hide it, he was gonna be seriously  _hurt_ if Mondo started dating Leon, just like  _he’d_ probably be bummed out if Mondo started dating Kiyotaka…

…Wait, was that it!? “Are you just giving up ‘cause you don’t want  _me_ ending up on my own…?” Kiyotaka dropped eye contact, shamefully… “…Do you  _like_ me?”

“Ah… of course I do! We’ve worked together for…”

“I mean enough to wanna  _date_ me.” Leon stopped him in his tracks.

“Yes… if it weren’t for Mondo, I’d want to date you. And if it weren’t for  _you,_ I’d want to date him…” He sighed in resignation, wiping his tears. “But… if  _one_  of us has to be alone, it makes much more sense that it be  _me,_ as I explained…”

 _“Pfft!_ Screw  _that!_ Who says  _any_ of us have to be alone!” Kiyotaka’s brows furrowed in confusion, “I like you as well!”

“…I appreciate that…” He actually started blushing a little, “But… three divided by two still leaves one person remaining, whichever way we…”

“Geez, have you never heard of a  _threesome!?”_

“I’m talking about serious relationships!” Kiyotaka snapped.

“So am I! Three people can be dating each other!” Leon snapped back, “It’s called, uhh…  _poly_ -something-or-other…”

“…Are you  _sure…?”_ Kiyotaka arched an eyebrow sceptically, “It seems too good to be true… and I’ve never heard of anyone having a relationship like that… How does it work with getting  _married!?_ ”

“Well… I dunno about that one.”Leon admitted, “And, yeah, I’m pretty sure there’s people who wouldn’t get it and we’d probably have to deal with a bunch of crap from ‘em… But who the fuck  _cares_ what they’d think, if it worked for  _us!?”_

“Well… When you put it like that… I suppose it’ll be worth making the effort to try!” Kiyotaka grinned excitedly, “Let’s go tell Mondo!”

“Sure… if we can find out where he ran off to…”

“Ah… right. I’m guessing he wouldn’t answer his phone, so let’s ask around and check his usual spots first…”

In the end, they found him in the corner of the building he often used to ‘secretly’ feed stray any cats and dogs he’d rescued, before organising proper homes for them…

But right now, he was sitting with his face between his knees, almost pulling his hair out of his head…

“Mondo, that is no way to deal with your problems!” Kiyotaka obviously couldn’t stand to see him like that, but probably could have picked a better way to stop the guy than by scaring the crap outta him…

 _“Guugh…!”_  Mondo flinched, before guiltily uncurling to face him, cringing once he saw that it wasn’t just Kiyotaka there, but Leon as well… “Uhh… look… about… about… what I said…”

“Dude, it’s cool!” Leon tried to calm him down before he gave himself a heart attack, “We feel the same way!”

“Ehh… You… you  _do!?”_ Mondo stared between them in shock, as they both nodded at him,  _“Both_ of you!?”

“Yep!”, “Y-yes!” They answered, Kiyotaka just  _slightly_ less confident than Leon was about it.

“…Fucking  _hell…_ I… I thought I’d be lucky if  _one_ of you liked me, let along  _both…”_ Mondo admitted in his shock, before a worried look crept over his face… “Wait…  _shit_ … don’t tell me you guys both came here to make me decide which of you I’m gonna…”

“No! No, not this time!” Kiyotaka assured him, “Ah… Leon and I realised… we both like each other as well…”

“So, we’re thinking threesome!” Leon winked at him.

“But a long term one!” Kiyotaka clarified, “If that’s alright with you, of course!”

“Uhh… yeah! That’s… that great!” Mondo stared at them dumbfounded for a while, but finally agreed, still looking like he barely believed it was happening.

“Perfect!” Kiyotaka clapped with joy, “We should do something to make it official! Is there some kind of three way kiss we can do…?”

“Ehh… closest we’re gonna get is two of us kissing on the lips while the other kisses our face and neck and stuff…” At least, that’s what Leon had seen threesomes doing at parties… “We just gotta make sure we switch it up a bit…”

“I see! In that case, you two start with the lip kissing!” Kiyotaka practically  _ordered_ them, which Leon  _hoped_ was just ‘cause he had jack-all experience kissing and not him being a martyr.

“Sure, Taka… but how about you two both come and sit down here, first…” Mondo scooted up so his back was against the wall and patted the floor on both sides of him with a sexy smirk…

 _Heh…_ he was totally thinking of guys with a girl on both arms, wasn’t he? Well, no harm in playing into his ego trip for now. And Kiyotaka certainly seemed to agree, given he practically dived under Mondo’s left arm, leaving Leon to cuddle up to him on his right side.

Damn… this had been a great idea! He was getting to use his right hand to stroke Mondo’s neck and hair, and he could feel the guy’s thick bicep holding him up at the back, pressing their rock-hard pecs together.

…And meanwhile, Kiyotaka was sat bolt upright with Mondo’s arm slung around his shoulders, eyes roving over the pair of them like he was trying to work out how to copy Leon’s position.

“…Here!” Leon reached over to him and grabbed his far arm, pulled it back across so Kiyotaka pivoted onto the other side of Mondo’s lap, and tucked it behind his  _own_ back so Kiyotaka could use him to keep his balance. “That better?”

“Yes! Thank you!” Kiyotaka nodded, tensing up turning red as Leon and Mondo finished shifting their bodies around so they were all comfortable and steady.

“You  _sure?”_ Mondo asked, looking at him anxiously. Which was fair, ‘cause the guy looked scared stiff.

“Yes! I’m fine! I’m just not used to this…” Kiyotaka admitted, “Please, you two start and I’ll work out how to join in!”

“Cool…” Leon agreed, quickly pressing his lips against the soft skin of his cheek. “Just tell us if you wanna stop, okay?”

Kiyotaka nodded furiously, and then blushed furiously as Mondo decided to give him an equally chaste kiss on the forehead before turning to Leon and anxiously waiting for him to do something…

Which was his cue stretch his neck up so that their lips touched. Softly at first, but then harder and sloppier as Mondo got into it and opened his mouth so he could use his tongue some more, something that only increased once the pair of them started to feel tentative pecks from Kiyotaka’s lips on their cheeks occasionally, which he kept on doing even after the two of them had stopped to breathe.

“You wanna turn n- _nn?”_ Mondo had turned sideways to ask Kiyotaka a question, just as  _he’d_  leant forward to give him another kiss on the cheek, so now both of them were rapidly turning redder as they sat with their lips pressed against each other.

“Ah…  _yes!”_ Kiyotaka pulled back just enough to answer his question, before Mondo chased him back for another kiss, and Lean took the opportunity to run a line of kisses up his neck, along his jawline, and then across to the area underneath Kiyotaka’s jaw…

 _“AH!”_ Kiyotaka gasped and rocked backwards in surprise, almost losing his balance and falling as he did so.

“What, you forget I was here?” Leon smirked, once he and Mondo had pulled him back upright.

“Ah…  _no!_ It was just sudden, and I wasn’t expecting you to kiss me  _there!”_ He insisted.

“Well, how’s about you let Leon kiss you on the lips now…?” Mondo suggested, earlier than Leon was expecting him to…

“Ah… alright! Kiyotaka nodded, staring at him intensely, as he  _also_ expected Leon to make the first move, which he did, leaning forward to press their lips together… and then having to adjust his angle because Kiyotaka had kept his head in the exact same position instead of tilting it like Leon had expected…

It was also taking him way long that expected to coax Kiyotaka into actually opening his mouth and letting him use his tongue… and the idea of him moving his  _own_ tongue as well didn’t occur to him, even though they kissed until they ran out of breath…

“…Is this your first kissing someone?” Leon asked him,  _“Other_ than your parents?”

“Yes! How did you know…?”

“Well… let’s just say you could probably do with some more practise at it…”

 _“Excuse me!?_ I think I did a perfectly good job of it just now!” Kiyotaka snapped, “At  _least_ as good as you! Right Mondo!?”

“Ehh… not…  _really_ …” Mondo admitted, awkwardly. “Leon was better…”

“Heh…” He could help laugh at the furious look on Kiyotaka’s face… “But that’s only ‘cause I have more experience than you. I’ll just have to give you some tips… and someone to practise  _with…_ ”

“Aahh… V-very well!” Kiyotaka blushed in the face of his sultry smile, “…But I think we’ve spent enough time doing this for now!”

_“What!?”_

“Did you two forget we’re  _at work!?”_ Kiyotaka snapped, unhooking himself from the pair of them and hopping to his feet, “We’re  _supposed_ to be getting ready for the photoshoot! Not to mention we’re lucky there wasn’t an alarm, given that took  _far_ longer than I expected it to! Now quit staring at me and get  _moving!_ And Mondo,  _you_ need to get out of that shirt! Come on!”

“Urgh… alright, alright… we’re  _going!”_ Leon groaned, as he pulled himself up off of Mondo’s lap. Just what the heck had he got himself into…?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! As I said in the beginning notes, next week will be just Ishimondo as firefighters.


	13. Ishimondo Firemen career AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the last of the career AU prompts I did and I decided it was a good time to do a take on the old sauna scene. Just under 3000 words.

Mondo looked down the stairs he come up, shifting the weight of the teenage boy he was carrying over his shoulder…  _Shit_ … The fire was raging so hot he couldn’t even see how far down it went anymore, there was no way he’d make it back down  _there…_ he was barely coping with the amount of fire in  _this_  corridor!

He needed to find a way out of this apartment building, and  _fast!_ But this was the floor the fire had  _started,_ and the shitty doors had done nothing to protect the individual apartments from the inferno, so it wasn’t even like he could run through one of them to a window!

 _Damnit!_ This was turning out just like that asshole Ishimaru  _said_ it would! He’d managed to get  _up_ to this floor _,_ but by the time he’d found the right place and the kid, the fire had spread up the stairway and now there was no way back  _down!_

Well… he’d had to try, he couldn’t have just stood outside knowing someone was probably gonna die in here, regardless of what ‘acting-lieutenant’ Ishimaru had said… And he didn’t give a shit if he died trying to do the right thing. He just hoped that boy down on the ground could forgive him for failing to save his big broth…

“Oowada! Over  _here!”_ The  _hell!?_ There was someone  _else_ up on this floor!? “Five paces behind you, then down the corridor on your left,  _quickly!”_

His body followed the order, racing down the corridor to see an arm sticking out of a much studier-looking door than all the other ones on this floor. Whoever this was had managed to find a safe apartment, and now they could get out through the window! Hah! Screw that coward Ishimaru! They’d totally been able to save this kid!

…Or so he thought, until he ran inside the room and found that it was nothing but an empty storeroom, admittedly one that wasn’t on  _fire,_ but also one that didn’t have a  _way out…_

_*Thud. Click*_

“What the hell are you  _doing!?”_ Mondo snapped, as he heard the other fireman shut and lock the door he’d just come through, “There’s no way out here!”

“I already  _told_ you, there’s no way out  _anywhere_ on this floor!” Mondo couldn’t believe his eyes as the guy who’d come to his aid took off his helmet, and turned out to be  _Kiyotaka Ishimaru,_ the very guy who’d been ordering him not to come up here in the first place. “The best I could do was direct you to the _one_ room which actually had an adequate fire door, and hope that we can wait it out until the  _rest_ of our team can put out the fire! Now lie the boy down so I can check him over!”

…Mondo didn’t have any way to argue with any of that. All he could do was gently lower the kid to the floor and watch Ishimaru check his breathing and everything, in the dim torchlight…

“…It’s shallow, but he’s breathing. He’s probably unconscious from the smoke, so hopefully the fresher air in here will help… or at least not make him any worse.”

“Thanks.” At least now he knew he hadn’t come up here for a guy who was already dead… But now it meant that all they could do was sit and wait to be rescued, or for the door to burn down and for them to burn to death… “…How long do you think that door will last?”

“It’s up to regulation, unlike all the  _other_ doors here, so it  _should_ be able to last at least thirty minutes against a fire.” Ishimaru stated, matter-of-factly. “So we have at least fifteen minutes. Maybe more, if we’re lucky.”

Fifteen minutes!? “That doesn’t seem like much time to put out  _this…”_

“…No. It’s not.” Ishimaru agreed, his voice worrying hollow and monotone.

“…We’re probably gonna die in here, aren’t we?” Mondo realised, for the second time this evening. It felt worse this time, though…

“Most likely, yes.” Ishimaru agreed, struggling to keep his voice level, “Oowada, what the  _hell_ were you thinking!?”

_(“PLEASE! I know where he is! Apartment 56! He’s probably asleep… PLEASE let me help him… PLEASE! I HAVE to go help him… I… I’m the one who started this…”)_

“…Guy needed saving.” That’s all Ishimaruneeded to know. “Like  _hell_ I was gonna ignore that!”

“Even though I  _told_ you there was no possible way to get anyone  _out_  of the building!?”

“I took this job to  _save_ people, not to just stand around and give up on ‘em like  _you!”_

“There’s a  _difference_  between  _giving up_  and recognising that we can’t save  _everybody!”_

“No there fucking  _isn’t!”_ How the hell could he just stand there and say that!? Especially given the situation he’d put himself if…  _“_ But if  _that’s_  what you think, then why the  _hell_ did you come in  _after_ me!?”

“I… This is my first time acting as a Lieutenant! It would have reflected badly on me if you…”

 _“Yeah…_ I  _figured_ it’d be something like that…” Mondo interrupted his crap, “You don’t give a  _shit_ about helping people!”

“That’s  _not_  true!” Ishimaru tried to insist, “Helping people is  _all_  I want to do!”

“The  _hell_ it is! All  _you_ want is your fancy political career! Everyone in the  _department_  knows this job is just nice  _stepping stone_ to you!” Mondo snapped at him, “Something you can do to get people to take you seriously, ‘cause you thought it’d be better than getting a degree in the same old shit politicians  _usually_ get, like law, or finance!”

“…Business management.” He only  _just_ heard Ishimaru mutter the damn  _correction_ under his breath, but it was enough for him to realise the idiot  _still_ didn’t  _get it!_

“It doesn’t  _matter_ what the fucking thing is called! My  _point_ is that you don’t  _care_ about this! You just thought working as some kinda hero for a few years would make you a shoo-in for Prime Minister! Something  _easy_ you could  _brag_ about on TV!” Ishimaru jumped in surprise as Mondo railed on him, “Well  _newsflash,_ asshole! Being a hero  _ain’t_ easy! If you wanted easy, you have got your degree in  _Business management_ and…!”

“NO! I  _didn’t_ take this job because I thought it would be  _easy!”_ Ishimaru shouted over the rest of his sentence, “I took it because I  _knew_ it would be difficult! And that was what I  _wanted!_ Something  _hard_ to teach me all the harsh lessons I need to learn, so I wouldn’t make the same stupid mistakes  _HE_ did!”

The fuck was he going on about? “…Who’s  _he?”_

“…My grandfather.” He said, like it should have been obvious… “You’ve not heard of him?”

“No, why the hell  _would I?”_ Mondo asked, “What did he  _do?”_

“…A degree in business management, unlike  _most_  politicians, who usually take law or finance…” Ishimaru sounded like he was tryingto be funny, “And it was easy, for him at least…  _very_ easy. From what I heard, it seemed like everything he touched turned to gold, with very little effort on his part. It was no surprise when he became the youngest ever Prime Minister…”

His Grandfather had been  _Prime Minister!?_ “…So what’s the problem? Why  _wouldn’t_ you just do what he did?”

“The  _problem_  was that his life had been  _too_ easy, up until then. He had no understanding of what life is like for most of the people he was supposed to be presiding over, and was completely unprepared to deal with any kind of failure…” Ishimaru explained in a hollow voice, “He ended up doing such a miserable job of running the country, that he became the quickest Prime Minister to be ousted from the role. He was such a disgrace that no one even wanted to do business with him anymore, and he ended up leaving the town I grew up in a destitute wasteland of empty factories, with no employment prospects for any of the thousands of workers who’d moved there, as well as saddling my family with an almost unpayable debt… both in terms of money  _and_ our reputation…”

“…Oh.” Shit, he’d not heard of any of that. No wonder the guy was so hell-bent on saving his reputation…

“…I thought if I took a job like this… a good, hard,  _honest_ job where I  _help_ people, and  _then_ managed to become Prime Minister, I’d be able to fix his stupid mistakes, help the families he’d let down and redeem our family…” Ishimaru admitted, “…But I suppose I might not have the chance to, now…”

Yeah… because  _Mondo_ had been such an idiot that he’d forced the guy to run in after him on a suicide mission… “I…  _fuck,_ I had no idea!  _GODDAMNIT this is all my fault!_ I’m  _sorry!”_

How he could he have been so  _stupid!_ He’d been thinking he’d stop that kid from feeling the same way  _he’d_ done about Daiya, but now all he’d done was get someone  _else_ better than him killed,  _again!_

“Ah… you’re  _sorry?_ And… are you  _crying…?”_

“O-of course I am!” Mondo answered  _both_ questions, “You’re… you’re gonna  _die_ , and it’s  _my…”_

“No…!” Ishimaru shouted, “I  _chose_ to come in here! That was  _my_ fault, and mine alone!”

“But… you said that was ‘cause  _I’d_  have messed up your chances to fix everything if you  _hadn’t!”_

“Ah… That… that’s not actually true. I doubt I’d be shamed over you dying while disobeying a direct order.” Ishimaru admitted, “I just said that because… I didn’t want to admit that I didn’t really have a logical reason for it. I just saw that you were likely to get yourself killed and…  _knew_ I had to  _try_ and stop it from happening…”

 _“What…!?”_ He… was he  _serious!?_ “So you just…  _decided_ to risk your life for  _mine!?”_

“I… I suppose. Like you said, someone needed saving and…”

 _“What the hell is WRONG with you, you idiot!?_ Why the hell would you do that for  _me!?”_ Ishimaru just stared at him, “You had  _plans!_ You actually wanted to  _do_ something with your life! I was just gonna stay at this job for as long as possible, ‘cause it makes me feel good about myself and I’m shit at everything  _else!_ And you  _knew_ it was my own stupid fault that I was gonna die, and you  _knew_ you’d probably die trying to save me, and I never  _asked_ for your help! So why the hell  _did_  you do it!?  _Why’d you fucking save me, Daiya!?”_

Dammit… He probably didn’t have an answer, he’d just  _said_ it was a fucking spur of the moment thing, and now he was just staring at Mondo like he didn’t know  _what_  to say…

“…Who’s  _Daiya?”_

 _“What?”_ How’d he know about  _him!?_

“You just called me ‘Daiya’! My name’s Kiyotaka, if you were trying to use my given na…”

 _Shit…_ Had he just…? Dammit, he was so used to asking himself those questions about his  _brother,_ it must have just slipped out, but he couldn’t tell _anyone_ about that!

“Uhh… my bad. Guess I mixed you up with one of the other guys! Just… forget I said that.” Mondo told him, “Forget I said  _any_ of that.”

“No… no one else in the whole station has the name ‘Daiya’!” Ishimaru argued, “And this is  _clearly_ bothering you, so there’s obviously some personal issue you’re…”

“Of  _course_ it’s bothering me! You’re probably gonna die, and it’ll be  _my_ fault!” Mondo snapped at him, “Just ‘cause I was an idiot and drove too fast…!”

The gloom of the torchlight was just enough for him to see Ishimaru’s head tilt slightly in confusion… wait… “Shit… I mean… ‘cause I tried to save…”

“Oowada… please, tell me the truth.” Ishimaru pleaded quietly, “I… I  _need_  to understand what’s troubling you… and there may be some way I can help…”

Damnit… that wasn’t likely, but the cat was almost outta the bag already, and it wasn’t like Ishimaru was going to be able to tell anyone his secret…

“When I was a kid… my bro, Daiya, and I started a motorcycle gang. He was the leader; I was second in command. Was fucking awesome for a few years, but then he was growing up and wanted to pass on leadership to someone else… me.” Mondo started, “But… the rest of the gang still just saw me as his kid brother, so they were all talking behind his back about I was gonna send things to shit as soon as I got in charge, ‘cause I’d never be as good as  _Daiya.”_

“…And…?” Ishimaru prompted, after he took a while to psyche himself up to say what happened next.

“…I decided to challenge him to a race. Prove I was better than him, so the gang’d take me seriously and quit worrying.” Mondo admitted, “But… I fucked up. I was so desperate to win that… I drove too fast, lost control of my bike, and next thing I know I’m staring at the front of a truck, with no time to turn outta the way. I knew right then I was gonna die.”

“…But then your brother saved you… at the cost of his own life?” Ishimaru saved him the trouble of saying it. “And you’ve blamed yourself ever since…”

“…Yeah. I… that’s why I took this job. I figured if I could spend my life saving people, it’d make up for him saving  _me…”_ Mondo admitted, “I just… I wish I knew what the hell he’d been thinking. Did he  _really_  think I was more important than  _him!?_ Or was it just like you… just did it ‘cause he was a hero, and that’s the kind of shit they do…?”

…He was never gonna know, unless he ended up in the same place as Daiya and got to ask him. But it felt slightly better to have said it out loud to someone…

“Perhaps…” Ishimaru surprised him by attempting to answer his questions, “Perhaps he did it, because he felt responsible for you getting yourself into trouble.”

“But it wasn’t  _his_ fault I was so desperate to win that I fucked up!”

“But… the  _reason_ you were desperate to win was because of the situation he’d put you in, wasn’t it?” Ishimaru argued, “Even if he didn’t realise what you were going through at the time, or have known about it when you challenged him to the race… I’m sure as soon as you raced off ahead with that desperate look on your face… he’d have realised at  _that_  point! He might not have known  _why_ you were so desperate that you’d risk your life, but we could tell wewere to blame in  _some_ capacity! That there was  _something_ we should have been doing differently in the lead-up to that moment! That you were about to get yourself killed because we’d not been paying enough attention to you! And that if you really  _did_ die, we’d never be able to live with  _our_ se…!”

He stopped, having finally realising he’d been talking about himself as well as Daiya. But… “Ishimaru, you didn’t do anything wrong…”

“I shouldn’t have expected you to deal with that boy! Not when he was blaming himself for the fire!”

“But I never  _told_ anyone about Daiya, so it’s  _my_ fault you didn’t know that!”

“But I’ve worked with you long enough to know you have a problem with leaving even  _pets_  inside fires, let alone  _people!”_ Ishimaru cried, “I should have tried to consider  _why_ that might be the case, instead of just assuming you were being insubordinate!”

“But half the time I just  _am_ an ass! Especially to  _you!”_ Mondo admitted, “No one would have expected you to notice that!”

“But… I still  _could_ have…” Ishimaru’s voice cracked… shit, was he crying!? “I… I could have prevented this… It’s my fault…”

“No it  _ain’t,_ it’s m…”

_*cccreeeaaakkk…*_

“What was that…?” Mondo asked, although he had a sinking feeling he knew exactly what it was.

“It came from the door.” Ishimaru confirmed it, “I think it’s giving way. This… this is it… I… Oowada, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, this is  _all_ my fault and…”

“No!” Mondo reached over and grabbed one of his hands, “Don’t say that! It ain’t your fault, it’s  _mine!”_

 _“No don’t!”_ Ishimaru placed his other hand on top of Mondo’s squeezing tightly, “I don’t want you to blame yourself for this, not even for a moment! And I’m sure your brother felt exactly the same way!”

Dammit… he was still worrying about how Mondo felt, even at a time like  _this._ How could he be so fucking  _good!?_ “…Alright… but I don’t want you blaming  _your_ self, either! Got it!?” Mondo wrapped his arms around his shoulders, “This… ain’t  _either_ of our faults, it’s just something that happened, okay!?”

“…Y… _Yes!”_ He felt Ishimaru’s arms wrap around his back as he buried his head in Mondo’s chest.

_*creeeak… Thud!*_

Damnit… it was about to happen… And all Mondo could do was squeeze his eyes shut, and hug the man in his arms tighter than he’d ever hugged anyone before…

_*Thud…*_

_*Thud…*_

_*CRSSSSH…*_

…Here it comes…

“Hey! It’s  _Oowada!_ And Lieutenant Ishimaru to! Guys! Get the EMT up here!”

“What…?”, “H-huh…!?” He opened his eyes, at the same time as Ishimaru lifted his head and turned to look at the door, to see nothing but one of the other guys holding a beam of torchlight in their direction…

“You… you managed to clear the fire!?” Ishimaru asked, while Mondo slowly let go of him.

“Yes, sir!”

“Ah… Good work!” Ishimaru clambered to his feet, “Oowada and myself are mostly uninjured, but this boy is unconscious from smoke inhalation and will need…”

Mondo didn’t register the rest of his orders… He was  _alive…_ they were  _both_ alive, and getting out of the building with the boy Mondo had been trying to save…

He’d saved one more person… but he’d also learnt something about another… and that person had learnt his deepest secret in return.

He had a feeling he and Kiyotaka were going to be sticking pretty close, from now on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Next week will be another story based on Shino's Museum AU, and then that will be the last thing I have to post here, for the time being.


	14. Selfie Guy (Shino's Museum AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A second story based on @shinos-artblog (on tumblr)/Shino_San (On AO3)'s museum AU, where Taka is a statue that comes to life at night. (The same AU that Rub for Luck is based in.) The statue that is discussed in this chapter is a real statue called “Apollo killing the Python Snake” Which can be see here: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/fa/Ancient_and_recent_selfies.jpg/900px-Ancient_and_recent_selfies.jpg This is about 4500 words total, and is the last fic I had written for the time being, so I am now marking this as complete. Although I do plan to write another Ishimondoleon story for Rarepair week, so I will add that on the 20th of July, and then I will upload anything else I write as and when I do it.

Kiyotaka wondered how long it was going to be before he could move again. It was a question he’d asked himself many times throughout his ‘life’ as a statue that starting moving at the same time each night. He knew he’d suddenly be able to move himself as soon as the clock struck 11pm, but as there wasn’t any clocks in his normal line of sight, he had no indication whatsoever of how much longer it was before he could begin to move each time.

Well… that wasn’t  _exactly_  true, anymore.  _These_ days he at least had some early warning in the form of Mondo, the recently-hired night guard who’d taken to making his way over here, so he could be there when Kiyotaka ‘woke up’ and spend the nights talking to him.

But tonight, he doubted he could rely on Mondo arriving here, ready with the towel he always insisted Kiyotaka cover himself up with, just before 11pm. He wasn’t even sure he’d be able to rely on seeing Mondo tonight… or anyone else _, ever_ for that matter! Because, several hours earlier than usual, as far as he could tell, some members of staff had herded all the visitors  _out_ of the room, gradually taken  _some_ of the other statues out with them, and then shut the door behind them, leaving Kiyotaka alone in the  _dark…_ Which meant if he or Mondo couldn’t get the door open again, he might end up alone again,  _forever!_

_*Creeeeaaakkk…*_

_Aaaaahhh!_ Kiyotaka felt a wave of relief wash over his static form as the large wooden doors screeched open, and he spotted Mondo walking up to his pedestal, taking his usual position behind Kiyotaka, with the towel held up ready for him to take and put on as soon as 11pm arrived…

And, as usual, as soon as it did, Kiyotaka felt a rush of sensation travelling up his body, starting with his feet and legs, which allowed him to plant both feet on the top of his pedestal and stop himself from toppling over. Then it progressed through his torso to his arms and hands, and then finally his head, allowing him to stretch and shake out the remaining stiffness that pervaded his body…

At least, that’s what he’d usually do. Tonight, he was too happy that Mondo had managed to come in the room at all to worry about that, and he went straight for trying to jump down and tell the guard how pleased he was to see him again…

That didn’t  _quite_ go as he planned, as he ended up stumbling forward in his landing, and wouyld have toppled over completely had Mondo not caught him by the chest…

“Woah! What are you…?”

 _“I’m so happy to see you!”_ Kiyotaka couldn’t help but admit, as he wrapped his own arms around Mondo’s waist. “I thought I might be stuck in the dark  _forever!”_

“Urk…!” Mondo made a chocking sound as he tried to push Kiyotaka back, “T…Towel!  _Towel!”_

“Oh… right…” Kiyotaka dejectedly stood up straight and took the towel from Mondo before tying it around his waist. It seemed he didn’t like being hugged like that. “A…anyway, as I was saying, thank you for opening the door!”

“Well, ain’t like I coulda left you in here all night, is it?” Mondo slapped his back and then rested his hand on Kiyotaka’s shoulder, “You weren’t really thinking you might be in here forever, were you? Why the hell would the museum want to hide you like that?”

“Well… I don’t really get looked at all that often, other than when the tour guides come through…” Kiyotaka admitted, “So when they ferried everyone out and only took  _some_ of the statues, I thought perhaps they’d decided not to bother showing the rest of us anymore…”

“What…? No, that ain’t it at all!” Mondo assured him, as he led Kiyotaka out of the room, “I just got told they found asbestos in the walls in your room this afternoon, so they’ve gotta do a bunch of building work in there! So the stuff they took out  _first_ is getting put in storage, and tomorrow morning you and the rest of the popular stuff are gonna get squeezed into some of the other rooms, until yours is fixed!”

“I’m one of the more  _popular_ pieces in my room?” Kiyotaka asked.

“Hell yeah! You’re a great looking piece of…. artwork!” Mondo told him.

“Then why do you always insist I cover myself with  _this!?”_ Kiyotaka asked, gesturing to the towel he now had wrapped around him. “If I look alright without it?”

“That’s… Well… it’s fine when you’re in your still form, it’s just while you’re  _moving_ you need to wear it!” Mondo insisted.

The  _movement_ was an issue? Was that really all it was? It always felt like Mondo wasn’t giving him a straight answer about this, but he couldn’t think of a way to counter the argument right now. And besides, he had another question… “Alright… So what’s  _asbestos?”_

“Oh, right! See, it’s this stuff they used to shove into walls to insulate really old buildings… that is, keep em warm, you know?” Mondo explained, “Only, they then found out later that it’s a huge problem for people’s health if it’s left to break down, so now they have to get people to take it out whenever they come across it… At least, if the building owner actually give a shit…”

“Why wouldn’t they? Wouldn’t  _they_ be the first person affected if they didn’t?”

“Eh… not everyone lives in the places they own, or owns the places they live in.” Mondo told him, “Some people make money by buying whole buildings and charging people to live in ‘em, but if there’s a problem with the building they’re  _supposed_ to be the ones who pay to fix it?”

 _“Supposed to?”_ Kiyotaka asked, “Does that mean they don’t always?”

“Oh don’t get me  _started…!”_ Mondo groaned which, as always, meant that he then continued to talk about the topic at length for most of the night. Kiyotaka would have to ask him why he’d say not to get him started if he was planning to get  _himself_ started regardless, some time! But for now, listening to Mondo talk about the places he and friends of his had ‘rented’ in the past was  _fascinating!_

But, all too soon, Kiyotaka found his body was walking back to his usual pedestal, almost as if it was out of his control…

“Shit… It’s almost six  _already!?”_ Mondo grimaced, as Kiyotaka walked into the room again.

“It seems so…” Kiyotaka sighed, as his body sat on top of his pedestal and then brought his feet up…

“Alright… I dunno where exactly you’re gonna be tomorrow, so just stay in whatever room they put you in, and I’ll come find you, alright?” Mondo told him quickly, as his was already standing up and moving his arms and legs into position…

“Understood! Good morning, Mon…!”

 _Curses…_ He never  _did_ manage to say goodbye properly! No matter how many times they spent the night talking to each other, it still felt like they never had enough time to say everything they wanted to…

“Good morning too, Kiyotaka…” Mondo sighed as he removed the towel from Kiyotaka’s waist. “See you tonight…”

Kiyotaka would have sighed to, if he could. He hated watching Mondo leave more and more each passing day. But the man had to go home and eat and sleep… and apparently take showers, if the water was working, which was a new thing he’d learnt last night!

At least today, he knew what was going on, and that Mondo would definitely be coming back to see him again. And as Mondo had told him, it wasn’t long before more members of staff arrived and carefully transported him through the hallways into the Grecian antiquities section.

Well, this certainly made a nice change! He  _still_ couldn’t see a clock, but he  _could_ see several nice looking statues that he’d always been curious to hear more about, and  _today_ he’d actually be in the same room as them while the tour guides spoke about them! He just had to wait for the museum to open properly!

Eventually, after what Kiyotaka guessed was another hour or so, the first few guests of the day filtered into the room. And Kiyotaka was  _quite_ pleased to see so many of them stop and take out those new, thin rectangular cameras that seemed to have replaced the old boxy ones! 

He liked it when people took the time to take a picture of him and the other artworks! It was nice to know that they’d appreciated his appearance enough to want to make a record of it, and might go back and look at him again one day in the future! It almost made him wish there was a way to stretch himself out just a  _little_ more, to make his pose just a  _bit_ better for the cameras. But beyond thinking positive thoughts and hoping that his happy mood somehow visible on his face while the cameras were pointed at him, there was little he could do to impress them during the daytime.

But… even though there were lots of people taking out their cameras when they first came through the door, hardly  _any_ of them were bothering to take a picture of  _him!_ In fact, it seemed most of them only wanted to take a picture of  _one_ statue in particular, and were barely paying any attention to the rest of the room! How was  _that_ fair!? Why was everyone deciding to pay attention to  _that_ statue!? He couldn’t remember there ever being anything  _that_ good in here, or anywhere  _else_ in the museum, for that matter! But he couldn’t see, or remember, exactly what statue it was they were all paying attention to, and he was too far away to overhear the tour guides explaining it.

Well then, he’d just have to wait until tonight to find out which statue it  _was_ all the visitors were so interested in… And in the meantime he’d just have to try and ignore it and enjoy being able to hear interesting new facts about  _these_ statues, so he would have some new things to talk to Mondo about!

 

 _That_  plan had ended up being much easier to  _think_ than  _do…_ No matter how many times he tried to tell himself not to let it bother him, it still riled him up every time he saw someone take a picture of the mystery statue! He wanted to be able to shout and scream at them all, to show them he  _existed_ and get them to at least acknowledge that he was here, instead of just glancing up at him for the briefest of moments, before moving on and doing the same thing with all of the  _other_ statues, which probably didn’t even  _know_ they were being looked at!

 _Urrgghh…_ Why had they had to move him  _here?_ If he’d stayed in his old room, at least he could have seen the asbestos being taken out… and he’d have never known how much attention he was missing out on!  But now, he was left feeling as angry and frustrated about his existence as he had been before Mondo came to work here…

By the time the last of the customers came though, and the museum shut for the night, Kiyotaka hadn’t remembered a single thing about any of the new statues… He’d just have to hope Mondo had something  _he_ wanted to talk about, instead. Kiyotaka didn’t feel like staying in  _this_ room any longer than he had to, anyway.

But, as Mondo had expected, Kiyotaka’s body started moving again before Mondo had found where he was. And once he’d run through his night-time stretches, his bitter curiosity got the better of him, and he found himself heading over to the area that so many people had thought worthy of taking a picture of…

It was just the statue of Apollo killing a snake! What was so good about  _that,_ compared him and to everything  _else_ in the room!? It wasn’t even a  _whole_ statue, as the spear that he’d originally been holding had been made of something else and disintegrated, so now Apollo was just stood there, casually stepping on an angry snake while holding a useless lump of stone up in his hand! Why was everyone so insistent on getting a picture of  _that!?_

…Was it just that Apollo himself was good looking? Most of the cameras had been pointed  _up,_ towards his face. Was there just something about it that made people want to stop and pay attention to him?

And even more worrying, what if  _Mondo_ reacted the same way to Apollo as all the  _other_ humans had!? What if he decided to spend the evening watching  _him,_ and barely paying Kiyotaka any attention whatsoever, and Kiyotaka didn’t have anyone to talk to again!?

Well… maybe that was a little paranoid… Kiyotaka could  _talk,_ unlike Apollo! And Mondo did always say he liked listening to him… But… perhaps he should try and find something to cover up Apollo’s face before Mondo arrived, just in  _case…_

“Hey, Kiyotaka! I found you!”  _Oh no_ … Mondo was already here, looking away from Kiyotaka and holding his arm as he came towards him… “Here’s your towel…”

Ah  _ha!_ That would be  _perfect!_ “Thank you!” Kiyotaka told him, grabbing it by the corners and preparing to throw it up over Apollo’s head…

“Woah! What the hell are you  _doing!?”_ Mondo cried, grabbing him by the wrists and trying to force them downwards to his waist.

“Covering up  _him!”_ Kiyotaka explained, fighting back against him, which only caused Mondo’s face to turn red and make him redouble his efforts.

“… _WHY!?”_ Mondo asked, but before Kiyotaka had a chance to explain, Mondo had already turned up to look at his new rival…! “…What’s your problem with Selfie guy!?”

“Err…” Mondo had barely bothered to look at Apollo… Was he somehow immune to whatever spell that statue had put over everyone else who’d seen it? And why had he called the statue ‘selfie guy’? “…Are you talking about  _selkies?_ The sea creatures? But they’re from an entirely different branch of folklore to…”

“No… not Selkie,  _SELFie!”_ Mondo corrected, “’Cause it looks like he’s holding a phone!”

“You mean the end of the spear? That doesn’t look anything  _like_ a phone!” Kiyotaka argued, starting to mime a phone shape as much as he could while Mondo was gripping his wrists. “Telephones are black boxes with a circular front and a curved handle that you put up to your…”

“…You’ve only ever seen  _rotary_ phones!?” Mondo cut off his description, “I mean… I guess there’s no classical art of cellphones, but ain’t I ever shown you  _mine!?”_

“No… Wouldn’t it be rather cumbersome to carry around with you…?”

 _“_ Ahaha… Nah, technology’s improved a  _lot!_ I’m surprised you’ve not seen any already…” Mondo commented, laughing gently at his ignorance, “Put your towel on and I’ll show you.”

“Alright…” Kiyotaka agreed. It really did seem that Mondo had no interest in Apollo, “Thought I  _still_ don’t understand why you want  _me_ to cover myself, but all the  _other_ naked statues are alright!”

“I told you, it’s cause  _you’re_ moving! They _ain’t!”_ Mondo snapped in exasperation, but  _this_ time Kiyotaka had thought of a response!

“Well, if it’s the  _movement_  that you think will be a problem, then you’ll be pleased to know that I’m actually quite  _stiff_  down there!”

“Ghhx… dsx…  _WHAT…!?_ D-d-d…don’t say that while we’re… I mean…  _That doesn’t help!”_ Contrary to his expectations, that only caused Mondo to turn even redder and begin spluttering incoherently. “Just…  _d’ya wanna see the phone or not!?”_

“Ahh…  _Yes.”_  Kiyotaka admitted, begrudgingly moving his arms down and tying the towel around his waist once Mondo let go of his wrists.

 _“Thank_ you!” Mondo sighed, reaching into his coat pocket and drawing out one of those new rectangular cameras…  _“This_ is my phone!”

“That’s a telephone!? I thought they were cameras!”

“Well, that’s fair, ‘cause they take pictures as well as make calls…” Mondo fiddled with it for a moment, and Kiyotaka could have  _sworn_ he saw a picture of a dog flash up briefly on the front of it… “They’re like mini computers, so you can go on the internet and play games as well…”

“You can play games? Like chess?” Kiyotaka asked, although in retrospect that was probably a bad example. It was barely half an inch thick, where would you keep all the pieces?

“Uhh… There’s  _probably_ chess, but I mostly use it to play angry birds…”

“There are  _birds_ in there!?”

“No… not  _real_ birds…” Mondo corrected him, then frowned as he tried to think of an explanation. “It’s… uhh… y’know what? Just forget the games bit for now, else we’ll be here all night…”

“Alright… so you were going to explain these ‘Selfie’ things to me?”

“Yeah! So, like you already know, phones have a camera mode on em, see?” Mondo brought the device up to his face, and he could see that it was showing a picture of the other side of the room. “So I just point it at what I want to take a picture of, then tap the screen to save the picture, like this!”

Mondo swivelled around the phone and pressed on it a few times, leaving smudged fingerprints on the screen, but also saving several perfect replicas of their view of the room, which he then showed Kiyotaka how to ‘swipe’ through to view them all.

“So… these are selfies?” Kiyotaka asked, now holding the phone by himself. As impressive as this was, he didn’t really understand what it all had to do with Apollo…

“No… See,  _these_  were taken using the camera on the  _back_ of the phone…” Mondo explained, “But if I tap up  _here…”_

 _“OH!”_ Kiyotaka gasped as an image of his own face suddenly showed up on the phone instead, keeping up with every movement he made… “It’s turned into a mirror!”

“Kinda… it’s just showing what this camera on the front can see…” Mondo pointed at a tiny circle at the top of the screen, which cause the view of his face to be covered up by a dark-pinkish blur until Mondo took his finger away. “And you can take pictures like this as well, just by tapping the screen again…”

Kiyotaka took that as an invitation to try it himself, and cautiously tapped the screen, which flashed after a moment to show it had taken a picture.

“So, now if we look at the pictures again…” Mondo tapped a small square at the bottom left of the screen… how could he remember what all these tiny symbols actually  _did?_ “You can see the pic of yourself!”

“Ahh…” Kiyotaka almost wished he  _hadn’t_ seen the picture… his eyebrows looked ridiculous furrowed together like that, and he was squinting down at something with a stupid look of confusion on his face… “…I don’t usually look that bad when I look in the mirror…”

“Well, that’s just ‘cause there’s a trick to taking good pictures of yourself!” Mondo assured him, taking the phone out of his hands, “I don’t usually do it myself, but apparently it helps if you hold the phone up high, like this…!”

“I see.” Kiyotaka nodded as Mondo demonstrated the correct pose, which seemed oddly familiar… “… _AH!_ That’s what Apollo looks like he’s doing!”

“You got it!” Mondo grinned, “That’s why everyone calls that statue ‘selfie guy’.”

“But… the statue wasn’t originally depicted with a phone like that…” Kiyotaka started to explain.

“Yeah, I remember you telling me it’s just ‘cause the spear was made of something else which has worn away or rotted…” Mondo agreed, “It’s just funny to people that the statue makes it look like the dude’s taking a picture of himself.”

“It’s  _funny?”_ Kiyotaka asked, “So, all the people I saw taking pictures of him were just laughing at him?”

“Well… probably. That’s what I did the first night I was here. Before you wandered up and scared the shit outta me, anyway.” Mondo explained, flicking at his phone’s screen for a while, “Here, see? I took a selfie of me and him taking a selfie!”

“Hmm…” Kiyotaka felt his entire body stiffen up as Mondo shoved a picture of himself, grinning in front of Apollo’s pedestal, in Kiyotaka’s face… Mondo had never tried to take any pictures of  _him…_

“Ehh, yeah it’s not the best angle… that’s why I took a couple of normal pictures to get the point across…” Mondo started flicking through even  _more_ pictures of him…

“Well… I think I’ve seen enough of  _him_ for today!” Kiyotaka insisted. He’d seen enough of Apollo and people stopping to take photographs of his stupid  _selfie pose_ for the rest of his  _existence!_ “Why don’t you tell me more about those game birds!?”

Mondo didn’t respond straight away, instead blinking his eyes at Kiyotaka and turning his cheeks a light pink colour for a while, “…Are you jealous!? Is that why you were gonna cover him up with the towel?”

“I suppose…” Kiyotaka admitted, “Almost everyone who came in here stopped to take a picture of him and talk about him… Whereas most of the time, people only look at  _me_ for more than a secondwhen the tour guide stops to tell them all about me.”

“Yeah… but they’re looking at  _him_ ‘cause they think he’s a  _joke!”_ Mondo tried to cheer him up.

“But… art only exists to  _be_ looked at and discussed! Even if all they do is laugh at him, at least  _he’s_ being acknowledged!” Kiyotaka pointed out. “Whereas I’m just another filler piece that constantly gets passed by without comment…”

“But… that ain’t ‘cause you ain’t good art! It’s just that you’re in a room filled with good art, and it’s hard for you to stand out!” Mondo carried on regardless, “I mean, if you were in my living room, every person who came round would be talking about you!”

“Really!?” That sounded fantastic! “Could you take me there?”

“What!? I can’t do that! Do you have any idea how much trouble I’d get in if you disappeared and turned up at my place!?” Mondo exclaimed, “You’re probably worth, like…  _millions_  of dollars, or something! I can’t just  _steal_ you!”

“But if no one bothers to look at me, then what’s the point of me even  _being_ here!?”

“Well… I dunno…” Mondo’s cheeks turned pink again as he looked around the room. “You make me look forward to coming to work every night… hell, you’d even make me not wanna  _leave_ work, if you didn’t turn back to stone in the mornings, for what it’s worth… Although that probably ain’t much, given how long you’ve been here.”

“Oh…” That… that actually  _did_ make him feel like there was a reason to stay here. If he lived in Mondo’s home, they’d never get to talk to each other again… And the way Mondo listened to him, and even remembered some of the things he talked about, was always far more gratifying than any photograph of him had ever been… There was just one thing left that was bothering him… “Why have you never taken a photograph of  _me,_ then?”

“I dunno, guess it never occurred to me to stop the conversation, just to take a picture.” Mondo admitted, “And it wouldn’t have felt right taking one of you when you couldn’t do anything to stop me.”

“Why not?”

“Well, ‘cause you should always get people’s permission to take pictures of ‘em!” Mondo told him, “At least, it’s good manners to…”

“But, you didn’t get  _Apollo’s_ permission, did you?” Kiyotaka asked, “You wouldn’t be  _able_ to!”

“Yeah, but  _he’s_ just an ordinary statue!” Mondo argued, “It probably ain’t got feelings and shit like  _you_  do, right?”

“No, I suppose not…” Kiyotaka sighed. As much time as he’d spent trying to talk to the other artwork before Mondo came, it seemed that only  _he_ was the only one capable of thinking and moving around for himself.

“Uhh… well… how’s about we take a picture together  _now!”_ Mondo quickly changed the subject into one Kiyotaka was much more comfortable with. “And then maybe we can take pictures of some of the  _other_ art, like my friends keep bugging me to do…”

“Yes! And then I can practise my selfie pose!” Kiyotaka agreed.

“Sure! Now, stand next to me and pull your head in close to mine…” Mondo started, putting an arm over his own shoulders and bringing up the camera with a grin that Kiyotaka couldn’t help but mirror once he’d seen it on the screen…

It was the first of many wonderful-looking pictures that Mondo took of him and the other pieces of art in the museum.  He was  _much_ better at this than Kiyotaka was, that was for sure! It didn’t seem to matter  _how_ carefully he angled the phone and his own face, it never came out quite as nice as when Mondo took a picture with him…

“Guess it’s getting close to morning…” Mondo sighed, which was probably true… he could feel his body already making its way back to his pedestal, even as he tried yet again to get a decent picture of himself on this finicky little device…

“Hmmm…”  _Darnit,_ that one  _still_ looked terrible!

“Heh… Thinking about it, I’d probably better make sure I take the photos of you off that phone before I show it to anyone…”

“Wait… you meant you’re going to  _delete_ them!?” Kiyotaka asked, as he reached the pedestal and sat on it…

“No… I’ll copy them to my computer to keep ‘em safe!” Mondo promised, as he stood up. “So, uhh… if I can take that back now…”

“Of course!” Kiyotaka agreed, as his arms and legs stretched into his usual pose, which meant the camera was now in a perfect position just above his face… “Just let me try  _one_ more ti…”

But before he could, both his body and the phone in his hand solidified and turned into stone.

 _“…_ Mother _fucker!_ How am I supposed to get  _that_ down!? _”_ Mondo swore, looking up at the seveal-foot gap between him and Kiyotaka’s hands. Not only had Kiyotaka accidentally forced himself to stare at a block of stone for the whole day, but he’d also left Mondo without his phone! “Well… Have fun being another ‘selfie guy’ today…”  He sighed, as he untied the towel from around Mondo’s waist. “I just gotta hope no one from the staff notices and realised it’s  _my_ fault…”

Ahh… that  _would_ be a disaster… After all, he could have all the attention Apollo and every  _other_ piece of art here got, but it would  _never_ make up for being separated from  _Mondo_ if he got the guard into trouble _…_


	15. The Birthday Surprise (Another Post DR:IF birthday fic for Taka, 2018)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short fluffy Ishimondo fic for Kiyotaka’s birthday! I decided to make it one year on from the post-DR:IF Future foundation AU I wrote about for his birthday last year (chapter 6 of this fic), where Mondo is a member of Division 12 building stuff out in the field and Taka is officially a member of Division 1 but tends to end up working with lots of different divisions to encourage cohesion between them all. 3700 words

 

Red and orange rays of sunlight struggled to fight their way through thick city smog, as Mondo struggled to resist the urge to ignore the view and instead watch his fiancé’s face as he bathed in the meagre amount of light that  _did_ manage to filter through his office window, onto the couch he’d apparently pulled over the evening before, just so he could wake Mondo up this morning to watch the sunrise together. Mondo could already feel Taka’s body relaxing slightly in his arms as they snuggled under the bedspread he’dinsisted on dragging over when Taka had apologetically woken him up this morning, and Mondo could just imagine the rare peaceful smile that would probably be playing on his lips as he watched the fuzzy warm light slowly spread its way up the perpetual grey clouds of pollution that still remained from the Tragedy.

But he  _did_  resist the urge to turn and watch Taka’s eyes gradually light up, and plant a gentle kiss on his temple, at least until the sun had mostly risen in the sky and the orange and reds had slowly faded back to grey again. Taka had been excited about watching this morning’s sunrise, and Mondo knew he’d only take ‘but you’re betterthan  _any_ sunrise!’ as an insult to his judgement. Either that, or he’d be reminded of the fact that Mondo got to see  _much_ better views of the sunrise when he was out building stuff outside of the city, and then he’d probably feel bad about making Mondo ‘waste time’ watching ‘sub-par’ sunrises… as if Mondo would  _ever_ consider any time spent with a happy and relaxed Taka to be a  _waste!_ Especially  _these_ days, when the guy was so busy running between different divisions of Future Foundation that he barely had enough time to eat and sleep most days… and only  _then,_ because he’d had half his living accommodations converted into a live-in office so he didn’t have to waste time travelling to work each day. Spending time together like this was a rarity for them…

“So, that’s  _it…?”_  …A rarity that was over all too soon, as Taka let out a sigh and started to straighten his posture, pulling himself out of Mondo’s arm. “I suppose  _technically_ it’s the best sunrise we’ve seen, but they made it seem like it was going to be much better when they discussed it on the weather forecast! Perhaps I should send a message to the organisers reminding them not to overstate future occurrences, to avoid disappointing the populace and…”

Oh boy… Less than half an hour into their day together, and Taka was already getting himself worked up to scold some poor bastard who’d probably just been trying to give people something nice to look forward to…

 _“It’s your BIRTHDAY!_ You ain’t working today, remember!?” Mondo snatched Taka’s phone away as soon as he pulled it out of his pocket. “‘Sides… weather reports were crap even  _before_ the Tragedy! People’ll probably be more surprised it was a half-decent view at all!”

“I…I suppose that’s fair… It’s not really a fair reason to reprimand them over it…” Taka agreed reluctantly, looking slightly guilty in the face of Mondo’s firm glare. “I just… I’d been wishing I could wake up and see the sunrise sometime… and I mean  _actually_ see it, like  _before!_ So then, when they said the smog level was going to be at its lowest on my  _birthday,_ of all days…”

“…You felt like it was gonna be just for  _you.”_ Mondo finished for him, as he trailed off in embarrassment. He’d always been one to insist that stuff like fate and karma was all a load of crap, that the only ‘force’ that could shape your life was your own effort, so if you wanted something to happen, you should get off your ass and  _make_ it happen! But there  _were_ times when he secretly dared to think that maybe the universe  _would_ be kind enough to help him out, or at least make shit go his way for once…

“Ridiculous, I know.” Taka immediately scolded himself for having bothered to have a shred of hope over the matter, “As if I’ve done anything to deserve to have the whole  _atmosphere_ align itself to give me a nicer view!”

“ _Suuuure_ , Taka… All  _you’re_  doing ishelping lead all the people who’re, y’know, _getting rid of the damn smog in the first place!_ You don’t deserve anything for  _that!”_ Mondo snapped sarcastically at him… He’d heard the guy rag on himself for not having a ‘proper hardworking’  _physical_ job, like Mondo’s, too many times this year… “And  _don’t_ say they could’ve done it themselves! I’ve  _seen_ my boss tryin’ to talk to the guys over in  _science_ about what we need to build _…_ expecting‘em to get anything done like  _that_  this whole time would’ve been a total  _clusterfuck!”_

“You think…?” Taka’s face softened and turned slightly pink, and he didn’t resist when Mondo gently pulled him back under his arm…

“ _Hell_  yeah… We’d be  _fucked_ without you…” Mondo told him gently, coaxing him to relax and snuggle in a little closer to his chest. It was what  _Mondo_  thought, anyway. And he’d fucking  _fight_ anyone who didn’t agree! “So you should’ve  _said_ you wanted to see the sun rise… You know the view’s better  _outside_ the city, right…?”

“I’ve heard as much… but I’ve not had time to go out of the city before today, and you got here so late last night, I couldn’t have made you wake up  _that_ early to drive me out there!” That was bullshit… He  _could_ have, and Mondo would have done it with… only a  _small_ number of complaints. “Even  _if_ this  _surprise_ of yours involves going out there, anyway… Not that I can imagine  _what_ you’ve found out there  _this_ time!”

“ _Heh_ … well, you’ll see soon enough…” Mondo smirked before stealing another kiss, mostly at Taka’s assumption that he’d  _found_ something, like last year when he’d stumbled across a gas station in his blind panic at trying to get back to head office quickly enough not to have missed the guy’s birthday entirely.

 _“Hrrrmmmm…!”_ Taka let out a low grumble at  _still_ not knowing exactly what Mondo had planned for the day. His job had made him get used to being kept in almost  _every_ loop, so Mondo having  _very obviously_ kept him in the dark about this was driving him  _nuts_ … and Mondo couldn’t say he  _hadn’t_ enjoyed teasing the guy over it, over the last few month.  _“Well then!_ Let’s stop lazing around on the couch and start getting ready, so we have time to actually  _enjoy_ your surprise!”

Mondo resisted the urge to sigh out loud as Taka wrenched the bed spread away and stood up, leaving Mondo with nothing but the sudden shock of how  _cold_ it was in Taka’s office. To be fair, he  _was_ looking forward to seeing Taka’s reaction to the surprise he’d spent the whole of this year planning…

 

Over an hour of Taka gripping his chest tightly and occasionally letting out loud laughs about how much he’d missed driving with Mondo, Mondo pulled up the bike and announced that they’d arrived at…

 _“…A shuttle station!?”_ Taka looked around irritably, as if to make absolutely sure that was really where they were. “But… we’ve had this operational for  _months!_ We could have got the shuttle here  _ourselves!”_

“Yeah… but, you said it yourself, you’ve missed riding with me!” Mondo pointed out, grinning as Taka’s face turned red he crossed his arms…

“That’s no reason to waste fuel…!” He groused, before apparently deciding to leave it at that. “But… well, it’s done now. Where’s this surprise of yours? Everything here looks the same as I would have expected…”

“Eh… It’s about a couple of miles away…” Mondo answered, “We’re gonna walk the rest…”

“What!? But… you already brought the bike all his way…!” Taka spluttered, “Why not just drive straight there!?”

Well… the  _real_ reason was ‘cause he wanted Taka to remember how to get back out there by himself… by telling the guy  _that_ would have been a huge hint as to what he had planned. “Uhh… I just figured you’d  _like_ a chance to walk through the country…”

“Err… Well, I’m sure I will! It’s been ages since I got some proper fresh air…” Taka admitted with a deep breath, which was half the reason Mondo had decided to do this in the first place… “I just didn’t expect  _you_  to suggest walking somewhere we could  _drive_ to…! There’s not some  _other_ reason you’re not telling me, is there…?”

“Eh…? What kinda reason would  _that_ be…?”Mondo couldn’t help but grin at Taka, as he’d obviously figured Mondo was keeping something from him again.

“Something like a reason that would make it obvious what you’re  _planning!”_ Taka explained irritably.

“Ahahaha! Well…  _maybe_ there’s something like that…” Mondo admitted, just to tease the guy some more…

“I  _knew_ it!” Taka cried, “Well, what  _is_  it!?”

“I ain’t tellin’ ya! It’s a  _surprise!”_ Mondo repeated for what have been the hundredth time this month. “And the more we stand here arguing about it, the longer you’ll have to wait to find out what it is!”

“ _Hrrrmm_ …!” Mondo almost burst out laughing as Taka pouted at him for several seconds, realising that there was no way Mondo was backing down and it  _would_ just be quicker to just get on with the walk… “Alright! Lead the way!”

“Alright… it’s right this way…” Mondo answered, pointing out an obvious path out of the shuttle station…

Taka marched right ahead, setting a quick pace that was more ‘forced march’ than ‘romantic walk’, which Mondo took as an opportunity to follow behind and admire him from the back…

He still had the same rigid posture and militaristic gait as always… and of course, there was the nice ass as well, which took most of Mondo’s attention. But other than that… Taka wasn’t looking  _quite_ as toned as he had done the last time Mondo had visited him. Not that he’d gained weight… Mondo would have preferred it if he  _had!_ But instead he looked like he’d lost a whole bunch of muscle over the last few months, and somehow managed to get even paler than before…

So it wasn’t much of a surprise when Taka’s march slowed down enough for him to fall back in line with Mondo about ten minutes later, giving him a chance to put his arm around Taka’s shoulders as they walked, and talk about how he’d helped plant the group of small trees that they were walking through. That then gave Taka a chance to to put his arm around Mondo’s back, while he explained that the Foundation were hoping it would grow into a proper forest one day, to replace the one that had been there before, and if it worked out well, they’d do the same in several other spots over the country, once they’d made absolutely sure there were no more pockets of Despair left hanging around them…

What  _did_ surprise Mondo was that, towards the end of Taka’s explanation, he started needing to take deeper breaths more often to keep walking and talking at the same time… “…You need a break…?”

“It’s only been… twenty minutes…!” Taka answered stubbornly, but so breathlessly that Mondo could tell the answer was really a ‘yes’.

“Let’s slow down then.” He decided, using the arm he had around Taka’s shoulders to drag him back a bit, earning him a look of begrudging gratitude from his fiancé. “…You ain’t been giving yourself time to exercise… Not regularly, anyway…”

“I… I’ve  _tried!”_ Taka insisted, apparently taking it as an accusation from Mondo, rather than just the concerned comment he’d meant it as. “There’s just… so many days… I work so much… I’d have to cut out  _sleep_ instead…!”

Mondo sighed. He  _knew_ it’d be something like that… And, of course, Taka wouldn’t have even  _considered_  the obvious answer… “Then  _work_ less!”

“I  _try_ to! But there’s so much going on… if I put off meetings to exercise… whole  _projects_ will get delayed!” Taka cried, his left hand twitching anxiously at the fabric of Mondo’s coat. “I mean… I already delayed something by a  _week,_ just to have  _today_ off! How could I justify doing  _that_  on a regular basis…!?”

“You ain’t  _gotta_ justify it! Everyone  _else_ in the Foundation gets time off, and you deserve it to!” Mondo snapped, although Taka didn’t look at  _all_ convinced… “‘Sides, shit gets delayed all the time, whether you go too all your meetings or not. You having a day off now and then ain’t gonna kill anyone!”

“Well… maybe not  _directly!_ But it’s like you said… things wouldn’t work without me!”Taka argued.  _“_ And given the work we’re doing is saving lives, any delay probably  _would_ result in more people dying than necessary! So, then… if  _I_ cause a delay…”

Fucking  _hell,_ was that how he thought of it? No wonder he hadn’t been taking time to take care of himself… But he couldn’t keep going the way he  _was…!_

“Taka… if it’s  _that_ important, then they need to get someone to back you up… ‘Cause you never having a break is  _definitely_ gonna kill  _you!”_ Taka instantly opening his mouth to argue, but Mondo already knew exactly what he was going to try and say… “And  _don’t_ try and say you’re fine! It’s not even been  _three months_ since I last saw ya last, and I can already see how fucked your health has gotten!”

“…Is it really that bad…?” Taka asked, guiltily. “I had  _thought_  of asking for an assistant… But, it would take time to train them, and it seems pointless when I’m managing to get all my work done without one…”

“But you’re only getting it done ‘cause you’re giving up everything except sleeping and eating!” Mondo reminded him, “Lemme put I like this… what would you do if you found out  _I_ was spending as much time working as  _you_ do, just to get everything I had to do, done!?”

“Ahh…  _Oh._ ” It seemed like  _that_ had made Taka realise how badly he was treating himself… “…I’d probably march into Gozu’s office and tell him that it was completely unfair to treat you like that, and he needed to either give you less to do, or assign another person to your project…”

 _“Exactly.”_ Mondo ruffled his hair, “So, what’re you gonna do once you’re back at headquarters…”

“I… I’m going to organise a meeting with Munakata to tell him that I’m not coping with my current workload, and that I probably need an assistant to help me…” Taka answered dutifully, but with the barest hint of relief mixed in his voice as well, already looking better for having decided to do it. “I promise!”

“ _Good_ … and tell him you’re gonna need one day off a month, when you’re not gonna be available by phone.” Mondo added.

“What…?  _Why!?”_

“‘Cause… you’re gonna wanna be out  _here…”_ Mondo told him, as they rounded the corner around a particularly dense path of tress and came to the clearing he’d been working in for all that time… “Enjoying  _this.”_

“…A  _cabin!?”_ Taka blinked in amazement at the rustic wooden building that Mondo had been secretly putting together, whenever he’d had spare time. Not that it was much to be proud of… He hadn’t  _had_ much spare time, so it was a pretty small building, just one room outlined with upright logs and covered with a steepled wooden roof. Plus he’d run out of time to put down he deck out front, and had had to resort to lazily shoving some planks on the front doorstep to act as a ramp, rather than the nice set of stairs he’d  _wanted_ to make. But looking at Taka’s face, you’d have thought Mondo had just shown him a golden palace… “…What’s a  _cabin_ doing here!? This wasn’t on any of the plans…!”

“I promised I’d build you a house.” Mondo answered, and judging from the look of bemusement on Taka’s face, Makoto had made good on his promise not to let  _Taka_ know about  _that_ missing memory… “Well… Back in school, I did. Apparently…”

“But… I don’t even remember that!  _You_ wouldn’t even remember that! The only way you’d know that is if  _Makoto_ … _”_ Taka froze in realisation… “You mean  _Makoto’s_  been in on this the whole time!?”

 _“Yep!”_ Mondo grinned at the look of rage on Taka’s face, as he was probably thinking about how much  _easier_ it would have been to get an answer out of  _Makoto,_ if he’d known that the kid had had the answer to his question this whole time… “He mentioned it right after your  _last_ birthday…”

“So he’s known for a  _whole year!?”_ Taka shrieked, and Mondo couldn’t think to do anything but laugh at him, until he calmed down and Mondo’s laughter slowly started infecting him, first forcing his scowl to twitch into a smirk, then making him snort compulsively, before it caused him to chuckle and finally burst out laughing so hard that the  pair of them ended up having to hold each other upright to stop themselves from falling over until they finally stopped…

“…I haven’t laughed like that in  _ages…”_ Taka was the first to break the silence. “I’ve missed it… I’ve missed  _you!”_

“Same here…” Mondo admitted. Sure, he’d had a few laughs with the handful of guys he managed, but he’d never been able to just let go and forget everything else around him without Taka by his side. “It’s, uhh… kinda why I built this all the way out here, y’know…? Be easier for me to get to than headquarters is… If I’ve got the day off when  _you_ decide to come, that is! There’s no power at the moment, but I put in a log stove, so we could bring food and cook it up together. And I put in some bird feeders, and I’m  _sure_ there’s less seed in some of ‘em, so we might get to see some birds in the afternoons, and, uhh…”

…All the time he’d spent planning and building this thing, thinking about how great it’d be to bring Taka here, and organise days where they met up and spent the whole day here… and he couldn’t think of more than  _two_ things for them to do while they were there…!? Other than the thing Taka would probably prefer he  _didn’t_ say out loud while they were outside!? Shit, maybe he should have waited until he’d managed to get some power to the place…

“And we’ll be  _together!”_  Taka suddenly announced, smiling broadly as he stared off  _through_ the cabin, clutching Mondo’s arm warmly. “And, perhaps, in the winter, we’ll stay here late enough to see the sunset…”

“Sure… Hell, I made a bed, so we could even stay overnight and see the sun _rise_ , sometimes…” Mondo added, and Taka gripped his arm even tighter with excitement. “And, later on, when everything’s fixed up as good as it was before, I’ll run some power-lines out here, and build a few extra rooms, and we can live here together  _every_  day…”

“Ah… when… it’s  _as good as before…?”_ Mondo felt Taka stiffen up at his side. What the hell had been wrong with that. “Mondo… I… I’m sorry. As much as I  _want_ to live here with you… I don’t want to get your hopes up by agreeing with  _that_ …”

“Eh…? Whaddaya mean?” Why the hell would it be ‘getting his hopes up’ if he agreed to  _that…?_ “Do you… do you think we’re never gonna get back to how things were…? ‘Cause I know it’s slow going and all, but…”

“No… it’s not that! I’ve always believed that if everyone worked together, we’d be able to do it! And now I know there are people like  _you_ building things like  _this_ on your own initiative, I’m  _sure_ of it!” Taka’s eyes lit up with that bright determination of his, where Mondo  _knew_ he was just imagining all the great things people could… and  _would,_ if given the right chances, do together. “But… I’m not going to be able to stop  _there…”_

 _Oh…_ Of  _course._ Mondo shoulda  _known…_ “You wanna keep working until everything’s even  _better_ than before…”

“Yes… that was  _always_ my goal. And I’m  _not_ going to let  _Enoshima’s_   _setback_ stop me!” Fucking hell… only  _he_ would call the pretty-much-end of the world a ‘ _setback’!_   _“But…_ I still want you by my side, while I do it… Is that too selfish of me…?”

…And only  _he_ would think Mondo wouldn’t  _gladly_ ditch whatever dumb plans he’d made, just for the chance to follow along with Taka’s and see where they ended up leading…  _“Hell_ no! You wouldn’t be the guy I  _love_  if you  _were_ willing to retire after doing a half-assed job!” Mondo told him, cupping his face and leaning down to give him a long kiss, just to prove the point. “…I’ll just have to build us a  _new_ house, near headquarters… or where the new government ends up being…”

“That’s assuming there  _is_ a new government!” Taka blurted out enthusiastically. “The  _old_ models were hardly working out for the average person, and although they  _could,_ if there was a sure-fire way of cutting out corruption and elitism from the process, it  _might_ be easier to try and devise a  _new_ system that avoids granting power to a select few,  _especially_ with people being more on edge these days! We’ve already had people getting concerned that Future Foundation, particularly Division One is getting too powerful, which we really need to do something about…”

Hah! And he’d been worried that Taka might get bored out here with nothing to do… Mondo hadn’t even taken him  _inside_ yet, and the guy had already started babbling on about politics and his plans for the future…

Still… that suited Mondo just fine. Hell, he’d have listened to Taka reading out the damn  _phonebook_ with a smile on his face! Just as long as whatever Taka did, he got to do it with  _him_ more often…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been meaning to do a take on the 'I'll build you a house' talent development conversation for a while now, and this was finally my chance to do one! I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for reading.


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